Ex as workmate

[SethDamien]

Ok, i probably posted a similar thread months ago, but that was more of a ramble. Now, I want to know your opinions in my situation.

 

Gf for 3 years, lived together for 1.5 years. (she moved out last month) Its been 1 year since my ex dumped me, and 4 months since she started dating our officemate (who is currently at leave for 6 months).

 

My question is:

 

How do i stop analyzing the breadcrumbs she throws at me that i hope is so positive, but is completely insignificant for her?

 

How do i stop wondering who she's texting/chatting with everytime i see her typing on her phone--and how i notice her smile whenever she's texting?

 

How can i stop wondering how she's doing completely fine without me while im missing her terribly?

 

Everytime i hear her talk in the office, i find it really attractive. I feel as if im hearing her voice louder than anyone else's. And seeing the way she looks and dresses everyday keeps me in love with her.

 

How do i escape this emotional prison? she's due to leave work in two months, but it feels so long, i dont think i can handle it.

[kendahke]

You have to realize that you're doing all of this to yourself.

 

You can choose to stop analyzing the breadcrumbs she throws at you that you hope is so positive, but is completely insignificant for her. See it for what it is: manipulative and negative.

 

You can choose to stop wondering who she's texting/chatting with everytime you see her typing on her phone--and stop noticing her smile whenever she's texting BY NOT PAYING ANY ATTENTION TO WHAT SHE'S DOING. Quit making her the center of your universe.

 

You can choose to stop wondering how she's doing completely fine without you while you're missing her terribly by doing something to occupy your mind. There is plenty you can do to distract yourself: you're just choosing to not do that but instead, wallow in self pity because she's not with you anymore.

 

You escape the emotional prison by letting yourself out of it. No one is keeping you in there but you. Use your earbuds to listen to music on your cellphone if you don't want to hear her voice. Take advantage of doing work in your office that doesn't require you to be in close proximity to her.

 

Above all else, make it your personal policy to NEVER ISHT WHERE YOU EAT!!! Stop dating women you work with because THIS is the exact reason why it is a bad idea.

[SethDamien]

Yes i agree. When i first posted this, i was desperate and needy. Now, im just needy... but i lost all urges to contact her, so i got that going for me.

 

Our office is male-dominated and she's the only girl working in our department.

She's always the center of attention but not in a flirty way, just the usual arm-punching, teasing way with the other guys.

 

two of my workmates actually confessed to me of having feelings for her (and one seems keen in teasing her ALOT and reeks begging for her attenton) so make it 3 guys already.

 

She's always so happy, cheerful. She doesnt seem to be affected in any way with our distance while I'm still reeling from the pain.

 

I unfriended her on social media, stacked all her belongings and mementos in a box hidden away somewhere, blocked her number, and erased every trace of her, (even changed my ring tone and alarm).

 

How do i pull this off? on my break days, im happy spending time with friends, finally having me-time at evenings. But when i work, its always back to square one and my heart pounds like crazy each time im at the office. And the pain is unbearable.

 

I know what i should be doing, Ignore her, act professional, focus on my work, etc, but faking it is really hard and its taking its toll on me. I take 5 minute breaks every hour just to cry it all out in the comfort room everyday. The only solution i could think of is that she'd decide to change jobs, or i'd leave myself. I want to be in a position where she's COMPLETELY out of my vision and out of my life.

Edited March 21, 2015 by SethDamien