StillHurtin Posted April 5, 2005 Posted April 5, 2005 I know that it's probably nothing serious but my H got off work over an hour ago and he still is not home! He hasn't done this since the A (after he broke it off w/ the OW). He either calls me to tell me he has to run some errands or he comes straight home. I have called his cell twice, he hasn't answered. I can't see him working past 5:00 b/c he isn't suppose to. The other night he worked until 5:15 but he answered when I called and informed me he was just leaving. I know I should trust him, but it's hard! The last time he was working late and didn't bother calling or coming home he was w/ the OW (his past A). I am probably panicing for no reason but at least he could have respect to call me to tell me he is running late or working. Update: Sorry I posted and paniced. I was paranoid for nothing, just like me to do that. I hate being this way. H called me and said he just got a break, he did have to work late to set more merchandise up. Why can't I get over this trust issue? Whenever he tells a woman hi I don't know I get jealous. I hate this! When will this ever end?
miggsbucks Posted April 6, 2005 Posted April 6, 2005 H, A, OW <- what do these letters all mean? i guess H means Husband? Ah, does A mean Affair? well whats OW, is it Other Woman?
Author StillHurtin Posted April 6, 2005 Author Posted April 6, 2005 H is husband, A is affair, and OW is other woman. It is much faster to type that out than the whole thing. You will see a lot of that on this site, and other sites. I am still trying to figure some of the abbreviations out myself.
miggsbucks Posted April 6, 2005 Posted April 6, 2005 i dont reckon its that faster, cos you always have to pause to look for the shift key, well its prob cos ive worked at a computer all my working life and dont have to look for the letter keys, but always have to look for the shift key for some reason, thats why my posts are usually all in small caps, unless i feel like SHOUTING.. ah well panic over eh
RecordProducer Posted April 6, 2005 Posted April 6, 2005 Well it's no wonder you don't trust him. He misused your trust once. Are you supposed to be 200% a saint and trust someone who cheated on you? You can't choose how you feel, but you can choose what you do about it. Then it will influence how you feel. He deserves not to be trusted, he prove that already. But you deserve to not suffer anymore. You should learn to just not care so much. That's the secret of good marriages. Women see their husbands flirting with other women, but they don't get it. Well you're not that type. You're not a fool. But stop worrying about where he is and why he doesn't answer the phone. Pretend that you don't care. That will keep him faithful rather than if you haunt him all the time. You have to have your own life and not depend on him emotionally. That will keep your mind thinking about YOUR life and not his. You live as his shadow. You should be preoccupied with your own things. That way you'll become more challenging for him and he will respect you more. Tell him you called to let him know that you'll be out or something. Don't be at home when he comes back sometimes. Be cheerful, happy, and busy living your fun life! Get together with friends who are not housewives sometimes and go out with them. Start exercising, buy new make-up, change your hair-style, change your fashion style...make him yearn for you. It's a general advice for all wives whose worlds spin around their husbands. He should deserve your love. And all this shouldn't be faking. You should really be a happy woman without him. Your husband is just one (sometimes very small) part of your life. Not your whole life. Take from him what makes you happy; sex, his company, security, love for your kids...Throw away what makes you unhappy and frustrated! He is just one human being in this world. He can make you happy one day, cheat on you on the next day. He can come and go. But YOU can't come and go away from yourself. You and your children are your world.
latesleeper Posted April 6, 2005 Posted April 6, 2005 sorry about your still hurting. it's hard... i feel for you. it's true your H should work to deserve your love. and it's true you ought to do what would make you happy, any little thing. do something nice for yourself. be kind to yourself. after some time, perhaps you won't panic so much. i don't know when that ache would go away though... i know what you mean when you scream in your head, when will it end?! if only we can pluck out our brains and hang it up for a rest, huh? just persevere, just keep going and working on yourself, your relationship. it will get better if you continue being kind and loving to yourself. hugs.
Author StillHurtin Posted April 10, 2005 Author Posted April 10, 2005 Thank you so much for the kind words, I really appreciate it. It will take some time, I know. I need to start trusting a little more b/c life is too short to feel and act this way. Jealousy is such an ugly, green monster to have to live w/. I guess it just scares me, b/c if he did it once, will he do it again? I would hope not. I would think he would of learned his lesson the hard way b/c he knows I will not go through this again. Next time I wont be so darn willing to take him back, his a$$ will be gone, no matter how much he begs. I hope the "once a cheater, always a cheater" isn't true w/ my H.
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