How do guys feel about dating a girl for a month before expecting...

February 23, 2015

...anything intimate to happen?!

I guess I'm just wondering how guys 30 - 45 think about dating a woman (IF they like her and are interested in her) and getting to know her for about a month (give or take) before expecting to see how sexually compatible they are with each other?

The reason I ask is...because, I was very much in love with my ex before I had made the decision to let him go and to live his life to mature and to learn about life and about certain aspects of being in a relationship - that I'm asking this question. I'm trying to accept the realistic ideals about the dating atmosphere in 2015 and am somewhat MORE cautious about who I let into my life, into my heart...and into my bed.

As such, I cannot bring myself to have sex with a guy that I don't love...I have to at least care about him before I'd even consider sharing myself intimately in that way...so, I would need to take the time to get to KNOW him; to learn what his core personality traits are...and to see if I even share any type of personality type of chemistry with him (as well as physical chemistry) before I'd even consider sharing something as intimate, personal and awesome (to ME) as sexual intimacy.

How do the guys on this forum feel about this? Now, I do realize that there are MANY guys on here who are only after "random" and FWB type of sexual encounters on here - those are the guys who this question is NOT aimed towards.

To all the rest of the guys on here who are looking for something more meaningful than just a "roll in the hay"...what do YOU think about getting to know a woman for a month *before* you even consider having a sexually intimate encounter with her?? Do you think that this is too long of a time period? Do you think it's not long enough? Do you think that older women shouldn't "make a guy wait so long" for him to become sexually intimate with her?

Just trying to take the proverbial "pulse" of the men on this site. I have a thick skin, so please be completely HONEST with how you feel about the question I'm asking, okay?

.

February 23, 2015

I'd wait a month - provided I was really into you (and not just looking for Sex).

There would have to be other physical intimacy (kissing,etc.) though so I know you're attracted to me.

February 23, 2015

I'd probably wait a month (or more) while we get to know each other, but I would not want to hear anything about exclusivity, because, well, we're still getting to know each other.

Does that make sense?

February 23, 2015

I would consider a month very reasonable. I'm open to longer as long as the woman is up front about it and there are other signs of physical interest. Unfortunately, I've been fooled by the "I like to take things slow" line multiple times, so I'm very wary.

February 23, 2015

I'd wait a month - provided I was really into you (and not just looking for Sex).

There would have to be other physical intimacy (kissing,etc.) though so I know you're attracted to me.

Well, that's understandable. I would hope that within a month's time, that two people who are into each other and who share awesome chem with each other would be making out and doing other things together because they couldn't stand keeping their hands off of each other lol. Thanks for your honest response, Barcode. Idk...it just feels kind of weird to me to be in the dating scene again. I sometimes feel like I don't fit in, and I feel...out of place.

.

February 23, 2015

I'd probably wait a month (or more) while we get to know each other, but I would not want to hear anything about exclusivity, because, well, we're still getting to know each other.

Does that make sense?

Yes, it does. I wouldn't expect exclusivity from a guy until it has been established on both sides that we're totally into each other and are NOT interested in seeing anyone else.

,

February 23, 2015

I would consider a month very reasonable. I'm open to longer as long as the woman is up front about it and there are other signs of physical interest. Unfortunately, I've been fooled by the "I like to take things slow" line multiple times, so I'm very wary.

You're like the third guy that has mentioned this. How can ANY woman expect a guy to wait a month (give or take) before sexual intimacy takes place and NOT expect the both of them to engage in other forms of physical connectiveness during that time? That would involve Twilight Zone kind of weirdness lol.

Sorry that you've been fooled by women who feigned wanting to "take things slow" who had NO intention of ever following through with WANTING to show signs that they were interested in you! Um, sorry...but to me, that's just craziness. If I was a guy, I'd steer clear of that ish lol

.

February 23, 2015

If a girl wants to take things slow - and won't get physical AT ALL - Run away while you still can.

February 24, 2015

I'm 46 however I will answer. You are right most guys are into casual sex, it's a hookup culture. It's not just the guys thought, I certainly wouldn't want sex with a woman that had too many casual sex affairs.

February 24, 2015

I'm 46 however I will answer. You are right most guys are into casual sex, it's a hookup culture. It's not just the guys thought, I certainly wouldn't want sex with a woman that had too many casual sex affairs.

It's nice to see a guy who feels this way. I, too, wouldn't want to sleep with a guy who was spreading himself thin like that. I'd rather become intimate with a guy who has been in regular LTRs than with a bachelor who is constantly having casual encounters with multitudes of women.

.

February 24, 2015

A woman im dating now is doing the "..but i dont want to be pressured into sex and want us to het to know each other a bit" thing with me and I think im at my limit to walk away. I didnt mention sex but i did notice that touching her even a bit in a sexual way and she slows down. I have a feeling today will be the day i do the houdini. We are supposed to meet later in the evening. But i have this built up tension and some issues im not happy with her.

To me sexual intimacy goes hand and hand with getting to know a person. I dont wait to know them a long time to be able to sleep with them. Granted those women i date want a ltr and so do I. We both have sensed that. My limit for sex is 3 weeks and considering cutting it less. If you talk on the phone twice everyday and meet 2-4 times a week, 2 weeks is more than enough time. im 43 not a 20yo. Puwsey isnt this magical myth prize i get to have after proving myself and spending tons of money for dates. Screw that. If i dont sense its going that direction im out. Like i probably will tonight. Im tensed up and feel I wont hold. I have a lot of options. And im never single for a long time.

February 24, 2015

It's nice to see a guy who feels this way. I, too, wouldn't want to sleep with a guy who was spreading himself thin like that. I'd rather become intimate with a guy who has been in regular LTRs than with a bachelor who is constantly having casual encounters with multitudes of women.

.

A relationship based on sex will doom to fail. And that's what most people do these days.

I have been a bachelor most of my life.

I think men sleep around because most women have little to offer. Women sleep around to try to get the alpha male, which is usually the men making a lot of money and if they can't find that women will go for attractive males.

It's a cat and mouse game where nobody wins. I rather not play.

Edited February 24, 2015 by Macattack

February 24, 2015

You lack experience with dating. what u wrote is nonsense. Maybe this why u are a bachelor.

An alpha male has nothing to do with money. Its a specific set of personality traits that is desirable to women. Its the man not based on how much money. So its either attractive males or alpha males with money..?

Women have a lot to offer. With many women being independant Many dont feel the need to have a man. They have everything they need. I tend to stay away from these women myself but its obvious u didnt date much and go by theory.

February 24, 2015

You lack experience with dating. what u wrote is nonsense. Maybe this why u are a bachelor.
An alpha male has nothing to do with money. Its a specific set of personality traits that is desirable to women. Its the man not based on how much money. So its either attractive males or alpha males with money..?
Women have a lot to offer. With many women being independant Many dont feel the need to have a man. They have everything they need. I tend to stay away from these women myself but its obvious u didnt date much and go by theory.

I belong to a male only forums and we discuss these things. Women have a lot to offer? LOL These women will only date up. I guess you don't get it. Look at Hypergamy, it's a world wide phenomenon.

Getting dates isn't a problem, the problem is meeting quality women.

You like getting women at the bottom of the barrel and you call that experience.

February 24, 2015

...anything intimate to happen?!

I guess I'm just wondering how guys 30 - 45 think about dating a woman (IF they like her and are interested in her) and getting to know her for about a month (give or take) before expecting to see how sexually compatible they are with each other?

The reason I ask is...because, I was very much in love with my ex before I had made the decision to let him go and to live his life to mature and to learn about life and about certain aspects of being in a relationship - that I'm asking this question. I'm trying to accept the realistic ideals about the dating atmosphere in 2015 and am somewhat MORE cautious about who I let into my life, into my heart...and into my bed.

As such, I cannot bring myself to have sex with a guy that I don't love...I have to at least care about him before I'd even consider sharing myself intimately in that way...so, I would need to take the time to get to KNOW him; to learn what his core personality traits are...and to see if I even share any type of personality type of chemistry with him (as well as physical chemistry) before I'd even consider sharing something as intimate, personal and awesome (to ME) as sexual intimacy.

How do the guys on this forum feel about this? Now, I do realize that there are MANY guys on here who are only after "random" and FWB type of sexual encounters on here - those are the guys who this question is NOT aimed towards.

To all the rest of the guys on here who are looking for something more meaningful than just a "roll in the hay"...what do YOU think about getting to know a woman for a month *before* you even consider having a sexually intimate encounter with her?? Do you think that this is too long of a time period? Do you think it's not long enough? Do you think that older women shouldn't "make a guy wait so long" for him to become sexually intimate with her?

Just trying to take the proverbial "pulse" of the men on this site. I have a thick skin, so please be completely HONEST with how you feel about the question I'm asking, okay?

.

Maximum I would wait is two weeks, my spidey sense would be tingling after that. Not that waiting for sex in a problem, rather I would just be wondering if this woman has some other agenda besides a healthy relationship. I've just never been with a woman who wasn't interested in getting in the sack within date two or three of the relationship.

That being said I can definately empathize with a woman who clearly expresses the wish for things to go slow, as long as her reasons aren't something regurgitated from Dr. Phil.

I can't believe that people have to have exclusivity talks these days. Sometimes I don't want to live on this planet anymore.

I'm 33 by the way.

Edited February 24, 2015 by ManyDissapoint

February 24, 2015

"The battle of the sexes is alive and well. According to Pew Research Center, the share of women ages eighteen to thirty-four that say having a successful marriage is one of the most important things in their lives rose nine percentage points since 1997 – from 28 percent to 37 percent. For men, the opposite occurred. The share voicing this opinion dropped, from 35 percent to 29 percent.

Believe it or not, modern women want to get married. Trouble is, men don’t."

??modern women want to get married. Trouble is, men don?t.? | Dr. Helen

"Or, what’s also common is men marrying women who make considerably less than they do, with no immediate prospects to increase that income. This has happened for centuries. Once a guy gets to the point where he knows he’ll make decent money, the economic background (or future) of his spouse doesn’t matter so much. Her income is viewed as gravy, a nice added bonus.

So, now that women have succeeded in both furthering their education and becoming more financially independent than ever, why do they refuse to marry down?

If you ever take the time to browse the world of online dating, you’ll discover tons of smart, ambitious and successful women on there. And, just about always, they say they’re looking for the same in a guy. They’re not even subtle about it. They might as well write in big, bold letters LOSERS NEED NOT APPLY. Required on the first date are two years of tax forms and your net worth statement.

"....

"It seems to me that women want to have it both ways. They want to maximize their own earnings, but still end up with a guy more successful than they are. They want to feel taken care of, yet independent at the same time. They fight for wage equality and equal opportunities, yet refuse to even consider dating someone who doesn’t meet their definition of success. They want to simultaneously take care of themselves and have a man take care of them."

Why Do Women Refuse To Marry Down? - Financial Uproar

Edited February 24, 2015 by Macattack

February 24, 2015

I belong to a male only forums and we discuss these things. Women have a lot to offer? LOL These women will only date up. I guess you don't get it. Look at Hypergamy, it's a world wide phenomenon.
Getting dates isn't a problem, the problem is meeting quality women.
You like getting women at the bottom of the barrel and you call that experience.

keep staying a bachelor you have no choice since youre not an alpha or an attractive male I guess. if you were either, youd have a flood of options to choose. from. since I look great, Im tall and muscular, I have nonstop options.

February 24, 2015

keep staying a bachelor you have no choice since youre not an alpha or an attractive male I guess. if you were either, youd have a flood of options to choose. from. since I look great, Im tall and muscular, I have nonstop options.

LOL

You really have no clue. You're guessing, where's your proof?

You proved my point buddy.

February 24, 2015

"The battle of the sexes is alive and well. According to Pew Research Center, the share of women ages eighteen to thirty-four that say having a successful marriage is one of the most important things in their lives rose nine percentage points since 1997 – from 28 percent to 37 percent. For men, the opposite occurred. The share voicing this opinion dropped, from 35 percent to 29 percent.

Believe it or not, modern women want to get married. Trouble is, men don’t."

??modern women want to get married. Trouble is, men don?t.? | Dr. Helen

"Or, what’s also common is men marrying women who make considerably less than they do, with no immediate prospects to increase that income. This has happened for centuries. Once a guy gets to the point where he knows he’ll make decent money, the economic background (or future) of his spouse doesn’t matter so much. Her income is viewed as gravy, a nice added bonus.

So, now that women have succeeded in both furthering their education and becoming more financially independent than ever, why do they refuse to marry down?

If you ever take the time to browse the world of online dating, you’ll discover tons of smart, ambitious and successful women on there. And, just about always, they say they’re looking for the same in a guy. They’re not even subtle about it. They might as well write in big, bold letters LOSERS NEED NOT APPLY. Required on the first date are two years of tax forms and your net worth statement.
"....

"It seems to me that women want to have it both ways. They want to maximize their own earnings, but still end up with a guy more successful than they are. They want to feel taken care of, yet independent at the same time. They fight for wage equality and equal opportunities, yet refuse to even consider dating someone who doesn’t meet their definition of success. They want to simultaneously take care of themselves and have a man take care of them."

Why Do Women Refuse To Marry Down? - Financial Uproar

YAWN...... youre all about theory. stroking it at home running to those retrded forums ..while im out getting puwsey. let me bring you a box tissue mr bachelor

February 24, 2015

You need to go online to get dates. LOL

Good grief, I can't even take you seriously sir!

February 24, 2015

LOL
You really have no clue. You're guessing, where's your proof?
You proved my point buddy.

you can laugh out loud, as loud as you want for as much as you want. if you had options you wouldnt be a bachelor. simple as that. you would have enough to choose from and even if you were extremely picky, you would be dating regularly. since youre not the attractive male or the alpha (which are the only two options in your mind) you dont. not because you dont want to, because you dont have the options. the ones you want dont want you.

I have a lot of options. I dont stay single for long. I do walk away a lot because it takes time to get proper information on who they are. im very sharp and as a pro photog I add things up very quickly to realize a lot are not what they say or not what I want. but I at least have options to meet and try. I filter hard beforehand and I get messages from women also. but I try. I go out and see who they are face to face. you stay bitter at home jerking it and staying single.

you copy paste nonsense by others who dont get their cokkes wet also and are bitter and simply in a stuck state. money is not everything to a woman and youre talking too much nonsense. you should have a job and put your fair share in.

I know fully well whats going on in the dating world. because I date...a lot.

I know there is a lot of things that are changing. Ive read things from dr helen smith, men on strike, I also see how women act. I see men dont give a crap to commit anymore. I see it all. but yet I still choose to look for the special girl. most of the issue is within the US. it hasnt spread worldwide. all the crap that happens in dating trends happen in the US. most of the world doesnt have this exclusivity bs talk thats in the US. its a known that its a one on one dating situation. most of the problems are in the US. since youre canadian than it has probably also spread there eh..

February 24, 2015

I understand wanting to get to know each other but why a month? How can you put a timeline on that and guarantee you'll know him after a month? Just sounds arbitrary, almost in the way it sounds arbitrary when guys say things like "I expect sex after 2 weeks or 3 dates" etc.

You really don't know when it will feel "right".

February 24, 2015

I was always willing to wait up to a couple of months if I strongly felt there was great relationship potential. The funny thing is, the women always initiated having sex long before that. I'm sure some were just using me for their pleasure, which was annoying as I wanted to develop a relationship. Still, I had a good time even so. There's always the chance that even if you wait, you'll find you're sexually incompatible when you do the deed, but at least there's a higher chance that you're trying it with someone who would want a relationship.

February 24, 2015

I understand wanting to get to know each other but why a month? How can you put a timeline on that and guarantee you'll know him after a month? Just sounds arbitrary, almost in the way it sounds arbitrary when guys say things like "I expect sex after 2 weeks or 3 dates" etc.

You really don't know when it will feel "right".

Probably due to the fact there are men who will pump and dump women. It is actually encouraged with a group of men.

February 24, 2015

Im 34 and Im fed up of women in their late 20s and early 30s dragging me back to theirs/inviting themselves round mine on the 2nd date. Things have always been better for me when you build up to it over a number of dates- to the point where you want them so bad that you could burst.

Sex is just like any other 'must have it now' commodity in modern life. We have stripped away the taboos about it so it can be consumed like its fast food, something you do ASAP for convenience rather than a symbolic act between two people who have a deep connection. Its sad.

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