Toodaloo Posted February 23, 2015 Posted February 23, 2015 I am out of practice. Any tips from you guys?
d0nnivain Posted February 23, 2015 Posted February 23, 2015 Be comfortable & gracious. You should look your best but suitable to the occasion. The material should be touchable -- silk, cashmere etc. Sparkling or pearl earrings will catch the light. Smile. Work to put him at ease because he's nervous too. Be interesting but more important, be interested in what he has to say. Be able to change gears quickly if the situation requires.
Mrin Posted February 23, 2015 Posted February 23, 2015 In addition to what d0nnivain said - 1. Scent: I am a big fan of women wearing scent. Even just a lightly scented hand lotion. This sounds odd but if you are wearing scent or scented hand lotion, that smell will transfer to him if you hug or hold hands. It will linger on him after you part and be an olfactory trigger of sorts. 2. Convo: All men like to hear the sound of their own names. Be sure to use it throughout your date. Also, be inquisitive about him and not just on a surface level. One of the best first dates I've ever been on the lady basically treated my story like it was the most interesting thing shes ever heard. But genuinely so. It got me talking and comfortable. It also opens up the opportunity for witty banter. 3. Eye Contact: love it! 4. Touch: if you are digging him, do a light arm touch or something to break the ice. 5. Be Yourself: above all, be true to you. 6. Express Pleasure: if you are enjoying yourself, let him know. Good : "I'm having such a good time". Better: "I'm having such a good time with you". Best: "I'm having such a good time with you, Peter!" Have fun! 2
PogoStick Posted February 23, 2015 Posted February 23, 2015 Hypnotize him with your Siren's voice. I'm meeting a girl today. We've already talked on the phone and I'm thrilled with her voice. The voice even transmits one's personality. Her's is cute, feminine, and playful. So smile. Be playful. Be young and girly. Let your eyes show how excited you are to be with him.
alphamale Posted February 23, 2015 Posted February 23, 2015 So smile. Be playful. Be young and girly. Let your eyes show how excited you are to be with him. what if he's nerdy, wears glasses and has spinach in his teeth?
losangelena Posted February 23, 2015 Posted February 23, 2015 Ask them about themselves. People love to talk about themselves. I went on a first date once and the guy talked for about five hours. Messaged me later saying it was the best date he'd ever had. I didn't do anything but sit and listen. 2
Author Toodaloo Posted February 23, 2015 Author Posted February 23, 2015 have sex w/ him Its crusted over Alpha so will not be doing that!!! Its a walk round his town and seeing some of the major sights, mostly outside... So will have to wear warm clothes and flats or will freeze/ break and ankle!! I do have a pretty scarf that's tactile I could wear... and my "posh coat" is suede so that feels nice to touch... He is already being very gentlemanly so... 2
Author Toodaloo Posted February 23, 2015 Author Posted February 23, 2015 what if he's nerdy, wears glasses and has spinach in his teeth? Check the first Possibly the second Possibly the third...
preraph Posted February 23, 2015 Posted February 23, 2015 On the first couple of dates and just in life in general, both men and women just want someone who is fun and happy and a little entertaining. Don't "interview" and don't bring up serious subjects, past history, etc. Just see if you can have fun together or not. 1
Author Toodaloo Posted February 23, 2015 Author Posted February 23, 2015 Well plenty of time between now and then for him to cancel or stand me up so not getting too excited. then its only a first meet so we may end up hating each other anyway...
Haydn Posted February 23, 2015 Posted February 23, 2015 Toodaloo, use that sense of humour. You have it in spades. I love girls who make me laugh. Got everything crossed for you. 3
MissBee Posted February 23, 2015 Posted February 23, 2015 I am out of practice. Any tips from you guys? I mean...it's not like you're a circus performer or this is a job interview. As cliched as it is, you need to be yourself, you're hoping to get the person to like you right? Not some falsified version of yourself. For me: I assume the point is for the person to like me and if they don't, that's fine, it's part of dating. That said, I dress nicely, do my hair, makeup, smell good, look good, and bring my normal personality, conversation skills and everything else to the table. I don't have any special things I go out of the way to do to impress the person besides trying to look nice and smell good, which I try to do everyday anyway. That's all. We will naturally click from there on based on physical attraction plus the chemistry in how we vibe, our conversation, etc or we won't. 1
Vintage79 Posted February 23, 2015 Posted February 23, 2015 In business school the guiding philosophy on trying to get to know some (professionally), is ask them nothing about work for the first 2-3 days - basically, just connect on a personal level. I think it's pretty applicable here. Sure, you can get a few basic questions about of the way, but if the conversation keeps cycling back to work, or work related topics, it's a non-starter for me. Outside of a need for some level of physical attraction, and humor and fun being quintessential (otherwise it's boring, and no one wants to come back), while I like if they ask questions, etc., I truthfully don't care if they do - I'd rather have a flowing conversation - if it sounds like an interview, it's a pass. That said, at least for me, a fun, light, flowing conversation isn't sufficient - they need to exhibit some level of interest - that could be with casual touching, cliche signs that a woman is interested (hair flips, smacking lips, whatever). While I suppose asking questions COULD be added to that list, it's a strong function of the type of questions (you can tell if they're sincere and non-interview style - i.e. they're clearly trying to get to know you), I strongly favor the contact and other non-verbal signs. An interested kiss is always a very good sign, but not mandatory, in particular if they're an online girl who I've only chatted with for 1-2 hours over drinks. As for appearance, look nice, but not over-the-top...I had a woman the other night dress to the 9s, fancy cocktail dress, huge hair, make-up, etc...total overkill for 1-2 hours of cocktails in a laid back (but fancy), cocktail lounge. It basically told me that she was already over invested and had no idea how to calibrate things...this is probably a smaller part of it, but blatantly trying to show off the assets (at least to me), says that she values her body over her personality, which is not super attractive to me.
losangelena Posted February 23, 2015 Posted February 23, 2015 Well plenty of time between now and then for him to cancel or stand me up so not getting too excited. then its only a first meet so we may end up hating each other anyway... Haha, don't go in with that attitude! Positivity is attractive.
TigerCub Posted February 23, 2015 Posted February 23, 2015 6. Express Pleasure: if you are enjoying yourself, let him know. Good : "I'm having such a good time". Better: "I'm having such a good time with you". Best: "I'm having such a good time with you, Peter!" Have fun! I tried that! and then it upset my date Chris! 3
Author Toodaloo Posted February 23, 2015 Author Posted February 23, 2015 (edited) Toodaloo, use that sense of humour. You have it in spades. I love girls who make me laugh. Got everything crossed for you. Thanks Hon... Should be interesting... A country lass meeting a true Londoner... I have only been to London for 1. business (several studios and lumping equipment around - got beeped at lots but figured what I was driving was bigger anyway and had a lad giving me directions), 2. to get passports - out of the station and whip round the corner then into the pub opposite with a book and plate of chips, found a nice church last time too... 3. to visit my Grandfather in hospital after major heart surgery 4. and to pick up a load of stuff from the girl who used to live next door when she moved back to the countryside! 5. Oh and the countryside march which was rather fun as we were swopping sandwiches with some lads from Northumberland who got piddled on the way down and had the munchies but didn't like the corned beef their mother had sent them down with. The underground is a mystery to me and the only time I have been on a public bus was last year on a bendy one in Bath with my cousin... It should be quite the adventure. Edited February 23, 2015 by Toodaloo 1
Mrin Posted February 23, 2015 Posted February 23, 2015 I tried that! and then it upset my date Chris! LOL. Many years ago there was this family friend who was in the oil business. Traveled constantly and had a girl in every port. One day he was sharing his multi-dating wisdom and he said, "never ever call them by their real names. That only invites disaster. Use the same pet name for all of them but the pet name has to be unique so as not to be offensive." The funny thing was that he had another practice - he would give each a necklace with their names in Arabic. I guess I bought them at an airport gift shop in the UAE. So you know - unique. Especially given that this was a couple of decades ago. Anyhow, one day one of them was on vacation and go into an elevator at the hotel with another woman who had the same necklace on. They began talking about their thoughtful boyfriends who had given them the gift. By the time they hit the lobby they had put 2 and 2 together and realized just how much they had in common. Best laid plans.... 3
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted February 23, 2015 Posted February 23, 2015 Initiate conversation. Don't let the guy do all the work, or the convo drag into uncomfortable silence.Touch him - guys crave touch - if you find him attractive touch him/let him touch you (not saying anything risky, just innocent touching)Laugh at his jokes.Don't bring up anything too serious that might scare him away.Let him kiss you. At the end of the night ask him if he'll walk you to your car (or another excuse to be alone with him towards the end of the date). Get close to him to show him you're comfortable with him in your space. 2
Versacehottie Posted February 23, 2015 Posted February 23, 2015 *Be Positive and excited about your own life *Just have fun, make it light and easy. *Most of all be confident. Confident in yourself and ability to give good date. Confidence is super attractive.
TigerCub Posted February 23, 2015 Posted February 23, 2015 LOL. Many years ago there was this family friend who was in the oil business. Traveled constantly and had a girl in every port. One day he was sharing his multi-dating wisdom and he said, "never ever call them by their real names. That only invites disaster. Use the same pet name for all of them but the pet name has to be unique so as not to be offensive." The funny thing was that he had another practice - he would give each a necklace with their names in Arabic. I guess I bought them at an airport gift shop in the UAE. So you know - unique. Especially given that this was a couple of decades ago. Anyhow, one day one of them was on vacation and go into an elevator at the hotel with another woman who had the same necklace on. They began talking about their thoughtful boyfriends who had given them the gift. By the time they hit the lobby they had put 2 and 2 together and realized just how much they had in common. Best laid plans.... Haha - that's funny If the pet name has to be unique isn't that as bad as remembering a name? I mean as much effort - but I guess it has a slightly easier recovery is he got it wrong. I absolutely love when tricks and schemes get discovered in the end anyways.
Author Toodaloo Posted February 23, 2015 Author Posted February 23, 2015 Let him kiss you. At the end of the night ask him if he'll walk you to your car 1. Not snogged anyone for a really long time... to be absolutely precise 15th July last year was my last snog. Before that it was before Christmas the year before... Unless you count the dogs when they are doing a "I love you and adore you and perweeeeseee can you blow raspberries on my tummy...." but those are accidental and no tongue action was supposed to be involved!!! 2. He has already said that he will meet me at the train station and make sure I get back on time and will see me off to make sure I am safe... I liked that. I liked that a lot. So call him "Poppet" in case I get his name wrong... Wear perfume and clean clothes, brush teeth, remove straw from hair and try not to get dirty on the way... Got it.
Erised Posted February 23, 2015 Posted February 23, 2015 I'm actually amazed by how impressed guys I've been out with are over simple things over being genuinely interested in what he says, laughing at his jokes, and light touches and other small flirtations. I say be yourself and go in set to enjoy yourself regardless, and that will come across. 2
bolase Posted February 23, 2015 Posted February 23, 2015 In addition to what d0nnivain said - All men like to hear the sound of their own names. Be sure to use it throughout your date. Although I think the rest of this post is sound advice, NO NO NO to this bit! It creeps me out if someone keeps using my name mid-conversation (obviously when we first meet, or to call me over it's fine). Seriously, this isn't business it's a date and you want to put each other at ease. Using someones name a lot is a known technique for keeping someone at arms length that's why you do it in business.
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