sw25 Posted February 22, 2015 Posted February 22, 2015 I've never been one to jump straight into something new after a break up. I've had 3 substantial relationships and after the first 2 I took my time before really putting myself out there again. I wasn't celibate by any means but if things started getting too much or emotional then I'd break it off. Fast forward to the here and now and my last relationship came to a crashing end at new year. It was a very deep and intense thing that I had with this girl and in many ways out of all the women I've had in my life, she is the one I felt most for. Unfortunately she wasn't the nicest person deep down and it was a hurtful and damaging relationship - it all came to a head over and we separated on bad terms and haven't spoken since. We broke up for around a month a few months before Christmas and I was pretty distraught, I didn't want to see anyone else and I was pretty heartbroken, but she came back to me and wanted to give it another chance. So when we broke up for good this time I decided wasn't going to wait around and pretty much started casually seeing someone straight away. I enjoyed myself and was feeling okay about things, not thinking about me ex and getting on with life. I would have the odd tinge of sadness and I would think about our time together but I was preoccupied with having fun. However, after a brief fling I've now actually met a girl who is really lovely and I have a lot of time for. The problem is I've started thinking about my ex a lot and I don't know why? I'm not sure if it's because I actually like this girl and could see it going somewhere, but my feelings are still mixed up and partly with my ex still. I don't really know what to do, when and if these feelings will pass and if it's right to carry on seeing this new girl. She doesn't deserve to be caught up in any emotional baggage and I don't want to hurt her, which I feel is the likely outcome if we carry on as we are because as much as I enjoy her company, I know I'll buckle and run if we get close. Any advice would be sincerely appreciated. Thanks for taking the time to read.
Ieris Posted February 23, 2015 Posted February 23, 2015 You haven't spent enough time to healed after the relationship ended so its not a good idea to get involved with someone else so soon. Especially when you still have feelings for your ex, you'll be comparing her to your ex which isn't fair as she is a different person. It's always best to start a new relationship on a clean slate so you don't drag all the mess from the old one into the new one. If you still have feelings for your ex then let the new girl know where you're at so she doesn't wound up getting hurt in the process. Its always good to be honest about these things so everyone knows where they stand. You should ask yourself this... If your ex wanted you back would you drop the new girl and go back to her? If yes, stay away from all females! If no, then remind yourself why your relationship ended, not once but twice! (Or even more times) not everyone has a second chance but you did yet it still didn't work out. So do you want to try something new or dwell on something that's not going to work....?
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