corsair427 Posted February 22, 2015 Posted February 22, 2015 Im just starting to get the hang of dating now as I had my first date a year ago im 25 now, and got my first kiss last june. Ive always been attracted to girls but none said yes till recently and i have never had a girlfriend. Ive been on dates with 10 girls in the last 6 months and multiple times with all of them. so over 20 total dates. The dates always go well and they say they want to see me again but eventually stop texting or never initiate anything else with me so I back off (I dont want to push them) So why are they loosing interest? Am I not being sexual enough? Is it okay to flirt or be affectionate with my dates? Im a good guy and love romance and everything but I dont want to creep them out or scare them off by being sexual, because I always hear girls talk about creeps who hit on them and only want sex, so I dont want to be that guy. But could this be the reason why im loosing so many great girls? I dont even think i would know how to be sexual during a date, I was never really taught. What should I try and where should I begin? Is it okay and am I allowed to do something like that on a date?
alphamale Posted February 22, 2015 Posted February 22, 2015 what exactly do you think girl are made for?
Author corsair427 Posted February 22, 2015 Author Posted February 22, 2015 Well, I just need to be certain, because there is a reason why none of these girls stick, and im trying to figure this out. I wasnt treated well growing up by girls so I just kinda resigned myself. But after i established myself and my career I want to focus on this. Im just not sure what im allowed or not allowed to do on a date. Im attracted to girls big time but because of my upbringing i have always held back. But yet my buddies go out all the time and talk of all the girls they get and keep. Granted the girls I date are from online but thats because I cant approach in the real world.
elaine567 Posted February 22, 2015 Posted February 22, 2015 Forget about the sex, one step at a time, have you kissed any of them?
Buddhist Posted February 22, 2015 Posted February 22, 2015 If the first date is going really well go for a kiss at the end of it. If that goes well then make sure you contact her for a followup date a few days later. That should tick all the boxes for her and then she is more likely to reciprocate your interest after the 2nd date. 1
Author corsair427 Posted February 22, 2015 Author Posted February 22, 2015 I have the courage now to go for the kiss and the dates always go well. But after what happened to me this summer when I told a girl who i took out 5 times who came after me and gave me my first kiss ever completely destroyed my heart I am very weary and I dont text unless its to make a date. Even then I wait for her response after the date that way I will know for certain her interest level, if she doesnt text then I know to let it go. The last date i went on last week went awesome! We honestly got along great, i had her laughing and we held hands on the walk to my car, I kissed her as i dropped her off and told her to text me. Nothing for 3 days so i asked her if her sundays were free (because shes busy) she quickly replied "im in DC".....i said, "Well i meant in general, just thinking of a day your not so busy" I left it at that and she hasnt responded yet. This is usually how it ends up with these girls. Plus the last one was our second date.
Buddhist Posted February 22, 2015 Posted February 22, 2015 Broken heart - we are all scared of that. But truthfully there is no way to know ahead of time if that is going to happen or not. Yes, people start making up all sorts of silly rules to ensure they are not hurt again. But then someone comes along who follows all the rules and still hurts them. Getting hurt is what happens when you date. That's true for both men and women. Better to just find a way to deal with it when it does happen. You're getting there, it's just frustrating that's all. If you call for a follow up then always be specific. Do you want to---------on -------. I'll meet you at -------. The more specific you are the less chance they'll flake on you. This is why sales people always get people to agree to something specific, it's more likely to go ahead then. But there is always the chance they flake.
Author corsair427 Posted February 22, 2015 Author Posted February 22, 2015 I am very specific and never had a girl flake on a date. They just dont stay around or text or show any form of interest. If they liked me they would also ask about dates. I have people asking me when i am going to settle down with one of the girls i am dating because this online thing has been going on for quite awhile now. I tell them its not my decision, these girls just dont stick around. They say if its 2 or 3 then dont worry and keep trying. But its been quite few like 10. I was never taught how to date or what to do or say so im at a loss of what to do other than to be friendly but then people tell me i cant be too friendly or she will just think of me as a friend and not a lover. But if i show too much interest she will freak out and say im too attached then run, but then if i dont show enough then they think im not interested. Why are they so complicated? Why am i able to like a girl im with and not care about silly little things like that?
Buddhist Posted February 22, 2015 Posted February 22, 2015 Because you are a different person to them. No-ones ever taught how to date, it's something that we just all figure out. It could be a thousand things but without going out on a date with you, we'll have no idea what they are. All we have is the information that she seems into you, then suddenly she's not. I can only assume from this that perhaps you are pursuing women who aren't all that attracted to you. We all do this. Some people are into us enough to give us a chance, but it doesn't mean they are smitten. While others become scary infatuated and make us regret going there. Everyone likes being out on a date, and it's easy to give doe eyes to each other, hold hands and enjoy the experience. But requires a higher level of commitment to do it again. That's all I've got for you. But stick around someone else might have more insight.
Author corsair427 Posted February 22, 2015 Author Posted February 22, 2015 I get what you said, but the fact is i have had zero girls in my lifetime attracted to me or like me,....ever......its making me think. A girlfriend is something ive always wanted, but never able to achieve. My friends seem to attract just fine and the girls stick around not just a few weeks. Guys 10 years older than me are telling me how they pulled a 21 year old like it was a piece of cake. Its just depressing me really and i want answers, i want some honesty. What is the problem. I wish I had the girl that was overly attracted to me as you say! I think that would be great.
Author corsair427 Posted February 23, 2015 Author Posted February 23, 2015 BTW this is my dating profile OkCupid]OkCupid | Corsair427 / 25 / Gibsonia, Pennsylvania | Corsair427 / 25 / Gibsonia, Pennsylvania
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted February 23, 2015 Posted February 23, 2015 Your profile is solid. I think your game just needs work.
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