runaway Posted February 22, 2015 Posted February 22, 2015 I met a girl R last weekend through a friend. She and I hit it off instantly. I absolutely loved her sense of humor, and she was so easy to talk to. The confidence she exuded and openness were also a huge turn-on. We are in similar fields and have similar interests as well. There was literally no dull moment. The chemistry I felt with her was incredibly strong. I have gone on numerous dates over the years and slept/dated a good number of women, but she left a stronger impression on me than almost all of them. I could tell she was into me as well. That night, my buddy ended up having sex with her friend, and I ended up having sex with R. I felt amazing that night because I thought I finally found that elusive total package chick. I got her number, and she told me to text her. I got no response from her after I tried to set up a date. It bothered me so much because I couldn't figure out where I lost her. I keep asking myself so many questions? "I didn't perform that well in bed that night. Was she turned off because of that?" "Did us having sex that night send a message that I just wanted her for sex, even though I actually saw her as someone I would love to go on dates with?" "Was she just looking for a one night stand that night?" I won't find out the answers unless I have a conversation with her. My friend asked the girl he had sex with to see what R thought of me. "100% not interested" was what I was told. I've been feeling so tormented for about a week now. Over the years, I have learned not to get emotionally attached to anyone, especially someone I had sex with on the first encounter/date. However, this girl came out of nowhere and has shaken me hard. She owes me nothing, but I would love to have an honest conversation with her to find out what she thought of what went down last weekend. I just want my questions answered because I want to learn from my mistakes and make sure I don't screw up next time I meet a girl like her. I know where I can find her. Some friends think nothing good will really come out of this. And there are some who think I might as well give it a try. I find it hard to make a rational decision right now, so I would love to see what you guys think.
Buddhist Posted February 22, 2015 Posted February 22, 2015 I disagree with your friends about the nothing good comment. But I agree it's unlikely she will suddenly change her mind about you. If she means that much to you, go for it. It will do no harm and you might get answers. Just do it gently and with some discretion. If you know where to find her, go there, ask her is she has a minute for a private conversation. No drama, just two people chatting.
preraph Posted February 22, 2015 Posted February 22, 2015 You had one night with her and were already thinking she was the perfect woman for you. If that was conveyed to her in any way, that would have scared her off, because it's not normal to decide a person is "the one" the same day you met them. If a person is smart, they know it means the guy is in love with love and assuming you are someone you're not who fits the "ideal woman" in his fantasy. Not knowing what you did or didn't do in bed, can't make any judgments on that except to say in general, if you learned what you know off porn and tried any of that or asked for any of that on the first date, she's probably thinking you're sleazy. Usually even if a guy isn't that great on a first time, if he's affectionate and not just completely passive, a woman will give him time to improve. Sorry it happened, but you learned one valuable lesson: Just because you think everything is perfect and you'd be a perfect match has no bearing on whether she thinks it back. It's one of the more disappointing facts of life, I'm afraid. Better luck next time. Leave her alone, though. Leave with your dignity intact.
d0nnivain Posted February 22, 2015 Posted February 22, 2015 That's cold but with a response like 100% not interested she's never going to meet with you to verbally dissect that night. Chalk it up to her being flaky & move on. Make something up if you have to like you were so good in bed that she was worried it would never be that amazing again so she wanted to limit it to one perfect night.
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