disrespected

[disrespected]

Hi all, this is my first time here

I broke up with GF before christmas, we got back together just after Christmas, everything was fine until last week when I broke it off again, a day before her birthday, I know the timing sucks. ( we were together a year)

the reasons for both break ups was that she was talking to guys inappropriately

by text and on FB, I noticed her hiding her cell and seen the guys pop up on her screen, I confronted her and she denied that she was doing it.

The second Time I confronted her again and she denied it, she would even take her cell to the bathroom with her.

So I did the ultimate sin and got into her cell, I knew her password as I seen her enter it once. and what I found was true, not just one guy but a few.

the one guy I know she was talking to, Ill call him "Dick" she said she would stop, but changed his name to Kim Gurl on her cell, and would chat with him while I was with her.

 

I was in love with this girl and wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, and be apart of her children's lives , the youngest even called me dad.

 

I was hoping that she would change but she didn't, I thought to myself that maybe it was what she was going through, divorce,child custody, she hadn't been with her ex husband for 3 years, but started the proceedings 3 months after we got together, so I stood beside her and supported her.

 

now that I think about it there wer a lot of Red Flags, Ill list them .

-argued about stupid stuff to me all the time, which really had nothing to do with me.

-put me down and sometimes my family and friends.

-lied to my face.

-hides her conversations, locks her cell, mine is totally open to her.

-referred me to a lot of people as a friend.

-would not acknowledge our relationship on FB, she was single, but I acknowledged our relationship.

-no pics of me on FB or when she posted on of our trips or outings, there was never a thank for the nice time (insert my name)

-got drunk almost every night,again I thought it was what she was going through

-she owns her own business, lets say a "Clinic" there were a lot of times when I said I'll drop by after business hours and she wouldn't let me.

- she accused me of driving by her business on one of those occasions , and I was at her house with her kids

-there were a lot of missing hours , she said she would be home at a certain time and never was.

 

I can go on and on, but I sum it up as she probably has always cheated on me

 

any thoughts lol

 

Disrespected

Ontario

[badpenny]

There's very little anyone can say, or indeed, needs to say.

 

Go complete No Contact, don't entertain any form of communication from her, and block every avenue possible.

 

You made the right decision; she's completely untrustwothy.

[mightycpa]

Great work. Now go get yourself a rebound so that you can cleanse emotionally.

[Satu]

All you've lost is a headache.

 

Walk forward into the sunshine.

[disrespected]

Thanks, she probably has so I might as well

[Hoosfoos]

You're free now. Let her be someone else's problem. Make your next one an upgrade and you'll never look back.

[disrespected]

thanks, I'm liking this forum thing, already making me feel better, I'm sure there is an honest woman out there, I'm in no hurry , Im pretty damaged from this last one

[CrystalShine2011]

Wow, I'm so sorry she put you through that. YOU being home with her kids.

 

That's awful. Make a gentle, clean, break with the children and get out. Never look back!!

[disrespected]

we broke up when her children were not home, and I'll never get the chance to talk to them or see them again, so I'm not sure what she has told them, it sucks cause I really bonded with them, and I know the younger ones will miss me

[Stercrazy]

I'm in the same boat. My ex had 3 kids and they all liked me. 2weeks after we broke up and NC she texted asking me to talk to her daughter that she was having a hard time. After talking to a friend who made a good point. They're her kids. They are her responsibility. They will be fine.

[quattrob]

Good on you TC to break it off. Some people never change unfortunately. These kind of people will eventually get themselves hurt.

[disrespected]

yes it is the best decision,it was unhealthy, I need to get healthy again, and for those types of women they will never have a long term relationship as they always think there is someone better out there and are always searching.

Edited February 22, 2015 by disrespected

[lalalonely]

You definitely dodged a bullet!

[disrespected]

Regarding my original post, I thought I might jot down the things I've done for her, which she did appreciate, being apart for 2 weeks now and having a clearer mind set , I think I was being used a bit.or a lot

- took her children to sports if she was working or didn't feel like going

-took her and children on trips

- got up in the morning to make lunch's and send her kids to school

-I renovated her basement, she bought all the material

-helped with household chores, dishes ect

-fixed things around her house

-cooked dinners a lot

-helped her children with homework if she worked late

 

I didn't live with her but was there a lot, but gave her space to go out with GF when she wanted, I have my own place on a lake that we would spend weekends at in the summer to fish, boat ect

 

with her I was romantic,loving and caring, we go out on dates ourselves, I would give her flowers and notes at least once a month, complimented her often and there wasn't a day that I told her I loved her, sex was great and often.

 

WOW, I feel like I was a Handy man and babysitter and FWB

 

Needed to vent that...thank you

[disrespected]

Regarding my Original post,(guess you have to click on my user name to read it, not sure how to Add the link)

I thought I might jot down a few things I've done for her, which she did show appreciation for sometimes, being apart for 2 weeks now and having a Clearer mind set I think I was just being used.

 

-took her children to their sports

-got up in the morning , made lunches and sent her children off to school

-renovated her whole basement, she paid for material

-took her children on trips

-helped her with household chores, dishes, cleaning ect

-cooked dinner a lot

-fixed things around her house

-helped her children with home work if she worked late

 

I didn't live with her but was there a lot but gave her the space she needed by herself or with her friends , I do have my own place on a Lake and we would spend weekends there in the summer, boating, fishing ect.

 

With Her I was romantic, loving.,caring and respectful, we would go on dates ourselves, I would give her flowers and write her notes, complimented her often, and told her I loved her at least once a day.and the sex was awesome and often

 

WOW, now I feel like I was a, HandymandishwasherbabysitterFWB

 

needed to vent that .Thank you

 

p.s. any advise on how to change user name? I need to change it to something happy now,

[badpenny]

.....

p.s. any advise on how to change user name? I need to change it to something happy now,

 

I would consider sending a PM to either Robert or William, but I respectfully suggest you open a new account in a different name, (You'll also need a different email address) but be absolutely sure to advise the Moderators you are doing this.

 

They may (depending on what you discuss with them) close/delete this account, or prevent access....

 

I don't know how easy it is to keep a current profile AND change your forum name....

[William]

Moderation can't change usernames and non-established members are not allowed duplicate accounts so my advice would be to continue posting until receiving established member status then abandon this account and open a new one with a username reflecting desires at that time.

 

With housekeeping out of the way, back to the topic.