not-a-drive-by Posted February 24, 2015 Posted February 24, 2015 Hi guys I haven't been here for a while and now I'm back. I need a place to vent and get some advice. I have been in a relationship with my current bf for around 1.5 years. Since he works nearby, he would come over after work and spend time with me and then leave around 10.30 to 11pm. And we usually spend the weekends together. It's become a bit of a routine. While he is here though, he is either texting or surfing (so body is here but mind is elsewhere). So that's the background. Recently, he has to work 2 days in the city. so he'd just visit the other days. He has started going to gym as well, so I see him for about 1.5 hours on the weekdays. So last week, he was going to catch up with his friend on Friday, something planned on Saturday with another friend and Sunday with a group of friends. I told him that I was upset that for the whole week, I've only seen him once. He then tells me "it won't be all day and will be seeing you afterwards....i shoved it in the morning so that we can have the afternoon...I'm not getting up at the crack of dawn to go for no reason <.<". Sunday comes along, it's past 1pm, he's not here. No text or calls. At 2.40pm, he asks if I want to go out for dinner with his friends. I said no, and reminded him what I said the other day (I really just wanted to spend at least the afternoon with him). He says "I take it as a no then". He never came over that afternoon and he did not contact me at all that night to see how I was going. I found out he went to the dinner that night too. I was extremely angry and upset that he blew me off. I'd become his backup plan. I couldn't sleep that night, so I fired away an email (11pm). I told him how upset I was and how he puts his friends before me. This is not the first time it's happened. If I say no to attending something, he'd go by himself without asking whether I'd like him to stay with me or not (we were on a getaway with friends that time, and I was feeling unwell. He left me by myself). He replied at 6.30pm the following night because he needs to prep for his interview this Thursday and instead of getting an apology, he says that he doesn't want to lose his friends and how they are important etc. He says he has lost touch with a number of friends that he used to be close with, and has not seen a bunch of other social groups (computing, photography, friends of other friends) - almost sounded like his whole FB list. Note: whenever he has a catchup with friends, I don't object. Now it sounds like I've been taking up too much of his time and need to make an appointment to see him. Am I wrong to be upset? What should I do now? I don't want the relationship to go down the drain. I'm trying really hard to communicate (one of the things I wasn't good at in my last relationship). It's Tuesday now, I haven't heard from him today and he probably won't be coming over either. I know he has a job interview on Thursday, but not even a text or call (he never calls anyway) to try to cheer me up? It doesn't take long to send a text. My friend says it takes time to digest these things, but it's making me more upset the longer he takes to reply.
Buddhist Posted February 24, 2015 Posted February 24, 2015 Get a handle on your insecurity. It's just one big twisty thing in this post. There is nothing you can do to make your boyfriend be present with you. As you've discovered he will do whatever he wants anyway. Not amount of talking will change this because he's decided his social life is more important than his relationship. Now that you know there is nothing you can do. Go and do something that makes you happy, forget about him for a week or two. Don't txt, facebook stalk and make yourself miserable. Go and do something to forget all about him. Learn to have fun without him. Once you do that he will either.... 1. Decide to be around you more often. In which case yay, for you kicking your insecurities in the guts. 2. Bugger off completely, in which case yay for you emotionally preparing yourself for the inevitable you are now going to get over it much faster and can meet someone better soon. The moment you give up believing you can control this situation is the moment the anxiety will take a back seat. 2
Author not-a-drive-by Posted February 24, 2015 Author Posted February 24, 2015 So I shouldn't be expecting at least an apology from him for brushing me off? He can have his social life over me and I should be ok? Option 2 would be the ultimate last resort. We recently bought a place together, but not moving in yet. We'll be renting out the place to help with the mortgage. I love him, and really don't want to just walk away . Do I really have no choice?
StalwartMind Posted February 24, 2015 Posted February 24, 2015 While you wrote a good bit, it's honestly just difficult to tell what exactly should be the course of action. What it comes down to is your arrangement with him and how you personally feel. Obviously you are not enjoying things as they currently are, I wouldn't care much for it either but you will find people who are on the other side of the table too. It's possible that "currently" you are not a great match, this can change but even that has other dependencies. One thing I do want to point out is that it's worrisome that he is disconnected when you are spending time together. If I only had a few hours a day with my partner I'd be wanting to make the most of them. Sitting and looking on my phone and be absent minded is pretty much equal to not being there at all. I'm not trying to paint a negative picture here, because as always it takes two parts to make a relationship work. If communication is still not your strongest side, then it becomes even more of a challenge when your partner doesn't really care much to attempt it either. I get where he is coming from with wanting to maintain his relationship with his friends, however you need to balance your time between all that you value, that is if you intend to keep all/most parts involved happy. This is increasingly difficult if you have a lot of things on your agenda. The one thing I will say too that doesn't fix anything but that is worth considering is that, you should be careful not to come off as needy or demanding, especially if has a lot of things going on currently like with his job interview. For whatever it's worth there is nothing you wrote that sounds anywhere near crazy or ridiculous. It seems like you both could really use some time off, no technology crap (yes i love technology as much as the next person), but just pure you and him time with no distractions. This is pretty important to have if you wish to have a longstanding relationship, you both owe it to yourself to go for what you desire. So as to if you should feel upset and how to proceed, I guess you have many options but considering his behavior and possibly stressful schedule, I'd see if I could plan some good time with him where you really get to relax and talk and nurture your relationship some.
Buddhist Posted February 24, 2015 Posted February 24, 2015 My post wasn't really about what you should expect from him. It was more about the simple fact that other people can't be controlled. If this guy (and I don't know him) wants to act like an arse, he will. What I'm suggesting is that you take care of your emotional well being because frankly I don't think he has any intention of doing so. Regardless of what happens between both of you from this point on, you being in control of your emotional state will benefit you. Help yourself off that emotional rollercoaster where what he does or doesn't do, controls you and how you feel. From that place of strength, everything else can be negotiated. But if you are constantly upset about what he does and you tell him so there will be no opportunity for any negotiation. He will pull your strings, and keep you off balance until you do something rash.....like walk away from this property and lose your deposit.
Author not-a-drive-by Posted February 24, 2015 Author Posted February 24, 2015 (edited) Thank you for your thoughts Buddhist and StalwartMind. I think I've lost confidence in having relationships. And I probably shouldn't have made such a huge commitment and purchased the property with him. I've been trying really hard not to make the same mistakes as my previous relationship. Communication was one of the downfalls being an introvert, and I'm working really hard to communicate with him. But it seems like he is even worse at communicating in relationships . I've tried not to be that needy gf and demand to see him everyday. I don't make him come over each day, he does that on his own free will. If he wants to meet his friends, I don't say no. I don't know what I'm doing wrong again . I'm just so disappointed in myself to let it get to this stage. I understand his hectic schedule this week, and it's not like I'm bombarding him with texts, phone calls or messages demanding him to respond. I will try to wait it out til after Thursday, but it's really getting to me. Now it seems like a burden - walking away means I will lose $67k and setllement is next week, which means the mortgage will start. This is the first big fight we've had in the 1.5 years . And I can't just make a rash decision and walk away now. Edited February 24, 2015 by not-a-drive-by
d0nnivain Posted February 24, 2015 Posted February 24, 2015 You are being unreasonable. He invited you out with his friends. He was trying to join two aspects of his life together but you made it a contest: the friends or me. My personal philosophy is when somebody demands I chose them or something else, I always go with the something else on principle because the other person was being unreasonable & demanding that it be all or nothing. He does not owe you an apology. You owe him one. He said he would spend time with you on the weekend & he tried to do that. You turned him down. His decision not to sit & stare at you while you were unwell while you were on a getaway with friends was reasonable. If you are sick, he doesn't have to nurse you. Personally, I would have rather been alone to sleep. In fact I got sick on my honeymoon & told my husband to go on the siteseeing tour we planned. There was absolutely no sense in losing the price of both tickets or for him to sit in a hotel room while I alternated between sleeping & puking. Because you have intertwined yourselves with this house you are purchasing, you better swallow your pride & call him. Tell him you are sorry for overreacting and ask him if you can talk about how to prevent this problem from recurring. Now that you two have this house, will the friends we welcome? Does that solve your dilemma? He's not trying to pick them over you but the more unpleasant you are to be around, the more he will pull away. Everybody needs to nurture all the relationships in their lives but there are only so many hours in a day. 11
Vintage79 Posted February 24, 2015 Posted February 24, 2015 Agree with DOnnivain - you're being ridiculous. For starters, it's important to maintain friendships outside of a relationship: A) He's trying to maintain a small network of friends (which is good) B) He invited you to come with and YOU said no - he was trying to be inclusive, and you rejected the idea - why? Insecurities, possessiveness, neediness, clinginess - pick poison, but none of those characteristics are attractive. You're effectively telling him that he can't have a life outside of you and that anything and everything about you needs to be prioritized over everything else. In reality, he is coming to see you on a very regular basis, and sees you likely much more frequently than any of his friends (i.e. he is prioritizing you over his friends), and when he wants to go do something he invites you with...I don't see any problems with this behavior what-so-ever. So yes, you are absolutely in the wrong about being upset over him going out with his friends and you then went and projected some very unattractive attributes...you're digging yourself into a hole...if you want to keep the relationship, hopefully the hole isn't too deep. If you can't get over his, "there in body, but not mind" when he visits, that's a totally different problem/issue and something that you can either deal with or not (i.e. stay together or break-up - but obviously tell him how you feel about it in a relatively strong way). 2
Honeybunnies Posted February 24, 2015 Posted February 24, 2015 I understand why you'd be upset - however this is not something that should ruin your relationship. You seem dependent on him. I also have to ask, how much free time do you have that you can sit around and wait for him? I can think of 20 things I could've been doing while he was out to keep me busy. It's important to keep your friends and socialize outside your relationship - he even invited you! What about your friends? Why can't you spend time with them while he's with his? 1
Zahara Posted February 24, 2015 Posted February 24, 2015 (edited) I think you're unreasonable, needy and demanding. I don't believe he needs to apologize. He comes by after work and spends time with you, then drives home late, and does spend his weekends with you. You mentioned it's become a routine so he does put time and effort into spending time with you. Then he decides to make plans with his friends for the weekend and you pout? Don't you have friends to go out with, a movie to go see, maybe some shopping, dinner with your girlfriends, trip to the spa -- things your can indulge yourself in other than in him? And in trying to compromise and put in time with you he suggests Sunday dinner and you huff at his compromise and passively call yourself backup plan. Then you get upset that he didn't bow and appease you, and that he went ahead and made other plans since you didn't want to have dinner with him. He compromised with you and tried to take you out to dinner but if you weren't having it your way, then it was no way. Then you play passive aggresive and ignore him hoping maybe he will give in. It only backfires -- hence he went out with his friends. You noted you have communication issues -- you need to work on that. You're needy in that you require his every attention. If you are unwell, get to bed and get some rest. He doesn't need to be there to nurse you back to health. It's one thing to bring you some soup but another to sit there and hold your hand through the night. Personally, I prefer being left alone when I am sick. Now you want him to cheer you up. You're wondering why he is silent. It's draining to have to feel that someone is in constant need for attention and I'm sure he feels you were unreasonable, rather than him being wrong. You really need to have a life outside of your relationship. He does and he wants to keep other areas in his life thriving and there is nothing wrong with that. It seems like you have grown accustomed to the "routine" and it's left this relationship being more of a crutch for you. Edited February 24, 2015 by Zahara 9
kylle Posted February 24, 2015 Posted February 24, 2015 Well...I think it's not unreasonable for you to expect a least a 'how are you?' text once a day, if he's not doing that. He probably doesn't give this much importance as you do, but if it really matters to you, talk to him. Speak up and say that you'd like at least one message to see how is he doing and stuff. I bet he just don't overthink this, and really doesn't think it matters this much to you. Now, I think you acted unreasonably when HE INVITED you to spend time with him and his friends, you said NO and then became angry because of this. He doesn't owe you an apology at all, you do. He even explained to you that he doesn't want to lose contact with his friends, and one weekend over all those he's expent with you is that much to ask? If you build expectations in another person, you will be disappointed because no person follows a script you just made up in your mind.
kendahke Posted February 24, 2015 Posted February 24, 2015 I think that you need to find something to do with your time other than live for your boyfriend to come over and entertain you. He's showing you that your relationship is a part of his life: you're showing him that your relationship is your whole life and that may be starting to become a little too much for him. Most weeks, he's at your place every day. Every weekend, he's with you. But every now and then, he wants to socialize with his friends and you freak out, as if he's abandoned you out in the wild somewhere. I'm really not seeing the issue outside of you being way too needy on his company. Surely, you have interests? You didn't spring to life when 1 1/2 years ago when he came on the scene? If you want to destroy this relationship, keep nagging him. It only serves to give him reason to do what he's currently doing. He cannot be the center of your universe--that is not what a healthy relationship is about. You need time to go hang out with your friends and do your interests and so does he. Give him a reason to want to come around you. So far, your actions are giving him the reason to seek out his friends.
Atheism Era Posted February 24, 2015 Posted February 24, 2015 Give him some time to clear his mind, i think he's just bored, not bored of you of course, other stuff in his life, causing anxiety, forcing him to be less caring, and you feel that he's selfish, well he's not selfish, and he doesn't want to be like that with you, he's trying hard to get over the tough time he's going through, but it'll pass, give him some time, men's brain chemicals unintentionally just sometimes **** up in relationships. And let me tell you this, you are not insecure, actually he's the one starting to feel a little insecure, forcing him to avoid you unintentionally, so start making him feel more secure with you, let him know that he's always the only man in your mind all day no matter what, and always tell him that you love him a lot no matter what, even if you feel that you want to put a knife in his chest, remind him that you still love him, and nothing will change that, tell him i will always be hanging round your neck even if you hate me Try that, and don't expect a change in a few days, no, give him time and keep your behavior towards him always lovely even in the darkest days. Oh and, don't complain a lot like keeping on telling him you are avoiding me etc, even if you feel like that, don't complain, tell him it's okay i can wait you for a thousand years because you are worth it
preraph Posted February 24, 2015 Posted February 24, 2015 You are too demanding. You act like you're his boss and he has to to what you want. He invited you to dinner with his friends and you were a big baby and said no because it wasn't your number one choice. You certainly can't blame him to then cancel his plans with them to come home to you, who's done nothing but nag him about giving you more time. Who wants to spend more time with someone who's never happy, never satisfied, never stops nagging wanting more? You're out of control and you're in the middle right now of creating what you fear most, which is him slipping away from you. Because you're not fun to be around. He can't make you happy without giving up everything else he wants to do besides you! No one will do that for you. Get used to it. 2
Eternal Sunshine Posted February 24, 2015 Posted February 24, 2015 Wow, this whole post made me cringe. You are incredibly needy and insecure and if I was in his place, I would dump you. Poor guy. If he went out with his friends and never invited you along, you would have a point. But this? He basically used to spend all the time off work with you, hanging out at home. How freaking boring. Now he (rightly) misses his friends, invites you along and you are pissed that he doesn't choose yet another night at home with you? Wow. Just wow. Keep this up and you will lose him. 1
Author not-a-drive-by Posted February 24, 2015 Author Posted February 24, 2015 For all those who have run me over like a school bus: * It was a group outing, I chose not to go because it was a physical activity that requires you to be fit. I do not have that stamina to do that activity, so I did not go. Please remember, he did say he was going to spend the afternoon with me. After I said I wasn't going to the dinner, he did not text back and say at least, "I'm sorry, I won't be seeing you tonight. I will be going to dinner with my friends". He could have at least done that. He did not cancel our meeting or let me know what is going on. For that, I do not feel I am the one to apologise. How would you feel if you were meeting with a friend and they never turned up - not a text or call to say that they will not be meeting you. And I'm not going to let this be an acceptable behaviour, even those who think it's okay. If he does not have the decency to say that he is cancelling plans with me, that is not showing me any respect. I'm a backup plan where he can come and go as he pleases. * Sure, he comes over every night for about an hour or so. But he is focused on his phone. I rather him not come over every night if that is the case. * Eternal Sunshine: If every time we meet has to be an occasion, then I rather not be in the relationship. I did ask him to try out a dessert place on the Sunday night, so it was not like we were going to just sit at home. * Beach house: I would have appreciated that he at least offered to stay back. * I'm not nagging him. I could be bombarding him with texts and calls these past few days and be demanding an answer at the crack of dawn, but I haven't. Instead, he is giving me the silent treatment.
CrystalShine2011 Posted February 24, 2015 Posted February 24, 2015 I can understand what you are going through - I think any woman who could only see her man once a week would be a bit upset! But, despite that, I think perhaps taking a step back would be best? Give him some space, apologize in a concise way, and just try to stay busy. It sounds like there is a future there, but give him a little space.
Zahara Posted February 24, 2015 Posted February 24, 2015 (edited) * It was a group outing, I chose not to go because it was a physical activity that requires you to be fit. I do not have that stamina to do that activity, so I did not go. Please remember, he did say he was going to spend the afternoon with me. After I said I wasn't going to the dinner, he did not text back and say at least, "I'm sorry, I won't be seeing you tonight. I will be going to dinner with my friends". He could have at least done that. He did not cancel our meeting or let me know what is going on. For that, I do not feel I am the one to apologise. How would you feel if you were meeting with a friend and they never turned up - not a text or call to say that they will not be meeting you. So you couldn't go because you couldn't participate. Make your own plans with your friends with activities you can do. And so what if he said he was going to spend the afternoon with you. Sometimes plans change. He still called you at 2:40PM (still in the afternoon) to ask you to dinner. It's not like he ignored you all day and only called you later that night and dismissed you. And of course, he wasn't going to answer you because he knew you were probably pouting and couldn't compromise when you said no. He didn't "not text or call" -- he did, at 2:40PM -- just not at your level of expectations and rules in terms of when it was acceptable for you. * And I'm not going to let this be an acceptable behaviour, even those who think it's okay. If he does not have the decency to say that he is cancelling plans with me, that is not showing me any respect. I'm a backup plan where he can come and go as he pleases. He didn't cancel. He probably got caught up with his friends, lost track of time but stilll contacted you in the afternoon. He compromised and asked you to dinner. You're so rigid in your demands. * Sure, he comes over every night for about an hour or so. But he is focused on his phone. I rather him not come over every night if that is the case. Then tell him that. You have issues communicating -- maybe this is when you communicate that you need him to be present. Or end it with him and stop complaining about everything. * I'm not nagging him. I could be bombarding him with texts and calls these past few days and be demanding an answer at the crack of dawn, but I haven't. Instead, he is giving me the silent treatment. He's probably drained from your behavior and doesn't want to deal with you. Edited February 24, 2015 by Zahara
Author not-a-drive-by Posted February 24, 2015 Author Posted February 24, 2015 So you couldn't go because you couldn't participate. Make your own plans with your friends with activities you can do. And so what if he said he was going to spend the afternoon with you. Sometimes plans change. He still called you at 2:40PM (still in the afternoon) to ask you to dinner. It's not like he ignored you all day and only called you later that night and dismissed you. And of course, he wasn't going to answer you because he knew you were probably pouting and couldn't compromise when you said no. He didn't "not text or call" -- he did, at 2:40PM -- just not at your level of expectations and rules in terms of when it was acceptable for you. He didn't cancel. He probably got caught up with his friends, lost track of time but stilll contacted you in the afternoon. He compromised and asked you to dinner. You're so rigid in your demands. You are being too harsh. You clearly did not read what I wrote. He did NOT call at night. Really, a text to ask if I would like to go dinner, I respond 'no' and him leaving it at that is acceptable? You're being ridiculous. Basic manners to at least inform the other person you won't be meeting them when you said that you were. I understand plans change, but at least tell the other person it's changed and you won't be seeing them.
Zahara Posted February 24, 2015 Posted February 24, 2015 (edited) You are being too harsh. You clearly did not read what I wrote. He did NOT call at night. Really, a text to ask if I would like to go dinner, I respond 'no' and him leaving it at that is acceptable? You're being ridiculous. Basic manners to at least inform the other person you won't be meeting them when you said that you were. I understand plans change, but at least tell the other person it's changed and you won't be seeing them. You didn't read what I wrote. You said that by 1PM on Sunday you did not hear from him. He then texted you at 2:40PM to dinner. You said no. He said that means no then. You went silent. So he went with his friends. He doesn't have to call you at night to check on you again to see if you have changed you mind. At that point, I wouldn't call you back either because you come off passive aggressive and demanding. Instead of saying, "Hey honey, did you have fun with your friends? I'm glad you got to spend some time with them. Sure I'll come around for dinner with you and your friends. It will be fun!" A great opportunity for you to meet his friends and hang out. Nope. Pout. You sat there and counted the minutes and seconds. He still contacted you at 2:40PM to reschedule plans to see you. It's not like he said he will spend the afternoon with you then completely ignored you and called you at 9PM in the night after the day was over. Compromise -- do you understand what that means? You have no concept of it. There's no flexibility or any sort of compromise on your part. It had to be your way or no way. Edited February 24, 2015 by Zahara 3
Author not-a-drive-by Posted February 24, 2015 Author Posted February 24, 2015 You didn't read what I wrote. You said that by 1PM on Sunday you did not hear from him. He then texted you at 2:40PM to dinner. You said no. He said that means no then. You went silent. So he went with his friends. He doesn't have to call you at night to check on you again to see if you have changed you mind. At that point, I wouldn't call you back either because you come off passive aggressive and demanding. Instead of saying, "Hey honey, did you have fun with your friends? I'm glad you got to spend some time with them. Sure I'll come around for dinner with you and your friends. It will be fun!" Nope. Pout. You sat there and counted the minutes and seconds. He still contacted you at 2:40PM to reschedule plans to see you. It's not like he said he will spend the afternoon with you then completely ignored you and called you at 9PM in the night and dismissed you. Compromise -- do you understand what that means? You have no concept of it. There's no flexibility or any sort of compromise on your part. It had to be your way or no way. Where is this 9pm call coming from? I'm really confused because you keep referring to it. We clearly have different values and expectations. What you think I have to say is unreasonable, and what you are saying to me, I think is unreasonable. There's no point for you to continue responding to this thread.
Zahara Posted February 24, 2015 Posted February 24, 2015 (edited) Where is this 9pm call coming from? I'm really confused because you keep referring to it. We clearly have different values and expectations. What you think I have to say is unreasonable, and what you are saying to me, I think is unreasonable. There's no point for you to continue responding to this thread. It's an example-- As in its not like he contacted you later in the evening/night and kept you waiting. Then I can understand you being upset. You had afternoon plans. He contacted you in the afternoon to reschedule seeing you. The majority of the responses/likes indicate you are overreacting. It's telling. And if you think nothing wrong of your expectations, why post and ask if you are wrong? And yes I won't be responding because it's futile. Edited February 25, 2015 by Zahara 1
d0nnivain Posted February 25, 2015 Posted February 25, 2015 Really, a text to ask if I would like to go dinner, I respond 'no' and him leaving it at that is acceptable? You're being ridiculous. Basic manners to at least inform the other person you won't be meeting them when you said that you were. I understand plans change, but at least tell the other person it's changed and you won't be seeing them. When you got the text to ask if you wanted to go to dinner with his friends it put you on notice that he wasn't having dinner with you & that the plans changed. Yes, he could have been nicer about it. When you declined, he had the option of blowing off his friends in favor of spending time with you but he didn't. That incident alone does not merit a break up. Your initial post seemed to imply that it was at least "the straw that broke the camel's back." Even if the morning's activities were too physical for you, why couldn't you attend the dinner? You don't have to answer publicly but you should know the answer in your own head. The post reads like you gave him an ultimatum: them or me & he picked them. Based on the text about the dinner you at least weren't worrying that he wasn't dead in a ditch somewhere. You also could have called him. You could have been supportive & written back: Have a great time with your friends. Let me know if you need a ride later especially if you had been drinking. Will I see you tomorrow? You didn't do that. You pouted & "tested" him. You sat there sulking waiting for him to come crawling back to you & you're still waiting getting madder by the minute. The demise of any relationship is rarely solely the fault of only one people but until you realize that you are contributing to the problem by refusing to allow him to have a life that doesn't revolve around you, this relationship is doomed. If I were you, I'd be searching to a way to sell your half of the house or buy him out. 1
kylle Posted February 25, 2015 Posted February 25, 2015 IMO you are mad at him for not fulfilling your expectations about him. You wanted him to do this, to do that, and another bit of other these and ohter that. But you haven't communicated anything to him, yet you expect him to be able to read your mind and make you happy the way you want to be. And so what if he didn't spend the afternoon with you? Is it one afternoon too much to ask? He probably got caught up with his friends, called you to invite for dinner and you said no (probably in not a nice way). Of course he didn't contact you, he probably thought you would be mad at him as soon as he spoke. He gave you time, why can't you give him some? Don't build a relationship based on expectations, this is a road to a dead end. If you really want someone to be able to give you attention as much as you need, this is not the guy...
PinkCarnations Posted February 25, 2015 Posted February 25, 2015 I'm on your boyfriends side. Don't be one of those girlfriends who demands priority over his friends. He shouldn't have to choose. It should be a compromise. Seems like in the past you've made him prioritize you more so he managed to lose touch with friends. I bet his friends think of you as the needy gf who constantly wants to gis attention and wants to be the sole person in his life. Not saying you are, but you definitely come off that way. You need to be more reasonable.
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