sharp9 Posted February 23, 2015 Posted February 23, 2015 (edited) So I asked out this girl from work on a date. In the months before this she had initiated some strong flirting at work. First she blew kisses my way and would make comments about how good looking she thought I was. Then she started sticking her ass out when I walked by and then started making overtly sexual comments. So I knew she had a boyfriend but hadn't realized they broke up so that's why I took a while to ask her out. So on the night of our date ("and yes when I asked her out I said date") her neighbor broke her hip and she had to take care of her daughter. Well at first I didn't realize this happened because she wasn't returning my calls. So finally at 10pm she texts me and tells me what happened (still not sure if I even believe the story). But she still doesn't call. So I texted her the next afternoon and said it's really lame that she hasn't called me yet and if she really liked me then she would have called. I told her I really liked her and that it hurt that she blew me off. Then she goes on to say that she was just looking to have a fun night with me and that she doesn't date or hookup with people she works with. So then I tell her I'm really confused because she just said she doesn't date people she works with yet she agreed to go on a date with me. I then resent a copy of the texts we exchanged at first where I asked her out on date and said I really liked her. And then she goes "oh, wow I didn't realize that, I guess I miscommunicated with you". I she also add that in our original texts I made it clear I was looking to date and not just hook up. She then goes onto to say she's sorry and didn't realize she was leading me on and all the sexual stuff she did was "just fun at work and not meant to be anything but that". For reference she is 25 years old. She said she doesn't have a lot of experience dating but all of this is just hard to swallow. I mean she has to be the most clueless, inexperienced and immature 25 year old I've ever met. This really sucks for me because I've really grown to like her and thought we going to start something. And now I find out the date that didn't happen was just going to be hanging out. Edited February 23, 2015 by sharp9
PegNosePete Posted February 23, 2015 Posted February 23, 2015 Well, lesson learned. She was only in it for the ego boost. Time to move on...
bolase Posted February 23, 2015 Posted February 23, 2015 She probably said yes at the time thinking "hangout" not "date" even though you said "date", and it slowly dawned on her that you wanted it to be romantic in some sense. I think it's more a ditzy thing than a 'stupid' thing as one poster wrote above, it's the kind of thing that has happened to me (the guys were not as obvious as you were though), where I realise a guy has romantic interest after ive been chatting to him or making plans to hangout, then going oh.... However, her making excuses (which they were - lies, for me) and letting you down in that way wasn't the right way to handle the situation. She could have made a decision earlier "Hey Sharp9, I know we had plans to go out tonight, but I have to be honest with you. I'm not comfortable with dating someone at work, having thought it through. Sorry to be a bummer. If you want to chat tomorrow about anything let me know." [ironically I am in a situation right now where I don't know if the guy I am talking to wants to take me to dinner as a friend or date. We had 2 dates, after which there was a long absence and then he said next time lets play tennis as friends. then asks me to a nice dinner.]
Author sharp9 Posted February 23, 2015 Author Posted February 23, 2015 She probably said yes at the time thinking "hangout" not "date" even though you said "date", and it slowly dawned on her that you wanted it to be romantic in some sense. I think it's more a ditzy thing than a 'stupid' thing as one poster wrote above, it's the kind of thing that has happened to me (the guys were not as obvious as you were though), where I realise a guy has romantic interest after ive been chatting to him or making plans to hangout, then going oh.... However, her making excuses (which they were - lies, for me) and letting you down in that way wasn't the right way to handle the situation. She could have made a decision earlier "Hey Sharp9, I know we had plans to go out tonight, but I have to be honest with you. I'm not comfortable with dating someone at work, having thought it through. Sorry to be a bummer. If you want to chat tomorrow about anything let me know." [ironically I am in a situation right now where I don't know if the guy I am talking to wants to take me to dinner as a friend or date. We had 2 dates, after which there was a long absence and then he said next time lets play tennis as friends. then asks me to a nice dinner.] I can see where you're coming from in your first paragraph but when we were talking about what night would be best I mentioned the idea of a daytime date because our schedules were conflicting and here is exactly what she said: "It just has to be night time, it just has to be you know, am I too needy, haha" I'm sorry but her later on trying to say she didn't realize it was a date date is just BS. And that statement proves it. I mean if we were just hanging out then what difference would it make if it was night or day.
Toodaloo Posted February 23, 2015 Posted February 23, 2015 Oh dear lordy... Now I know where I am going wrong in attracting men. I need to be a drama lama, cock teasing weirdo... Stet that. I can't be bothered. OP get a grip she is using you and doesn't give two hoots about you. Move on and find a girl who isn't such an attention seeker. 3
Author sharp9 Posted February 23, 2015 Author Posted February 23, 2015 Oh dear lordy... Now I know where I am going wrong in attracting men. I need to be a drama lama, cock teasing weirdo... Stet that. I can't be bothered. OP get a grip she is using you and doesn't give two hoots about you. Move on and find a girl who isn't such an attention seeker. Yes, I realize everything you're saying. I just posted this to vent because I'm pissed off and needed someplace I could just lay it all out.
kendahke Posted February 23, 2015 Posted February 23, 2015 So I asked out this girl from work on a date. In the months before this she had initiated some strong flirting at work. First she blew kisses my way and would make comments about how good looking she thought I was. Then she started sticking her ass out when I walked by and then started making overtly sexual comments. So I knew she had a boyfriend but hadn't realized they broke up so that's why I took a while to ask her out. So on the night of our date ("and yes when I asked her out I said date") her neighbor broke her hip and she had to take care of her daughter. Well at first I didn't realize this happened because she wasn't returning my calls. So finally at 10pm she texts me and tells me what happened (still not sure if I even believe the story). But she still doesn't call. So I texted her the next afternoon and said it's really lame that she hasn't called me yet and if she really liked me then she would have called. I told her I really liked her and that it hurt that she blew me off. Then she goes on to say that she was just looking to have a fun night with me and that she doesn't date or hookup with people she works with. So then I tell her I'm really confused because she just said she doesn't date people she works with yet she agreed to go on a date with me. I then resent a copy of the texts we exchanged at first where I asked her out on date and said I really liked her. And then she goes "oh, wow I didn't realize that, I guess I miscommunicated with you". I she also add that in our original texts I made it clear I was looking to date and not just hook up. She then goes onto to say she's sorry and didn't realize she was leading me on and all the sexual stuff she did was "just fun at work and not meant to be anything but that". For reference she is 25 years old. She said she doesn't have a lot of experience dating but all of this is just hard to swallow. I mean she has to be the most clueless, inexperienced and immature 25 year old I've ever met. This really sucks for me because I've really grown to like her and thought we going to start something. And now I find out the date that didn't happen was just going to be hanging out. Don't isht where you eat. Leave office chicks alone.
kendahke Posted February 23, 2015 Posted February 23, 2015 I can see where you're coming from in your first paragraph but when we were talking about what night would be best I mentioned the idea of a daytime date because our schedules were conflicting and here is exactly what she said: "It just has to be night time, it just has to be you know, am I too needy, haha" I'm sorry but her later on trying to say she didn't realize it was a date date is just BS. And that statement proves it. I mean if we were just hanging out then what difference would it make if it was night or day. To me, that says that she was looking to have sex, not go on a date or be your girlfriend. As I said above, don't isht where you eat.
Toodaloo Posted February 23, 2015 Posted February 23, 2015 Yes, I realize everything you're saying. I just posted this to vent because I'm pissed off and needed someplace I could just lay it all out. Your not the only one. Imagine how annoying it is to read you guys going after emotionally unstable weirdos and leaving the nice girls to get over looked. Quit wasting your time on "bints" like this. Its just not worth it. If they mess with your head walk away. 2
preraph Posted February 23, 2015 Posted February 23, 2015 She's just one of those flirtatious people who likes to kind of draw attention to herself and damn the consequences. I know this is a foreign concept to a lot of men, but sometimes women at work think it's a safe place to flirt because they know they're not going to do anything and have the excuse of working together, but they like the attention and like to flirt. There are also married women who feel it's okay to flirt since they have the built-in excuse of being married. They just like flirting and like validation and attention. 1
katiegrl Posted February 23, 2015 Posted February 23, 2015 oh dear lordy... Now i know where i am going wrong in attracting men. I need to be a drama lama, cock teasing weirdo... . rotflmao! ..............
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted February 23, 2015 Posted February 23, 2015 She sounds like a 10/10 bitch - cut her loose. If she can't figure out why you're mad she didn't call you. **** her. She's only saying she didn't realize it was a "date" because she wanted to piss you off. She knew perfectly well - she's just playing the "Oh I wouldn't go on a date with YOU anyway..." card. huuuuuuuge bitch move on. Oh yeah... don't dip your pen in company ink - not a good idea.
clevelander321 Posted February 23, 2015 Posted February 23, 2015 She obviously made up the entire hip story. part of her flaky behavior. Don't act all hurt that she blew you off. Act like you do not care.
elaine567 Posted February 23, 2015 Posted February 23, 2015 For some women flirting at work is quite common. It doesn't mean anything and few take it seriously. YOU did, and I guess when she accepted your "date", then she still wasn't taking it that seriously. Someone probably told her that you WERE serious and so she blew you off, as going on a real date wasn't ever her intention. Another scenario, is that she hasn't really got over her ex, so whilst she accepted your date, when it came down to it, she just couldn't do it. Or she is back with her ex or he was coming round that night and she wanted to see him. Dating people who have just split up, can be a nightmare, as they are often all over the place.
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