Rimbaud59 Posted February 22, 2015 Share Posted February 22, 2015 (edited) Hey, I went out on a date with someone on Wednesday, she admitted she found me very attractive and was sexually attracted to me. Before the end off the date I kissed her (but it was a little awkward). I said ''I really want to kiss you'' (we were at a bus stop) and she said: '' but it's a little awkward people are around.'' So I suggested a secluded spot but her bus came. So i said '' I guess it's your lucky escape'' and she replied '' It's not as if I haven't been waiting for this moment for a long time.'' So she gestured me to kiss her (she said my name and batted her eyelids) and I kissed her. It was so hurried though, it was a bad few kisses. I just texted her: ''Hey *****, are you free to get together next week?'' And she replied: ''I wish I was, but I have two essays due and I have locked myself in my room in desperation''. x I did the only thing I could do and replied: ''Sorry to hear that. Let me know if you change your mind.'' Should I take this as legitimate or as being blown off? I know she had an essay due, but she told me it was 19 days till it was due, so it would be about 16 days now. I've deleted her number, so I don't reach out to her again and I'll wait for her, but it's quite nerve-wracking as I really like this girl. Thanks for help in advance. Edited February 22, 2015 by Rimbaud59 Link to post Share on other sites
GTR King Posted February 22, 2015 Share Posted February 22, 2015 Well she said she was busy and if she really wanted to see you she would of suggested a date she can do. You should of kept her number and texted her one more time but now you gotta wait till she texts you... Link to post Share on other sites
Gary S Posted February 22, 2015 Share Posted February 22, 2015 Cut down on the texting and call on the phone for a date. Texting is one of the poorest forms of communication known to man. I'd call her in a week and negotiate... again, this is much easier to do over the phone. Ask her if she would like to get together again? If she says yes, ask her what he schedule is like. Have a whole date plan in mind, be ready to confirm a day and time. If you get off the phone without a time and day, that means you don't have a date, and then you can write her off. Cut down on the texting guys, voice is much more effective. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted February 22, 2015 Share Posted February 22, 2015 Hey, I went out on a date with someone on Wednesday, she admitted she found me very attractive and was sexually attracted to me. Before the end off the date I kissed her (but it was a little awkward). I said ''I really want to kiss you'' (we were at a bus stop) and she said: '' but it's a little awkward people are around.'' So I suggested a secluded spot but her bus came. So i said '' I guess it's your lucky escape'' and she replied '' It's not as if I haven't been waiting for this moment for a long time.'' So she gestured me to kiss her (she said my name and batted her eyelids) and I kissed her. It was so hurried though, it was a bad few kisses. I just texted her: ''Hey *****, are you free to get together next week?'' And she replied: ''I wish I was, but I have two essays due and I have locked myself in my room in desperation''. x I did the only thing I could do and replied: ''Sorry to hear that. Let me know if you change your mind.'' Should I take this as legitimate or as being blown off? I know she had an essay due, but she told me it was 19 days till it was due, so it would be about 16 days now. I've deleted her number, so I don't reach out to her again and I'll wait for her, but it's quite nerve-wracking as I really like this girl. Thanks for help in advance. Sorry but yeah pretty much. Unless she is playing some silly game and wants to see how hard you chase her....which is dumb and if that's her game, you shouldn't want her anyway. If she were interested, she would have time to see you...trust me on that one. I think you know that too. I mean come on, the essay's due date is more than two weeks away! NEXT! Link to post Share on other sites
CrystalShine2011 Posted February 22, 2015 Share Posted February 22, 2015 It sounds pretty realistic to me! I wouldn't read into it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
soph-walker Posted February 22, 2015 Share Posted February 22, 2015 It sounds pretty realistic to me! I wouldn't read into it. I agree with this, you've been quite vague about suggesting to meet up again. Would leave it a couple of days and then ask her outright with a time and date to meet up, you'll hopefully get more of a feeling of her stance? Link to post Share on other sites
soyou Posted February 22, 2015 Share Posted February 22, 2015 Study is important. You should be happy that she's such a smart girl thatshe is making effort in building her own future. I remember whenever my finals//mid-terms at the universiry were coming. I'd request my boyfriend of that time to back off for at least two weeks and let me focus on my study. What you can do is just to man up and ask her a straight and direct question "Hey ABC, even though we havent met long, I do really like you a lot and I'd like to take you you again after your essay deadlines. If you dont see me in the romantic light, I'd appreciate it very much if you could let me know so that I dint continue to bother you or waste your time" Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted February 22, 2015 Share Posted February 22, 2015 Study is important. You should be happy that she's such a smart girl thatshe is making effort in building her own future. I remember whenever my finals//mid-terms at the universiry were coming. I'd request my boyfriend of that time to back off for at least two weeks and let me focus on my study. What you can do is just to man up and ask her a straight and direct question "Hey ABC, even though we havent met long, I do really like you a lot and I'd like to take you you again after your essay deadlines. If you dont see me in the romantic light, I'd appreciate it very much if you could let me know so that I dint continue to bother you or waste your time" Oh good lord I don't agree with that advice at all...WAY too intense...especially after only one date! Link to post Share on other sites
soyou Posted February 22, 2015 Share Posted February 22, 2015 Oh good lord I don't agree with that advice at all...WAY too intense...especially after only one date! Guessing and assuming are worse. If a person is not interested in after the first date, it's not likely that she's going to change her mind but stringing him along. He's a man, not a pussy. He can do this!! Ask for the answer he has been assuming. Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted February 22, 2015 Share Posted February 22, 2015 Guessing and assuming are worse. If a person is not interested in after the first date, it's not likely that she's going to change her mind but stringing him along. He's a man, not a pussy. He can do this!! Ask for the answer he has been assuming. No he does NOT need to "ask"....they had ONE date. If she never responds back to his last text...her **silence** tells him everything he needs to know. She's not into him. Common sense!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rimbaud59 Posted March 1, 2015 Author Share Posted March 1, 2015 (edited) Thanks for the replies. Based on the replies I received, I contacted the girl in question that night and asked whether she was ill-disposed to meet up in general? She replied: Meeting up in general is good. It's just that I have two essays, I'm going to the ball [read: party] and I might be missing work because I'm super stressed.. So I left it at that. I then saw her in class on Thursday. I spoke to her, she started teasing me, I teased her back; and then she sat next to me in the seminar. She then proceeded to play with the label inside my jumper (the one at the back by your neck) and try to put it right. How should I proceed? Are these sign of attractions? Etc. I'm still waiting for her to reach out to me in person, but it's yet to happen. She never has once proceeded to initiate, despite admittedly having attraction for me. I don't know what to do. Should I wait? Should I initiate? Edited March 1, 2015 by Rimbaud59 Link to post Share on other sites
fitnessfan365 Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 To be honest, I think you killed her attraction when you asked her permission to kiss her. If it wasn't a good time, you simply wait until you have the opportunity to really kiss her, and then just go for it. Girls like confidence and guys that lead. BTW - Any time a woman doesn't offer some sort of opening like a re-schedule or a least a sentiment about wanting to do it again when she has more time, she's blowing you off. Link to post Share on other sites
Hawaii51 Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 Patience. If you can walk down there, you can F em' all. Link to post Share on other sites
fred123 Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 No he does NOT need to "ask"....they had ONE date. If she never responds back to his last text...her **silence** tells him everything he needs to know. She's not into him. Common sense!! if only this was as easy. what about the girls who arent into us but still continue to text and say things like i do like you and i do wanna see you but insert "excuse" Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 if only this was as easy. what about the girls who arent into us but still continue to text and say things like i do like you and i do wanna see you but insert "excuse" Again common sense. If you're asking a chick out and she is continuously busy, giving you excuse after excuse as to why she can't, even though she is still texting, she clearly has an *agenda* that doesn't include you, and therefore you should stop asking her out, stop replying to her texts, and move on. Interested people act interested, which means that no matter how "busy* someone is...if he/she is really into you, at the very LEAST they will have time to spend one hour with you over lunch or a drink after work or school. They will "want" to spend that time...because they're into you! I don't understand what happened to common sense and why it's so under-utilized these days. Boggles the mind... Link to post Share on other sites
fitnessfan365 Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 I don't understand what happened to common sense and why it's so under-utilized these days. Boggles the mind... Haha.. Definitely a rare commodity these days. Personally, I don't chase women. I make my intentions known and try to set up a date. If she says "maybe" or talks about being too busy I take away the offer. "We can do it some other time when you're more sure of your schedule." If she doesn't try to re-schedule right then and there I say "Gotta run, but get in touch when your schedule is more definite". Then I get off the phone and never contact her again. As you say, women make it pretty easy for guys they're genuinely interested in and won't drop out of a guy's life if they want to spend time with him. So all chasing and pursuing does is show her that you're too invested and needy. Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 When someone is that busy and you are thinking of them - why wouldn't you drop off a meal for her? Just call when you have it at her doorstep and leave it at the door so not to waste her precious time. Doing something nice and unexpected goes a long way. Ask her out for after her papers are due. And CALL - no text! Text is so impersonal! Link to post Share on other sites
fitnessfan365 Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 When someone is that busy and you are thinking of them - why wouldn't you drop off a meal for her? Just call when you have it at her doorstep and leave it at the door so not to waste her precious time. Doing something nice and unexpected goes a long way. Ask her out for after her papers are due. And CALL - no text! Text is so impersonal! That is something that a boyfriend does for his girlfriend. Not a guy that is in the beginning stages of dating a girl. Making a grander gesture like this to a girl you barely know who won't even commit to a date with you is just plain creepy. What's next, a singing telegram? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 Haha.. Definitely a rare commodity these days. Personally, I don't chase women. I make my intentions known and try to set up a date. If she says "maybe" or talks about being too busy I take away the offer. "We can do it some other time when you're more sure of your schedule." If she doesn't try to re-schedule right then and there I say "Gotta run, but get in touch when your schedule is more definite". Then I get off the phone and never contact her again. As you say, women make it pretty easy for guys they're genuinely interested in and won't drop out of a guy's life if they want to spend time with him. So all chasing and pursuing does is show her that you're too invested and needy. You got it right fitnessfan... I actually think ideally BOTH people should be pursuing "each other" for it to work. What I meant is just what you said "I make my intentions known." Oh how I wish more men had it in them to do that!! Now THAT is a confident man! Which women love. Ask a woman out and then plan the date.....after that, assuming you click, BOTH should be participating...and "pursuing" each other. Not chasing cause that implies one person is running away and the other needs to catch them. But pursuing each other? To me that means both people participating in getting to know each other, developing be relationship, etc. But often times that's not what happens. The woman doesn't allow for the man's participation. Take that female poster's post earlier about having ONE date with a guy two nights ago, and already she is sending him "good morning" texts, etc. Not ever allowing him the opportunity to even think about her, wonder about her, miss her. Then she wonders what happened to his interest! It goes both ways. You get back what you give...just don't give too much or you risk being seen as needy and desperate just like you said. It'd a delicate balance...it's not easy! You are a very wise man fitnessfan... Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 That is something that a boyfriend does for his girlfriend. Not a guy that is in the beginning stages of dating a girl. Making a grander gesture like this to a girl you barely know who won't even commit to a date with you is just plain creepy. What's next, a singing telegram? LOL @ singing telegram!!! Nearly spit my coffee out! Link to post Share on other sites
fitnessfan365 Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 LOL @ singing telegram!!! Nearly spit my coffee out! Haha.. An actual sense of humor. Plus I know that you've got a good head on your shoulders too. If you're as hot as I think you are, that's a triple crown winner. Makes me think of the scene from Ferris Bueler's Day Off. "I heard that you were feeling ill. Headache, fever, and a chill. I came here to help restore your pluck, because I'm the nurse that likes to F..." Hahahaha. Now if a woman dressed up like a sexy nurse and said that to me at the door, I might make an exception. Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 Haha.. An actual sense of humor. Plus I know that you've got a good head on your shoulders too. If you're as hot as I think you are, that's a triple crown winner. Makes me think of the scene from Ferris Bueler's Day Off. "I heard that you were feeling ill. Headache, fever, and a chill. I came here to help restore your pluck, because I'm the nurse that likes to F..." Hahahaha. Now if a woman dressed up like a sexy nurse and said that to me at the door, I might make an exception. Another LOL at Ferris Bueler..great flick!! And thanks for the compliment...right back at ya! Link to post Share on other sites
fitnessfan365 Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 Another LOL at Ferris Bueler..great flick!! And thanks for the compliment...right back at ya! I feel like I'm on an episode of Dating in the Dark. Aside from The Mole (first two US seasons with Anderson Cooper) it was the only other reality show I had any interest in. Takes three men and three women sticking them in a pitch black room. They get to know each other based on personality alone. Then at the end of the episode, it's revealed what the other person looks like. I loved it because men are always blamed for being far too visual and it shined a light on how looks are equally important to women. Based on your personality, I already would have had your number Katie. Shame you probably don't live in Northern California in the Bay Area. Haha Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 I feel like I'm on an episode of Dating in the Dark. Aside from The Mole (first two US seasons with Anderson Cooper) it was the only other reality show I had any interest in. Takes three men and three women sticking them in a pitch black room. They get to know each other based on personality alone. Then at the end of the episode, it's revealed what the other person looks like. I loved it because men are always blamed for being far too visual and it shined a light on how looks are equally important to women. Based on your personality, I already would have had your number Katie. Shame you probably don't live in Northern California in the Bay Area. Haha And if I didn't have a boyfriend, I would have given it to you too! ;) Uh oh, are we breaking forum rules? Don't recall reading anything about flirting with other forum members....lol Link to post Share on other sites
fitnessfan365 Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 And if I didn't have a boyfriend, I would have given it to you too! ;) Uh oh, are we breaking forum rules? Don't recall reading anything about flirting with other forum members....lol Rules are made to be broken. Link to post Share on other sites
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