happyfeelings Posted February 23, 2015 Posted February 23, 2015 I've known this guy for 10 years now. We met in high school when I was 13 and he was 14. I liked him instantly and I made it clear that I had feelings for him. He wasn't interested in a relationship with me but we remained close friends and he would always do special things for me like buy me a huge teddy bear as a Christmas present when he didn't get ANYTHING for our other friends lol. Eventually, he moved schools and we lost contact. A year later, we got back in contact and he confessed to me that he liked me the whole time but he was afraid of "ruining our friendship". Unfortunately, I had a boyfriend at the time. A couple months later, I broke up with my boyfriend and I started dating my guy friend. We were only together for a couple of months before he broke up with me and expressed that he wanted to go back to being friends. I was totally devastated and after that we had very limited contact and didn't see him for 4 years. In the meantime, I got back together with my ex boyfriend. So 4 years go by and he texts me one day asking if I want to watch the final Harry Potter movie with him (he knows im a huge Potter fan). My boyfriend and I were on the verge of breaking up so I said sure. We hung out a lot that summer (movies, concerts, bars) but nothing ever happened because we were both going through tough breakups. Then eventually he got a new girlfriend and I got a new boyfriend and we lost contact again for a few months. Fast forward to now, we are both single again. His last girlfriend left him jaded and closed off to relationships. He recently asked me to see 50 Shades of Grey with him and I agreed. A few days before we were supposed to go to the movies, I start flirting with him and it takes him by surprise which is normal considering I haven't expressed interest in him in about 8 years lol. When we finally meet up, he tells me of a fwb horror story he had with his best friend in which after they had sex, she said she had feelings for him and he had to cut off the friendship. He's very attractive and women throw themselves at him all the time. He thinks its really annoying and the only reason he's able to laugh it off with me is because he cares about me so much. We had a great time laughing at the movie and he treated me to Starbucks after. He told me he thinks I'm attractive but he just wants to stay friends with me. He wants to see me again soon. We have always been a little bit more than friends. We almost always hang out alone. He's invited me over to his apartment ALONE more than a few times but I've always declined since I've always had a boyfriend. My ex boyfriends have always been jealous of him (with good reason). Since we are both single, I would really love an opportunity to date and get to know him again. Do I still have a shot? Or is it a lost cause? TL;DR: I've know this guy for 10 years. We used to date in high school. I'm interested in him again but he's 'friendzoned' me. What do I do?
d0nnivain Posted February 23, 2015 Posted February 23, 2015 Decide whether you want to be only his friend, while filled with the longing for something (someone) you can't have. If you are OK with that unfulfilled longing, continue being his friend. If you want more & can't handle just being "friends" But some distance in your interactions.
Author happyfeelings Posted February 23, 2015 Author Posted February 23, 2015 Decide whether you want to be only his friend, while filled with the longing for something (someone) you can't have. If you are OK with that unfulfilled longing, continue being his friend. If you want more & can't handle just being "friends" But some distance in your interactions. I'm not super attached to the outcome. I think he's a cool guy and I like hanging out with him just as friends. I'm definitely not in love with him, I don't know him well enough anymore. But I still want to escalate the relationship.
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted February 23, 2015 Posted February 23, 2015 You could try FWB with him I guess.
mysteryscape Posted February 23, 2015 Posted February 23, 2015 You could continue to see him but hold back your feelings. Don't expect him to change his mind just because you would like him to. It's possible that he will but if you count on it, you are likely to be disappointed.
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