asdf24 Posted February 23, 2015 Posted February 23, 2015 So I met her about two years ago at work. It was a fast food chain and she was the new girl. She was very attractive and everyone noticed her and did not look 16 at all. She was apparently really attracted to me too. I was the older guy by three years. She thought I was amazing for some reason. She sought me out to be some badboy or player. I don't consider myself to be neither I'm just me. I made the first move after numerous people told me she wanted that. I was initially hesitant to because of the age difference and her being in high school still. I gave her my number we texted throughout the whole day and she tells me she just wants to hook up and nothing else. I was kind of shocked but was completley up for it.. this girl is very attractive. What teenage guy wouldn't want this? We started hooking up and it was amazing I know I was her best and she just kept coming back for me. I could tell her feelings were growing. We got in an arguement one time and I just told her we are done.. she was crying the next day at work. I apologized. This surprised me too because she acted as if she didn't care about anything and was emotionless. She didn't talk to me for a week or two at work. One day she sees me getting off work and she comes up and grabs me says I don't want to talk about it starts kissing me. This was the first time I hurt her. I didn't know I could hurt her because of the image she produced for herself. A premiscious girl that doesn't give two craps about 'feelings'. So I show her a little more affection and she doesn't reciprocate really and I go back to just treating her like an object because I thought thats all she wanted.
Author asdf24 Posted February 23, 2015 Author Posted February 23, 2015 I remember a couple months after that after we had sex she started crying while I was asleep. This happened twice. She never told me why and tried to deny it even though it was so blantantly obvious. I made her my girlfriend that next week. She asked me if 'I was sure?' as if she wasn't good enough for me. We had a couple drinks one night and she was telling me 'Never leave me..' 'I'll wait for you I'll always be here for you if you want me.' Asking if I was cheating on her. All these insecurities came out I comfort her and told her I'm not going anywhere. We were floating on clouds I never felt so amazing when I was with her. She made me feel so masculine so in charge. Never been that happy in my life. Never. I never told her this or showed it though. Felt is was going to end and I would just be hurt. Felt I would lose my edge too. We dated for a week before things came to a drastic hault. She came over one day and was drinking with me just having a good time at the pool. She drank entirley too much. It got to the point where she was almost unresponsive and vomitting everywhere. I called her friends to come help. They ended up calling her parents. Note I told you we were forbidden from seeing each other. Her parents came to my house minutes later. She was hysterically crying when she found the news. Her covered in vomitt she suddenley sobered up pretty quickly. And we both just sat there in my bathroom awaiting for them to come and knew this was probably the last time we were going to see each other. We were just both in shock. Parents came in held me down in my own house punched me a couple times.. they called the police and while this was happening she was having an anxiety attack just throwing a tantrum freaking out. The EMT's came up stairs and said she was not that drunk and this is just emotional for her. Asking her if she has any mental disorders or anything. They left and drove her home. They made her quit her job with me that same day. Was absolutley devastating. Three months go by and I have no contact with her. I finally tracked down a social media page of hers and sent her a message telling her I want her to move on and forget about me and take me off the pedastal. She never repsonded but it showed me that she read it. I didn't know what to think. I saw her 6 months from that event at my house on the road. She ran out of her car in the middle of an intersection and was crying could barely speak. Said pull over pull over to the side. She was so happy to see me. She couldn't even form a complete sentence I've never seen anything like it. She wasn't wearing makeup she was going to her knew job that she said she just got a month before that. I kept it cool and didn't hound her or anything. I didn't give any confirmation that we would see each other again. But one of the first things she did say was I can't be your girlfriend though. I asked why not and she responded saying I'm not good at that. We did see each other ran into each other here and there.
Author asdf24 Posted February 23, 2015 Author Posted February 23, 2015 I ran into her at a local 7/11 a week later. We saw each other hooked up in my car a little talked were catching up. This older man approaches my car saying we are both beautiful and he wanted to buy her stuff. I didn't really react but just laughed. But he was serious he gave her a $50 bill and she put it in her bra. He left to go get a pen and paper to write down her number. I laughed some more I grabbed the $50 and kicked her out of my car and drove off. I drove right around back it was an intended joke. She was gone before I turned around. She took off quick! I immediately thought OOH **** what have I done. I have no contact with this girl.. We didn't talk for two months. I found out she got a new job somewhere else from her old work. I came in one day in my uniform to her new work (in the police academy at this time) and apologized. She looked surprised to see me and she looked angry at first. Then she looked very emotional. I apologized and explained that I came right back and it was only a joke but it was rude and stupid on my part. Told her I had to track her down. I asked her for her number again.. she responded with "i'll just get your number". Three days later she calls me while I was working. I couldn't answer. She left a voicemail sounded very uneasy. Cleared her throat and says 'hey ummm..' then sighs and hangs up. I call her back she cries and says 'I don't know why I am even calling you! I shouldn't be!' We made plans to meet at the beach the next day. I see her and play things cool. She was quiet the whole time. We get to the end where she was about to take off.. She starts crying getting emotional saying I don't care about her.. saying she would do anything in the world for me. Saying I'll wait for you.. I tell her let me graduate the police academy in may. That was about 10 months away. We will make it happen. She sighs and says what am I supposed to do till then?? I said if we want to be together we have to do this right. She was willing to run away with me that night. I went home in shock because this girl loves me that much. We casually start talking again and it led to making plans to move out. We were getting closer and closer. She randomly asks me one night 'What are we?" I could tell she wanted me to say she was mine and we are exclusive. I'm in the police academy only focused on that and knowing it might cause some complications I still said You are mine. We were excited at first I knew she told her new friends and everything. Things got weird because I said we could only visit about once a month or so because it's not smart with your parents situation. Started to become a little distant and I could tell. We would msg each other every couple days. I grew suspicious of her possibly cheating because I'm used to girls hounding me with text everyday but not her just every 3 to 4 days. It made me act distant towards her. Her past came to mind when she said she was a slut before. I accused her and it crushed her I could tell. I said your past really got to me. She tried to make me jealous one time or get one above me I think. She was saying she was sleeping with five guys at once when she met me. Her count was in the 30s or something. I told her that was disgusting and slut shamed her into oblivion. I think she thought it would impress me make her look older more fun or something. She sought me out to be a big player for some reason. I know it hurt her but if that was the truth I really needed to reevaluate if I want to be with this chick. Said I need some space but apologized for calling her names the next day. I could tell I really hurt her once again. We eventually patched things up a little and she forgave me but she also became suspicious of me and accused me of some stuff that never happened and said I act like I don't want her around.
Author asdf24 Posted February 23, 2015 Author Posted February 23, 2015 We tried to talk to her parents again.. Note the last time I saw them when was they beat the **** out of me together. I went there and I was waiting out side of her house while they argued and then she said I was outside. Her parents said I was a liar.. was ugly.. was a loser.. a scumbag every name in the book. Really a blow to the ego. Her parents wouldn't even give me a chance to speak. As we got closer and closer to us moving out together and finally making the big move. She became more anxious to see me. Then when we got even closer she kind of pushed away. Everytime she would see me and when it would be time for her to leave she would end up crying and I tried to get it out of her. She said everything was fine at home though. I doubt she was telling the truth about that now though. Two weeks before we moving out she calls me out of the blue and says I think we should break up. It was stone cold. She said it so calm and collected. Shocked me. She gave comments like we're not going to love each other for ever. What am I going to do about school. I can't make the sacrifice I only could if I was going to spend the rest of my life with that person. I asked her if she wanted that comittment she said no. I told her I'm taking things one step at a time but I'm not trying to give you a ring. I said I would help her with her school as much as I can. Said she is being loyal to her parents. Her parents gave her an ultamatum of me or them and they would never talk to her again if she chose me. I said if things didn't work out I wouldnt leave her until she was established and she just needed to trust me. She responds says she doesn't want to be a burden. It ended and at the end of the call it was very dramatic. Neither us could hang up but I eventually did. She calls me the next morning hysterically crying saying she wants to work things out. I was half asleep.. she wasn't making much sense. Says she just wants me.. only I make her happy. Was a three minute phone call or so. I called her two days later she answers I ask her if everything is fine.. She responds if I'm the weird one for asking.. says "what do you expect me to be at home crying" I called her on her **** said shes putting on an act.. I know her. Blew up on her. She was with her friends at the time. Shouldn't of done that. I said I'm done playing these games your giving me mixed signals.. told her to do what she wants. The next day I realized I was pretty harsh but I was fed up and couldn't take much more stress between this and the academy. I said I'm here if you need me but she says I don't know if I want to talk to you any more at all and she needs her space. Said she thought she didn't even think I was going to react to this breakup and I was just going to forget about her move on hook up with other girls and drink with friends so I was going to try and do the same.
Author asdf24 Posted February 23, 2015 Author Posted February 23, 2015 She text me three days later.. asking if I wanted a gift that I got her back.. Reallly? Why would I want it back. Didn't know why she asked me this but maybe it was just because she wanted an excuse to talk to me. I had literally just found out an hour before that I failed one of my test at the police academy and I was getting kicked out of my class and recycled back into the next one. I was 12 weeks away from graduation. Been going at this for 8 months. I was devasted. I told her she can keep it. I tell her right after I just got kicked out of the academy and explained to her. I was ranked 2nd in the class academically which is true and just got complcent and cocky. They offered me to be the class leader for next class which is true also. She said I'm soprry to hear that. Told her right after I really miss you are we done? She said I miss you too but right now isn't a good time for either of us to be together. Meanwhile I got a security job which is cool and pays well.. Work at a couple nightclubs.. UFC fights stuff like that. Been posting a lot of pictures that my new job and shes been viewing all of them because it shows me. I really hope she just doesn't think I'm forgetting about her hooking up with other girls and what not. Just trying to show her that I'm strong doing other stuff too. Truth be told I'm devastated.. I don't know what to do I love this girl and I would do anything to have her. But then again I don't want to push her away from me. She saw me as this extremely confident guy who is witty and everyone looks up to and I never saw myself like that but she made me feel like that. I miss that feeling. Its been three weeks since the last we talked. I'm supposed to be this strong macho badboy guy and I probably shouldn't get all wimpy on her telling her this stuff. I told her a lot don't get me wrong.
Author asdf24 Posted February 23, 2015 Author Posted February 23, 2015 I ALSO REALIZE THIS TITLE DOESNT MAKE SENSE. I MEANT TO SAY I LOVE THIS GIRL I DON't KNOW WHAT TO DO.
jus d'orange Posted February 23, 2015 Posted February 23, 2015 Hey there, What you've written is really long, even by breakup post standards, but I get the sense that you're very emotional. I did read everything, however. I will be as straight as possible. You need to keep no contact with her and just continue with your life. The relationship the two of you had was extremely dramatic and damaging to all parties involved. There is no chance of a stable relationship between the two of you as far as I can tell, and while your brain and heart are focussed on getting her back, if she did come back, all of the same huge problems would return. You strike me as being very young and she is even younger. While you feel very emotional about this girl, you need to let it go and focus on yourself. Place your confidence on doing well in the police academy. Focus on other hobbies. Spend time with friends. Spend some more time growing and maturing and settling down with yourself before having a serious relationship, and please -- let this one go. If you love her, you'll realise it's the best thing for her as well as for you. Respect her wishes and let the relationship pass.
Author asdf24 Posted February 23, 2015 Author Posted February 23, 2015 It's very difficult.. I think about it all day and it's impossible to get her out of my head even staying busy.. between this and not being able to go back to the academy for a little I feel like I lost everything. I would do anything in the world to make it work. But it hurts me because she obviously won't.. she is choosing the safe route. I understand where she is coming from but it just hurts that I'm not worth it anymore to her. Never thought she would of been the one to end things.
jus d'orange Posted February 23, 2015 Posted February 23, 2015 I know it's stuck in your head, but please take my advice that this isn't a relationship with any good kind of future. Deal with the pain as best as you can. It will pass. Continue to keep the focus on yourself and find what allows you to feel somewhat at peace. Time will go by, you'll get through the academy successfully and you'll be over her eventually. As the days pass you'll feel more confident on your own and you won't regret the end of the relationship at all. If you try to get her back, this will only be prolonged. There are some relationships that need to come to an end and this was one of them. You have to go through this process; it takes time, but in the end there is no shortcut. Take the advice from all the good posts on this forum here and the time will go by.
Author asdf24 Posted February 23, 2015 Author Posted February 23, 2015 I know it's stuck in your head, but please take my advice that this isn't a relationship with any good kind of future. Deal with the pain as best as you can. It will pass. Continue to keep the focus on yourself and find what allows you to feel somewhat at peace. Time will go by, you'll get through the academy successfully and you'll be over her eventually. As the days pass you'll feel more confident on your own and you won't regret the end of the relationship at all. If you try to get her back, this will only be prolonged. There are some relationships that need to come to an end and this was one of them. You have to go through this process; it takes time, but in the end there is no shortcut. Take the advice from all the good posts on this forum here and the time will go by. I can't help but wonder what happened from then to now. Before she was willing to run away with my that night. Did she lose attraction or interest? Said before she would never give up on me.
Author asdf24 Posted March 21, 2015 Author Posted March 21, 2015 Hey there, What you've written is really long, even by breakup post standards, but I get the sense that you're very emotional. I did read everything, however. I will be as straight as possible. You need to keep no contact with her and just continue with your life. The relationship the two of you had was extremely dramatic and damaging to all parties involved. There is no chance of a stable relationship between the two of you as far as I can tell, and while your brain and heart are focussed on getting her back, if she did come back, all of the same huge problems would return. You strike me as being very young and she is even younger. While you feel very emotional about this girl, you need to let it go and focus on yourself. Place your confidence on doing well in the police academy. Focus on other hobbies. Spend time with friends. Spend some more time growing and maturing and settling down with yourself before having a serious relationship, and please -- let this one go. If you love her, you'll realise it's the best thing for her as well as for you. Respect her wishes and let the relationship pass. Do you think she fell out of love with me?
Author asdf24 Posted March 21, 2015 Author Posted March 21, 2015 I know it's stuck in your head, but please take my advice that this isn't a relationship with any good kind of future. Deal with the pain as best as you can. It will pass. Continue to keep the focus on yourself and find what allows you to feel somewhat at peace. Time will go by, you'll get through the academy successfully and you'll be over her eventually. As the days pass you'll feel more confident on your own and you won't regret the end of the relationship at all. If you try to get her back, this will only be prolonged. There are some relationships that need to come to an end and this was one of them. You have to go through this process; it takes time, but in the end there is no shortcut. Take the advice from all the good posts on this forum here and the time will go by. Do you think she fell out of love with me?
emi Posted March 21, 2015 Posted March 21, 2015 How old is she now? Maybe the fact her parents were involved contribute to how she acted
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