smellysocksuni Posted February 22, 2015 Posted February 22, 2015 Me and a friend have both recently become single at pretty much the same time, and we spend a lot of time talking about the dumpers - what are they thinking? Why do they do this/that? For instance, his ex sent him an extremely formal email asking him to return a bag - a very formal, business like email. Very odd, to me. Why do dumpers act cold? Is it because they are no longer caring? Is it to spare their own hurt?
regine_phalange Posted February 22, 2015 Posted February 22, 2015 (I highly dislike the word "dump" and all its' paragogues.) The "cold" mail is probably because she tried not to stir his feelings for her. It's considerate actually, if you think about it. 1
Author smellysocksuni Posted February 22, 2015 Author Posted February 22, 2015 (I highly dislike the word "dump" and all its' paragogues.) The "cold" mail is probably because she tried not to stir his feelings for her. It's considerate actually, if you think about it. I suppose so - pretty mature.
Darrk23 Posted February 22, 2015 Posted February 22, 2015 Its hard to tell what it is going through their heads and hearts. it could be a number of things. The dumpee will never know what's going with dumper...
mightycpa Posted February 22, 2015 Posted February 22, 2015 One thing is usually for certain. They are not thinking about you. Take Mr. Formal Email, for example. He's thinking about himself and his bag, not the dumpee (with all apologies to the phelanger ). His formal email is written so that it doesn't invite more interaction than necessary with the dumpee, mainly because he's done with the RS and he doesn't want to think about it or her anymore. I think consideration is secondary to practicality. 1
CrystalShine2011 Posted February 22, 2015 Posted February 22, 2015 Very true. I did the same with my ex, I didn't want to lead him on or feed his emotions when he could be focused more on moving on and healing. It's the appropriate thing to do..I hope.
erklat Posted February 22, 2015 Posted February 22, 2015 When I dumped I felt guilty and wanted no contact from the dumpee as it would trigger more guilt. Not once I thought about their feelings.
imss_1 Posted February 23, 2015 Posted February 23, 2015 I'm about to dump my boyfriend of 5 months and I have been quite 'businesslike' to him this week too. I guess I just don't want to lead him on and let him think everything is ok/that we can work it out when I know that even though I love him, that this isn't the right relationship for us. 1
Price2Play Posted February 23, 2015 Posted February 23, 2015 Male or female I don't think there really is that much of a difference. The reasons & circumstances may be. We've gone over it in our heads a 100x & we are just ready to move on. We don't want to lead the person on or provoke any emotions. 2
TashaTudor Posted February 23, 2015 Posted February 23, 2015 Your friend should reply by saying he is returning the bag along with any other items or belongings of hers. He should clarify and make sure that she has ALL of her things back once and for all. Once she gets her stuff...drop her like sh*it in a porcelain bowl. Go no contact forever and a day.
Author smellysocksuni Posted February 23, 2015 Author Posted February 23, 2015 Your friend should reply by saying he is returning the bag along with any other items or belongings of hers. He should clarify and make sure that she has ALL of her things back once and for all. Once she gets her stuff...drop her like sh*it in a porcelain bowl. Go no contact forever and a day. Haha, great analogy.
amaysngrace Posted February 23, 2015 Posted February 23, 2015 When you're at the point of breaking up you've been disengaged and checked out long before the person getting broken up with does. They're still in it...still putting forth effort. That's why it seems like the "dumper" moves on so easily. They've had weeks and weeks, if not months, to be over you. 1
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