Ashley S Posted February 24, 2015 Posted February 24, 2015 Hi! Sorry I forgot what fake name I concealed his identity with, but it's the one that I wrote a letter to, and I haven't spoken to him, but he asked my brother recently "How's your crazy sister? What she's been up to?" Well this made me furious. I go to class, come home, and seriously Rick (I'll just call him that, again I apologize if I used a different name in my previous posts) But Rick was there and he had a pillow over his head, and was laughing, and my brother was too, and I immediately knew so I went into the other room, and I ignored him because I was in utter shock that he was unexpectedly here. So, I didn't engage with him, but he didn't really say anything to me. So, I left because I didn't want to see him, and I texted my brother saying "Wow really? That was really ****ed up of you to have Rick over there!" I was with my friend, and my friend asked me what was wrong, so I told him, I NEVER TOLD HIM TO TEXT MY BROTHER OR TO GET INVOLVED! THAT IS NOT WHAT I WANTED! My friend texts my brother saying "You're a little bitch, how dare you have that Rick guy over. You and that Rick guy are probably sucking each others dicks!" I yelled at my friend for getting involved and saying something immaturely. He also said he would fight him. Then Rick texts me saying this "Ashley, please have your friend talk **** to me in person rather than text to your brother about me or simply don't do it at all. Grow up and get over it. Always so dramatic. By the way...I am moving in. Me and your brother are building bunk beds." He thinks he's funny, but how was I dramatic? I didn't speak a word to him, and I left, and spoke to my brother about it through text? Was I wrong in this situation? Also he labeled me as a stalker, and a weirdo, so if I am those things, then why would he come around? He said I was unattractive, crazy, stalker, psycho, and weirdo, and yet I'm the "dramatic" one? And I should "let it go"? Seriously? What do you think about all of this? I think it's so bizarre, because I am not trying to be in his life, he's the one invading mine, but yet I'm the "crazy stalker"? Makes no sense.
LoveRefreshed Posted February 24, 2015 Posted February 24, 2015 Your life reminds me of some backwoods hickerbilly drama, something I might see on TLC. You always have these ridiculous posts filled with childish things. The whole situation is immature, whether or not it was in your control and if you feel responsible. Somehow, you invite this into your life. If you do not like the level of maturity in your life, maybe you should consider at the age of 21 (you told us once), why do you still live with your parents? The best way to deal with this immaturity is to ignore it and do not play into it by getting all defensive, texting and what not. You started it with texting your brother. Next time, actually leave the situation. You did physically, but by texting, you are still playing a role in it. The friends you have around.. anytime someone has to say "I will fight him" is immature. All of them are sources of drama that feed the fire in your life. No real man needs to declare "he will fight" someone, only boys do that. In the end, all of your posts are like this. When you're the common factor in all of this, it is time for some internal reflection. 15
bolase Posted February 24, 2015 Posted February 24, 2015 When he says you should get over it, that's what you should do - distance is ideal but if your brother and him hang out, you're going to have to accept his presence in your house occasionally as long as you live at home I guess. Focus on things that make you happy - you didn't need to express any feelings to your friend, or to your brother. You can't change anything. The best thing for you to do is carry on as if you don't care, and one day you won't!
ExpatInItaly Posted February 24, 2015 Posted February 24, 2015 Your life reminds me of some backwoods hickerbilly drama, something I might see on TLC. You always have these ridiculous posts filled with childish things. The whole situation is immature, whether or not it was in your control and if you feel responsible. Somehow, you invite this into your life. If you do not like the level of maturity in your life, maybe you should consider at the age of 21 (you told us once), why do you still live with your parents? The best way to deal with this immaturity is to ignore it and do not play into it by getting all defensive, texting and what not. You started it with texting your brother. Next time, actually leave the situation. You did physically, but by texting, you are still playing a role in it. The friends you have around.. anytime someone has to say "I will fight him" is immature. All of them are sources of drama that feed the fire in your life. No real man needs to declare "he will fight" someone, only boys do that. In the end, all of your posts are like this. When you're the common factor in all of this, it is time for some internal reflection. Ashley, please read the bolded parts. There is a very obvious pattern here, and it's very clearly making you unhappy. The people you're surrounding yourself with are seriously lacking in maturity (and I'm referring to this friend of yours who texted your brother) The energy you're drawing into your life is incredibly dramatic, juvenile and not healthy for you. You need to really take a step back and ask yourself how you're contributing to your own unhappiness. Yes, this "loser" is just that. And that's not in your control. But your reactions to him and the people you do choose to associate with are in your control. 1
Author Ashley S Posted February 24, 2015 Author Posted February 24, 2015 Your life reminds me of some backwoods hickerbilly drama, something I might see on TLC. You always have these ridiculous posts filled with childish things. The whole situation is immature, whether or not it was in your control and if you feel responsible. Somehow, you invite this into your life. If you do not like the level of maturity in your life, maybe you should consider at the age of 21 (you told us once), why do you still live with your parents? The best way to deal with this immaturity is to ignore it and do not play into it by getting all defensive, texting and what not. You started it with texting your brother. Next time, actually leave the situation. You did physically, but by texting, you are still playing a role in it. The friends you have around.. anytime someone has to say "I will fight him" is immature. All of them are sources of drama that feed the fire in your life. No real man needs to declare "he will fight" someone, only boys do that. In the end, all of your posts are like this. When you're the common factor in all of this, it is time for some internal reflection. I agree that it was immature. I yelled at him to not get involved, and I wasn't expecting him too because I am allowed to tell my friend if I am in distress. I was confiding in him by telling him why I was upset, but I didn't expect or want him to get involved. I am upset how everything went down, and I texted my brother because I thought my brother can give me a rational explanation through texting about why he's there at our house and what not. I thought by me calling would make things worse, that is why I texted my brother because I thought it could be more discreet, but my brother tells Rick, and creates even more drama. I know I played a role in this, but I see what you mean. Thank you for your insight.
Author Ashley S Posted February 24, 2015 Author Posted February 24, 2015 When he says you should get over it, that's what you should do - distance is ideal but if your brother and him hang out, you're going to have to accept his presence in your house occasionally as long as you live at home I guess. Focus on things that make you happy - you didn't need to express any feelings to your friend, or to your brother. You can't change anything. The best thing for you to do is carry on as if you don't care, and one day you won't! My motto is just stay out of my life, and my presence. My brother and him aren't even good friends, I was friends with Rick first, and Rick talked smack on my brother many times, and yet he wants to be "best buds" with him all of a sudden? Makes no sense. I just wish my family had my back, and wouldn't hang around him, after what he said to me, and about me. Insulting me and what not. I just don't want him around, period! I will carry on like I don't care, that's good advice, and I will do that because he's just a sore loser. Thank you for your insight.
beach Posted February 24, 2015 Posted February 24, 2015 Your brother betrayed you by bringing him over. Can you move out on your own? That way you wouldn't have people living with you that betray you... 2
smackie9 Posted February 24, 2015 Posted February 24, 2015 Your "friend" is more than a friend....he has a romantic interest in you that's why he stepped in and threatened the guy. You were the damsel in distress and he was being the shining knight to score points with you......showing you he will protect you. If don't think so, then it's going way over your head because I can sure see it. As for your brother, obviouly he takes some joy in getting you all riled up and you took the bait hook line and sinker. If you want things like this to stop in your life, stop responding or reacting to it. Stop being part of the drama, learn to just walk away and ingore those who cause trouble.....don't even talk about it to anyone. 2
smackie9 Posted February 24, 2015 Posted February 24, 2015 Remeber that old chest nut...."Talk to the hand, because only the hand will understand....." use it next time. 1
preraph Posted February 24, 2015 Posted February 24, 2015 I think Rick is using your brother to have contact with you and he's the stalker. Your brother is a dink for letting him. Can't you get out from where your brother lives so you don't have do deal with it? 1
Zahara Posted February 24, 2015 Posted February 24, 2015 I agree that it was immature. I yelled at him to not get involved, and I wasn't expecting him too because I am allowed to tell my friend if I am in distress. I was confiding in him by telling him why I was upset, but I didn't expect or want him to get involved. I am upset how everything went down, and I texted my brother because I thought my brother can give me a rational explanation through texting about why he's there at our house and what not. I thought by me calling would make things worse, that is why I texted my brother because I thought it could be more discreet, but my brother tells Rick, and creates even more drama. I know I played a role in this, but I see what you mean. Thank you for your insight. Ashley, remember the time when you were at the club with your guy friend and you were talking to your friend about Rick and your friend went up to Rick and started trouble. You mentioned that you didn't want your friend to do that and you told him not to but he went ahead anyway. Well, this is no different. If you friend (not sure if he's the same guy) can't control himself, you need to stop confiding in him. And why would your brother have a rational explanation when he's all along condoned Rick talking smack about you. Do you actually think your brother is going to suddenly have the maturity to do the right thing? Moving forward, no more engaging. You're feeding the monster. And stop confiding in friends that have no ability to listen and be there for you rather bang on their chest and start drama. The next time Rick or your brother are around, just ignore. When they know they can get a rise out of you, they'll prod you even more. Stop getting angry and bent out of shape. Understand what you're dealing with and it'll get much easier to cast these clowns aside. 1
Diezel Posted February 24, 2015 Posted February 24, 2015 Like I said in another thread of yours: Get new friends. And family. 1
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted February 24, 2015 Posted February 24, 2015 Reading this was very surreal... Didn't know friends/family like that existed.. o.O 1
Author Ashley S Posted February 24, 2015 Author Posted February 24, 2015 Your "friend" is more than a friend....he has a romantic interest in you that's why he stepped in and threatened the guy. You were the damsel in distress and he was being the shining knight to score points with you......showing you he will protect you. If don't think so, then it's going way over your head because I can sure see it. As for your brother, obviouly he takes some joy in getting you all riled up and you took the bait hook line and sinker. If you want things like this to stop in your life, stop responding or reacting to it. Stop being part of the drama, learn to just walk away and ingore those who cause trouble.....don't even talk about it to anyone. Oh...me and my friend are really close, we are best friends, so maybe he just feels like I am his sister. I don't know, maybe you're right about the romantic interest. Yeah my brother is an *******. I can't stand him, and I am just going to do what you said. Thank you for the advice.
Author Ashley S Posted February 24, 2015 Author Posted February 24, 2015 I think Rick is using your brother to have contact with you and he's the stalker. Your brother is a dink for letting him. Can't you get out from where your brother lives so you don't have do deal with it? Exactly preraph! I said that he seems more like the stalker. I haven't called, seen, or had any contact with him ever since I sent him that letter. I completely washed him away from my life. I saw him unexpectedly at the bar on Christmas Eve, but I left right away. Ever since though, he has contacted my brother, and my dad asking if I am "mad", and how I am. Like why do you care since I am a crazy, ugly stalker that creeps you out? He also said he wouldn't step foot in my house ever again because I "creep" him out so bad. My oh my! This is so laughable. He is the one that's the stalker because I don't bother him, nor do I care what goes on in his life. The only time I care is when he's in my presence. When he's in my house that is when I care because he's invading in on my life. All I want is for him to just leave me and my family alone, that is all I want. He's the creep for sure. Also, I am working on moving out. I still have to save more money. Thank you for commenting, and for your insight.
Author Ashley S Posted February 24, 2015 Author Posted February 24, 2015 Ashley, remember the time when you were at the club with your guy friend and you were talking to your friend about Rick and your friend went up to Rick and started trouble. You mentioned that you didn't want your friend to do that and you told him not to but he went ahead anyway. Well, this is no different. If you friend (not sure if he's the same guy) can't control himself, you need to stop confiding in him. And why would your brother have a rational explanation when he's all along condoned Rick talking smack about you. Do you actually think your brother is going to suddenly have the maturity to do the right thing? Moving forward, no more engaging. You're feeding the monster. And stop confiding in friends that have no ability to listen and be there for you rather bang on their chest and start drama. The next time Rick or your brother are around, just ignore. When they know they can get a rise out of you, they'll prod you even more. Stop getting angry and bent out of shape. Understand what you're dealing with and it'll get much easier to cast these clowns aside. You're right! I was angry so I wanted to express my anger to my brother about his betrayal. That is why I don't talk about my problems, and the people I do choose to talk about my problems to turn around and do crap like this. I really don't want fights, or drama. I didn't know my friend would go and attack him at the bar, and this is a different friend that texted my brother. I didn't know he would do that either. I thought I could talk about what's bothering me to my friends and not have them cause any more drama. I know now not to literally speak to anyone because they'll just cause more drama. Thank you for commenting, and your straightforwardness! I am not being sarcastic, I am being for real. You are right.
smackie9 Posted February 24, 2015 Posted February 24, 2015 Tip: when you are a pretty girl, guys who are friends with you have an ivested interest in you sexually or romantically or both. If you offered to have sex with any of them, they will take you up on your offer. The majority of young guys don't hang out with girls they are not attracted to. 1
preraph Posted February 24, 2015 Posted February 24, 2015 Trying to get the sympathy of your family and friends is a classic stalker move. Back before people got more knowledgeable about how dangerous these types can be, they called it "lovesick" and coddled them. They would even get the mother of the girl that doesn't want them to guilt her into going out with him because he's "lovesick," as if that's a good thing. Any law-enforcement person should see right through that tactic and see if for what it is, so keep notes of all that. And if your family and friends can't stop betraying you, you need to get away from all of them, because they're IGNORANT and they're putting you in potential danger. 1
Author Ashley S Posted February 25, 2015 Author Posted February 25, 2015 Tip: when you are a pretty girl, guys who are friends with you have an ivested interest in you sexually or romantically or both. If you offered to have sex with any of them, they will take you up on your offer. The majority of young guys don't hang out with girls they are not attracted to. Thank you for the compliment! but he doesn't act sexual with me, he did at first, but now we are just "best friends", as he likes to call it. We are just cool with each other lol, but I do see what you mean. Thank you!
Moy Posted February 25, 2015 Posted February 25, 2015 Thank you for the compliment! but he doesn't act sexual with me, he did at first, but now we are just "best friends", as he likes to call it. We are just cool with each other lol, but I do see what you mean. Thank you! Like a lion in the bushes, the friendzoned male waits for his next opportunity... 2
Author Ashley S Posted February 25, 2015 Author Posted February 25, 2015 Trying to get the sympathy of your family and friends is a classic stalker move. Back before people got more knowledgeable about how dangerous these types can be, they called it "lovesick" and coddled them. They would even get the mother of the girl that doesn't want them to guilt her into going out with him because he's "lovesick," as if that's a good thing. Any law-enforcement person should see right through that tactic and see if for what it is, so keep notes of all that. And if your family and friends can't stop betraying you, you need to get away from all of them, because they're IGNORANT and they're putting you in potential danger. Oh my! SO weird how you say that! Because he was talking to my mother and, my father, and my brother. He was saying to my father that he just "says things", and he actually told my brother he has "short term memory", lmfao!! Hahaha, I can't believe my brother believed that. He is making up excuses, and justifying what he said about me. He is trying to schmooze my dad, and it worked because he's working for my dad now, which I am very angry about. I thought my dad would have my back, and be like "Be gone from our lives, I'm not hiring you." But no...my dad hired him, so now this creep is probably feeling so victorious. I am probably going to see him more often now, and I all I wanted was just for him to be away from me, for good! Like, I don't care what goes on in his life, I don't care if he became a millionaire, do it all, just stay out of my life in meantime. I don't understand why that is so complicated? But preraph, you are incredibly smart, and it makes me weary now because I didn't know it was a stalker trait. Good to know this information! Thank you for the advice, and wisdom.
Author Ashley S Posted February 25, 2015 Author Posted February 25, 2015 Like a lion in the bushes, the friendzoned male waits for his next opportunity... Hahaha.... lets hope that's not the case,
Author Ashley S Posted March 6, 2015 Author Posted March 6, 2015 Hi, so everyone knows about "Rick" the loser that insulted me, and my brother still hangs out with him. I wanted people's insight on this because I find this really strange. Rick has been coming around, and I came into my house and to my surprise he was there once again. I got mad and I called him a "parasite", and I left. I know that was childish, but I got so angry that he was at my house. So, when I left he was talking to my mother. He said "I just want to be friends with her. But I can see that Ashley will never be close to anyone. She'll always have party buddies. She'll always have people because she's nice and social, but she'll cut people out." Then he text me saying "I am not a parasite." "Seriously, Ashley don't hold a grudge forever, I am constantly doing dumb **** and you always get so offended. I'm sorry. I'm not asking to be your bff, but I really do like you as a person and don't want you to think otherwise or that I don't have your back. Hopefully you can let go of this, and we can at least be civil." WTF? He's the one that said I was "creepy", and a "stalker". So I didn't respond to his text, but of course I saw him again the next day. Because he delivers pizza lol, and he was delivering my dad's pizza. He came over and FORCED a hug on me, and he kept saying "Am I still a parasite?" I said "I have to talk to you" he said "I can't right now. I am on the job." I said "Ok, then later?" He said "Call me" I never did. Now my dad says to me "Rick said you guys are friends again, and you guys are talking." I said "No that's not true! I am not friends with him! I wanted to talk to him. Doesn't mean I am friends with him or I want to be." He has yet to contact me. What the hell? What is the point of that? Like in his delusional head I am "friends" with him, but yet he doesn't contact me, so what is the point in being "friends"? I want your opinion on this. I find this so strange because if anything, I thought I was doing him a favor!
Zahara Posted March 6, 2015 Posted March 6, 2015 Ashley, you've posted time and time again with drama, and most times drama you inflict on yourself. Time and time again the consensus is to ignore the drama and stay composed and stay above the people that bring you down. Time and time again you respond with, "I did XYZ and I know it was wrong but I was...." Over and over again. I know and but -- standard responses over and over. And why in heavens name have you engaged with someone to the point of now asking what his need for friendship means when he's treated you poorly? You shouldn't want to have anything to do with him. He's insulted you and mocked you. And you engage? Where is your dignity? It's exhausting because you seem to have no ability to act maturely or even handle yourself with boundaries and self-control. You voluntarily run into a brick walk wide eyed and then ask why it hurts. 8
Author Ashley S Posted March 6, 2015 Author Posted March 6, 2015 Ashley, you've posted time and time again with drama, and most times drama you inflict on yourself. Time and time again the consensus is to ignore the drama and stay composed and stay above the people that bring you down. Time and time again you respond with, "I did XYZ and I know it was wrong but I was...." Over and over again. I know and but -- standard responses over and over. And why in heavens name have you engaged with someone to the point of now asking what his need for friendship means when he's treated you poorly? You shouldn't want to have anything to do with him. He's insulted you and mocked you. And you engage? Where is your dignity? It's exhausting because you seem to have no ability to act maturely or even handle yourself with boundaries and self-control. You voluntarily run into a brick walk wide eyed and then ask why it hurts. I understand what you mean, and I should have worded it better. I don't mean "why?" as in I am looking for the definite answer, I should have just said "What do think about this?" Honestly, I just want people's insight because I find it myself to be creepy. I won't be friends, and I don't want to be friends with him. I just find it weird that he is so eagerly trying to be friends with me, then I don't hear from him, and he is the one that said I was "creepy", and all of that. It's weird to me. Like, why does he want to be friends, but never talk? Or engage with me in any other way? I was wondering if anybody else experienced this, or knew about this. You have good points, and I am not disregarding what you are saying, but I really do find this all to be strange.
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