DC77 Posted February 23, 2015 Posted February 23, 2015 Okay. Could use some help on this one. This guy I'm dating is always making comments about the size of his junk. (Is that a nice way to put that? he is not a big dude in general. 5' 9 a buck fifty. He's not hung like a rhino but not small by any means. A perfect size for me really. And I've told him this. But he still comments on it. I want to say things to make him feel good without being insincere. "Oh my gosh it's so big" is not going to cut it. He'll know I'm bull****ting. So guys what do you like to hear? What can I say genuinely to put this issue at ease? Ready go
mightycpa Posted February 23, 2015 Posted February 23, 2015 (edited) What kind of comments? Real big? Too little? Short and fat? Like a man-clit? Is he joking? Serious? Quiet? Always asking to turn the lights off? What? I think that matters. In the meantime, just moan when it hits the sweet spot, and encourage him to go faster and harder. Kiss it a lot too, he'll get the message. Edited February 23, 2015 by mightycpa
Shining One Posted February 23, 2015 Posted February 23, 2015 Pretend you have trouble walking afterwards. When a woman collapses to the floor after trying to get up, I know I did a good job. It's more of an ego boost than words can ever be. 1
smackie9 Posted February 23, 2015 Posted February 23, 2015 Ignore his comments and stop reassuring him because this cycle will never stop if you don't....you are litterally feeding into his insecurity and enabling this behavior. 3
Omei Posted February 23, 2015 Posted February 23, 2015 I would just flat tell him next time he brings it up that you're okay with his size it doesnt bother you and you like it and he doesnt need to worry because hes with you and you like it just fine so if he could stop bringing it up that would be nice since you dont like hearing how unconfident he is tell him he can be confident in that you like it. 1
smackie9 Posted February 23, 2015 Posted February 23, 2015 Pretend you have trouble walking afterwards. When a woman collapses to the floor after trying to get up, I know I did a good job. It's more of an ego boost than words can ever be. Doing this will not be long** lived. He has a behavior problem, and by praising him, boosting his ego will not fix it. 1
Dallers Posted February 23, 2015 Posted February 23, 2015 Ignore his comments and stop reassuring him because this cycle will never stop if you don't....you are litterally feeding into his insecurity and enabling this behavior. This all day. Insecurity is a vicious circle fed by acknowledgement. Ego boost never work with guys, this is our problem you cannot fix it. I have always been a good size but a girl I was with 10 years ago came out of the woodwork recently and said I was huge and certainly a lot bigger than when she last saw me. I thought she might have just been saying that but I think she might be right. The only thing I can put that down to is a healthy lifestyle which has led to a significant increase in my testosterone over the years. Muscle mass, less fat and far more manly features and better blood flow. In other words, recommend this to your guy rather than just giving him reassurance which helps no one. Tell him to sort his diet and exercise and get his hormones up. Hit the weights! Men need T it is always overlooked.
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted February 23, 2015 Posted February 23, 2015 Just tell him to nut up and shut up and **** you already. Weight training will naturally boost his T levels - might help.
MissBee Posted February 24, 2015 Posted February 24, 2015 Doing this will not be long** lived. He has a behavior problem, and by praising him, boosting his ego will not fix it. I agree. I don't think this is your responsibility. Of course nothing is wrong with reassuring him you like his size and it's perfect for you, but if after doing this several times he's still insecure and constantly talks about it that's his problem to fix. Some insecurities are totally in that person's mind and nothing anyone else can say or how many times they say it helps so it will be like you constantly pouring water into a bucket with holes. 1
Elias33 Posted February 24, 2015 Posted February 24, 2015 Do not enable approval seeking behavior. It stems from low self-esteem and insecurities. That monster can't be fed from the outside. But you can however, make a genuine, occasional comment which indicates your satisfaction. 3
preraph Posted February 24, 2015 Posted February 24, 2015 I doubt you can fix him. I wouldn't get in the habit of having to compliment his penis every time you meet it. Logically, he must know not all women want big ones. Logically, he must know that if you're good enough with your hands, size doesn't matter. He has irrational insecurity. And it's annoying.
lgspot Posted February 24, 2015 Posted February 24, 2015 Might I suggest saying----"just my size"---whenever he says it. As others have mentioned, it will probably be short-lived. Perhaps the compliment I've remembered longest was the simplest. A girl that had been around a bit (as in seen more than one. lol), looked me straight into the eyes after unwrapping the package and said, "ummmm that's a nice one!" At that point, I'd have bought her a house....
Author DC77 Posted February 24, 2015 Author Posted February 24, 2015 Wowzers! I had no idea I was going to get such fired up responses! This isn't that serious. But the responses are interesting... Yeah I get I don't want to perpetuate a behavior. Of course it's not something I should have to do on a constant basis. Jeebus. But you could flip it and equate it to a woman asking if her ass is fat. It happens. It gets said. Sometimes people just need a little reassurance. And I agree. Say your peace and put it to rest... Was Just looking for nice or even creative ways to say I like your penis just fine without involving size, from others guy's experience. I have my own brain but I'm not always eloquent. I want to say something reassuring when I need to without sticking my foot in my mouth. @lg - thank you. Simple. That's all i was looking for
smackie9 Posted February 24, 2015 Posted February 24, 2015 You want to know what guys wants to hear? Talk dirty to him.
ascendotum Posted February 24, 2015 Posted February 24, 2015 What can I say genuinely to put this issue at ease? Just tell him he is typical of most of your past lovers. You had a couple bigger too and also a couple fair bit smaller as well.
Winterina Posted February 24, 2015 Posted February 24, 2015 Errr... I had the same feeling about my bf. But it all stopped when he figured out he often goes in too deep and can hurt me... So now he is careful about that and never mentioned his size again. Which is really average... and average size is the best.
Buddhist Posted February 24, 2015 Posted February 24, 2015 I want to say things to make him feel good without being insincere. What can I say genuinely to put this issue at ease? Ready go Not a guy. But my last partner had a tiny one. He even said....yeah I'm really small. The thought that went through my mind at the time was....Well don't draw attention to the fact! Thankfully my filter was working that day. When I say small I meant there were logistical issues during sex. But the thing is, I just ignored his comments and I was patient enough to let him work around the problem until we found the magic position that made it all work. Once that was down his confidence returned and then things got a lot better from there on in. My advice, just ignore it. There is really nothing you can do to change his mind about what he thinks of his dick. But if you fail to react, and let him be the only person noticing/mentioning it, eventually he'll give up on that and find his confidence.
gaius Posted February 24, 2015 Posted February 24, 2015 He might not believe if you tell him it's super big, but he might if you say he's one of your biggest.
Jessie1231 Posted February 24, 2015 Posted February 24, 2015 Not a guy. But my last partner had a tiny one. He even said....yeah I'm really small. The thought that went through my mind at the time was....Well don't draw attention to the fact! Thankfully my filter was working that day. When I say small I meant there were logistical issues during sex. But the thing is, I just ignored his comments and I was patient enough to let him work around the problem until we found the magic position that made it all work. Once that was down his confidence returned and then things got a lot better from there on in. My advice, just ignore it. There is really nothing you can do to change his mind about what he thinks of his dick. But if you fail to react, and let him be the only person noticing/mentioning it, eventually he'll give up on that and find his confidence. Oh my goodness this is my last boyfriend exactly. We had logistical problems too and it was so awkward because you don't want to make him feel even worse, but it's hard to ignore. The only difference is that my ex was never able to find any magic spot. This didn't lead to our breakup by any means, but once we did break up I was really stoked that we didn't have to go through those extremely weird attempts at sex.
todreaminblue Posted February 24, 2015 Posted February 24, 2015 i have had some experience with guys who have are really self conscious about their penis......i always tell them its the way you use it and having a massive penis does not make a man a good lover....then i make love to his penis.....i give it a name....so i can mention it often anytime i feel like it and no one knows what i am talking about......but he does..its cheeky and makes aguy feel a little admired in a secretive but obvious way..i am vocal......make him feel good...and giving good head is a way for any guy to think he is the stuff like no one else could be......lick it like an ice cream, its the best thing you could have in your mouth...besides ice cream of course....;0) and let him see you watching ....give the biggest smile and keep going....let him see how you enjoy pleasing him.......he is the best thing evahh.he is chocolate to you.......let him see that....thats how you build a guy up...because honestly size is not the problem but confidence can be and surely is the root of most sexual issues..........deb
SJC2008 Posted February 24, 2015 Posted February 24, 2015 Okay. Could use some help on this one. This guy I'm dating is always making comments about the size of his junk. (Is that a nice way to put that? he is not a big dude in general. 5' 9 a buck fifty. He's not hung like a rhino but not small by any means. A perfect size for me really. And I've told him this. But he still comments on it. I want to say things to make him feel good without being insincere. "Oh my gosh it's so big" is not going to cut it. He'll know I'm bull****ting. So guys what do you like to hear? What can I say genuinely to put this issue at ease? Ready go Tell him that you've reasurred him enough and that he needs to put the issue to bed! Some times you have to be firm with people, especially one's you are in relationships with. If he doesn't let up after that he never will.
todreaminblue Posted February 24, 2015 Posted February 24, 2015 one of the reasons that i believe in sex after marriage is time and time again i have seen how having sex before can crush confidence......both women and men suffer through thoughtless lovers and expectations placed on fantastical altered pornographical like proportions, staying power and yep size...... to me if the guy you love has a deep seated insecurity about his penis and or performance you make him feel the opposite....you make him feel appreciated...relevant, important and most importantly reassure him as a man he does it right.......i dont think it should ever be ignored or avoided ...its an issue that needs hands on healing.......and yes giving that penis a hands on approach can be helpful a loving two handed massage to full erect capabilities and then saying now look at that ... do you see why its perfect.....its perfect for me....because you know it is...reassurance never avoidance....and this is coming from knowing damaged men.....they need that.......a loving touch and a true heart...if you love a guy you want him to feel that love...that means telling him he is the only one that matters penis and all...he is the best.....you bring out that best in him......deb
Suave Posted February 24, 2015 Posted February 24, 2015 What can I say genuinely to put this issue at ease? Just tell him he is typical of most of your past lovers. You had a couple bigger too and also a couple fair bit smaller as well. No guy wants to hear that you've had bigger. Even though it may be true, don't say it. 1
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