whoopermcgee Posted February 23, 2015 Posted February 23, 2015 Been dating this nice lady for over a month now and I like her quite a bit. She does, however, have this really weird tendency to thank me for a great time and 'thank' me for being so patient with her after a date. Between the the other hints and context, it doesn't take a genius to realize she's meaning about not pushing for sex. I actually kissed her on the 1st date and she told me she had a preference for taking things slow towards the end of the 2nd (even though I hadn't remotely insinuated anything at that point) For myself, I feel like I enjoy sex as much as any 25 year old guy but am not that highly sexual if that makes any sense. Even if I had this abnormally huge craving for it, I'm dating two other women at the moment and do have sex with them pretty regularly. Even then though that's really only because they made it clear to me they wanted to do it after the first few dates. I'd love to continue to see them even if they weren't comfortable with sexual relations at the moment. So no, I don't feel 'snubbed' by her in that sense if that was your first thought which I wouldn't blame. At this point though, I just sorta feel like it's undermining what we could be building towards a relationship. Maybe she means it as a compliment in an odd way, maybe she's sincere about it. As the dates string along though, it just feels like if that's her major motive to continue seeing each other, it's just not worth it. I dunno, I actually kinda laughed the first time because I was taken offguard and first few subsequent times but I'm not entirely sure what I make of it now. Anyone encountered the same experience or have insight? It seems like it would be a difficult thing to inquire with her about even indirectly.
Author whoopermcgee Posted February 23, 2015 Author Posted February 23, 2015 Maybe she's a virgin. Haha you know, a theory I hadn't considered but I highly doubt it. We've known each other long enough to brush on past relationships and from what she told me, she got out of a 2 year one not too long ago. I guess it's not exactly out of the realm of possibility but as neither of us our religious and given her comments on certain movies and such we've seen, I just really, really, doubt it.
guest569 Posted February 23, 2015 Posted February 23, 2015 At this point though, I just sorta feel like it's undermining what we could be building towards a relationship. The fact you're screwing two other women ? Lol is she aware of that? She might be a virgin or may have been hurt recently by someone pushy 2
strawberrypancake Posted February 23, 2015 Posted February 23, 2015 I wouldn't sleep with you either if I knew you were having sex with two other women at the same time. You are looking to have a relationship with this girl? Doesn't seem very genuine to me, because if you'd really like her, you wouldn't screw around with other women. Good for her for not jumping on your tramp train. 4
LifeandPerseverance Posted February 23, 2015 Posted February 23, 2015 I wouldn't sleep with you either if I knew you were having sex with two others. Yeah I feel the same way. I wouldn't sleep with you either! Don't take her for a fool--maybe she can sense something is "off" (read: you're f%^%$ these other two chicks concurrent with dating her), and that's why she's saying something. Maybe she's hoping you'll speak up. I think she's smart, frankly--I wouldn't have sex with someone who's sleeping with others. I feel like sex is best saved for commitment. Maybe this girl does, too. Or maybe she is a virgin. Or maybe, she's not a virgin but she's is inexperienced and wants her next partner--if she decides to have one again--to be someone she's committed to, who will care about her and not just the sex. I don't see her thanking you for not pushing sex as a bad thing. I see it as a good thing. Appreciate that she is appreciating you. Unless of course you're not really into her, which is definitely what your post seems to be more indicative of. If you're really into this girl, why are you sleeping with other women?! And yes--from a woman's point of view, men are pushy about sex. A lot of them seem to feel entitled. We tell them NO anyways, but that doesn't mean we forget the entitlement attitude surrounding men and pushing for sex. 2
PegNosePete Posted February 23, 2015 Posted February 23, 2015 I think she's thanking you for not pushing for sex, because when men have done so in the past, they have succeeded and used her just for sex. And if you did, it would totally work. So she is glad that you're not "one of those guys". I doubt she would be saying that if she knew about the other women you're having sex with. In fact I doubt she'd ever talk to you again if she knew. 3
losangelena Posted February 23, 2015 Posted February 23, 2015 For myself, I feel like I enjoy sex as much as any 25 year old guy but am not that highly sexual if that makes any sense. Even if I had this abnormally huge craving for it, I'm dating two other women at the moment and do have sex with them pretty regularly. LOL at this statement. "I'm not that highly sexual, even though I'm screwing two different women on the regular." Ah, to be a 25-yo man. Anyway, OP, I think her thanking you is simply an acknowledgement that a lot of men wouldn't have stuck around this long without trying for sex. She sees you as different maybe than other guys she's dated. I wonder, if you weren't doin' it with these other women, if you'd be so nonchalant about keeping it so non-physical with her. It's hard for us to speculate as to what it means. If I were you, I'd do you level best to find some easy-breezy was to bring it up. The next time she thanks you, be like, "haha, sure, what are you thanking me for, exactly?" Getting her to verbalize it will be a good way for y'all to start a conversation about it. I don't even know what you'd say—what do you want from her and your relationship? I can't quite get that sense from your post. Do you want to wait to sleep with her? Do you want to sleep with her sooner? Are you willing to wait for as long as she is (no doubt, given your chicks on the side)? It reads like you're letting this one thing get in the way of a potentially great thing. How are the rest of your interaction?
elaine567 Posted February 23, 2015 Posted February 23, 2015 I feel sorry for her because no doubt she thinks you respect her and want a relationship with her, when all along you are sleeping with another two women, Do they know you are sleeping around? or have you now got three women all thinking you respect them and that they are in monogamous, exclusive relationships with you? 1
AVarma Posted February 23, 2015 Posted February 23, 2015 Damn you're sleeping with two women and still managed to convince a third to go out with you? What's your secret? 1
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted February 23, 2015 Posted February 23, 2015 I don't think he's doing anything wrong. If he's not in a committed relationship with any of them, no harm no foul. That's what condoms are for anyway. Maybe his arrangement with the 2 other girls is more casual - but he likes this one girl on an emotional level much more? She might be waiting for a relationship to have sex - which is a problem if you want to test the waters with her before you dive in. Tricky situation. Given your situation with other girls at the moment, she might not be a good idea to pursue - you might just end up hurting her.
guest569 Posted February 23, 2015 Posted February 23, 2015 Right or wrong depends on whether each of these women are aware of their predicament. I mean, it's not a great start to a relationship if you're already having sex with others.
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted February 23, 2015 Posted February 23, 2015 Right or wrong depends on whether each of these women are aware of their predicament. I mean, it's not a great start to a relationship if you're already having sex with others. Obviously he should stop seeing the other 2 before he moves into relationship territory (or even thinking about it) with her. Both guys and girls multi-date though. Women are just as guilty having a Guy who is a 10 to rail them, while going out with "relationship material" guys and making them wait.
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