i left him b/c he was talking to another girl, but he won't leave me alone now

[Jay13094]

he has another chick he's talking to. I was in an exclusive relationship with him, and i found out he's been lying and playing me for a couple weeks so i left him because thats not right. This new girl he likes is studying abroad and won't be back for another 2 months- but he's been telling his friend that he wants to pursue a relationship with her. (he's been telling me "our next step is bf/gf and idk if im ready for that yet) so its pretty much a slap in the face if he gets in a relationship with her.

 

We've had multiple "talks" and "arguments" during out break up and post break up. I've deleted him off all social platforms and the pictures i put on public. He would hit me up on the weekends mostly. I ignore him and try to move on (i still like him but i know i deserve more). Our last talk was me telling him that i don't want him to contact me anymore and that im trying to move on and cut him out of my life- he's been talking a lot of sh*t and i told him everything i know that he's been saying about me but he isn't denying or owning up to it but just avoiding it all and just goes "how are you gonna believe them" blah blah blah.

 

He proceeds to ask me to casually go to a concert w/ him the next day. I ignore him, a week later he asks if i'm not mad at him to consider hanging out with his friends (keep in mind, he's been telling people he's trying to get rid of me and doesn't want to hang out anymore so why introduce me to MORE of your friends???) . I ignore AGAIN (i have my read receipts on) so he goes "really you're gonna ignore me) and again no responds. (i had him blocked, but i get all his messages through my mac computer so for that i unblocked him). I run into him at a freaking concert over the weekend, out of all the hundreds of people there of course i'd see him. He runs after me as im going to the bathroom and i'm completely caught off guard cz i had no idea he would be there. He goes on saying how I've been and gave me a hug and then goes "so you're just not gonna talk to me anymore.. and ignore my messages.. you could at least turn off your read receipts so i don't see that you saw" and i'm over here like..... i'm not having this conversation right now and why should i even spare your feelings. While a part of me realizes he just wants me around cz his chick isn't here. WHAT DOES HE NOT UNDERSTAND?? he's making this so hard for me. I don't know how else to cut him out, i've been doing a lot better but after seeing him i've gone back down a couple stages.

[Ieris]

Well done for cutting him off, he doesn't respect you and just wants to use you to fill that spot until the other girl comes back. I'm glad you see right through his lies and sweet talk. Keep blanking him, let him know you won't tolerate any of that crap and won't be treated as if you are stupid!

[disrespected]

Hi, I went through this with my ex gf for over a month, left her twice for about a week each time , its now been 2 weeks away, she would be texting guys and hiding her cell when I was with her, I got into her phone and found the evidence, I told her to stop and she said she would, all she did was change the guys name to a girls name on her contact list, so I left for good.

 

People like this will never change and you will always be suspicious , I would walk away and find someone that respects you.

 

all the best

[Zahara]

WHAT DOES HE NOT UNDERSTAND?? he's making this so hard for me. I don't know how else to cut him out, i've been doing a lot better but after seeing him i've gone back down a couple stages.

 

Well, he knows you are receiving his messages in that you are reading them. That means he knows you are still affected and still available to his communication. That means he feels if he tries to coax you enough, you will give in. He's going to try and get you to cave.

 

If you want to cut him off, you block him everywhere. For as long as he knows you are accessible to his messages, he will try and for as long as you keep reading his messages, you'll be triggered and affected.

[Jay13094]

yeah it sucks because i can't block him from my iMessage on my macbook, so either way he will know i read them cz i will still get them even if he's blocked on my phone :/

[Zahara]

yeah it sucks because i can't block him from my iMessage on my macbook, so either way he will know i read them cz i will still get them even if he's blocked on my phone :/

 

I googled it and found this. Not sure if it works but give it a try or simply delete when you see a message from him. No need to read it.

 

How to block iMessages on the Mac

Launch the Messages appon your Mac.

In the menu bar, click on Messages in the top menu and click on Preferences.

With your iMessage account selected, click on the Blocked tab.

Click on the + sign and then add the contact you'd like to block from your Contacts.

That's it, all methods of contact for that person will be blocked.

[Jay13094]

omg that does work!!! thank you!!

[Zahara]

omg that does work!!! thank you!!

 

You're welcome! Glad it works. Now you can remove him and he can finally get lost. Stay strong. You deserve better.

[Jay13094]

does blocking him make me look weak though? like that i can't handle him so i had to go out of the way to go do all that. I know it shouldn't matter, but i don't want him having the upper hand at all in this situation. I guess i'd say another reason why i didn't block in the first place was to see if he had anything worth hearing out of but clearly he's just trying to act like nothing's wrong so yeah..but idk

[Jay13094]

Well done for cutting him off, he doesn't respect you and just wants to use you to fill that spot until the other girl comes back. I'm glad you see right through his lies and sweet talk. Keep blanking him, let him know you won't tolerate any of that crap and won't be treated as if you are stupid!

 

that other girl knows about me, and knew about me when they were 'talking" so she's just as bad. But she's just like him, talking to multiple guys while talking to him as well. But apparently they both want to be "together" but if i was her, i wouldn't want this guy talking to me.... like i just feel like he'll never fully let me go and its just hard. I won't crack since i know what i want to hear from him and if he gives me anything less I won't be giving him the time of day. And i mean even if he did want me back and knows he messed up i should not go back since it will be the same thing all over again. Its just poison :T So while i completely understand, and see through his bs why can't he just let me go when he has someone else that he's saying he wants to pursue .....

[FancyFace]

Self preservation is not a weak move, blocking and all forms of NC are about protecting yourself, healing, moving on and creating healthy boundaries for youself. It matters not one single bit what he or anybody thinks. Eff em and eff him.

 

Also, the more you think and try figure out what him and his new gf/fling/whatever she is, are doing, the more you will drive yourself insane and stall the healing. I would suggest that whenever you feel the urge to analyse anything, take the main headlines out of it. He is a doucchebag who did not appreciate you, was creeping behind your back, tried to use you to fill a void until the new girl came back and doesnt have the decency to respect your wishes. End of story. Everything else is irrelevant. You dodged a bullet and you deserve better. Remind yourself of that headline always!