Lakespookie Posted April 5, 2005 Posted April 5, 2005 Now i belive that love is "Giving someone the power to destroy you and hoping that they never will" a couple years ago i met a girl who would turn my life upside down maybe it was the mother issues caused by not having a mother or mother figuer maybe its the fact that i hadn't expirenced true love from anyone idk but one day i met this girl and my life would never be the same. eventhough i had never expirenced love it was the one thing i belived in, it was that thing that gave me hope and drove me, you know every one belives in something for me it has always been love. as the month went by i realized what it was like to love someone unconditionaly to care more about someone than anything else including my self and to feel the same storm of emmotion's back from someone else. thats when i learnd what love really was. yet now im faced with a dilema that person who showed me what love is hassent spoken to me in about a yr! and the last time i spoke to her it was her telling me that she never had fellings for that she never LOVED me some how i cannot accept that i looked into her eyes almost every day i saw the fire the emmotion the passion. ("The eyes are a window to a person's soul" some can see that emmotion some can't its a gift but none the less the signs are there all you have to do is look and not look at them but into them. those who can see it know what im talking about.) yet for some reason she denied the emmotion utterly and completly the people who feel like me all have he same reaction how can someone just turn off the feeling that which stirs us to our soul is like a light switch for them. i will never stop loving her i know this my soul tells me this the void i feel is more than enough indication. The funny thing is it cant be explained unless you've felt it you wont know what it is or that its ever missing. What a dilema how do you go on when someone makes you question the one thing that you belive in life. ive been told it gets better with time but the void i feel the emptyness the darkness the dispair it grow's with every fleeting moment of time that passes me by. and then you see there is only one conclusion It will never be gone the pain the hurt the hoplessness the agony it will always be there just as i will always smile when i smell her perfume, i will always cry when i wake from a dream with her because it's gone and its not real and if i live in this sorrow for eternity i wouldn't wish it any other way it truly was a great statment "It is better to have loved and have lost than never to have loved at all" but by the same token "Ignorance is Bliss" and so those who have never expirence true love tell me it will go away time will take care of it to the nonbelivers i say find love then tell me it wil go away. And so i could pose a question How can someone deny the love thats there a true love? They can't they deny what they feel becaue there scared to feel it they know that it will consome them like it has me so the deny emmotion. And so they are left unhappy yeah they will replace that person but deep down inside there is no doubt its not the same the spark they felt before is not there but they will accept it the will deny love and say we got it wrong that its a compromise "i say your scared scared of admitting that you dont feel what you felt and that maybe you never will". So now i ask all here at loveshack.org what do you feel - + it dosent matter i know what i feel but tell me what you feel tell me what you belive am i crazy am i normal hey maybe im delutional or maybe i had an epiphany.
HokeyReligions Posted April 5, 2005 Posted April 5, 2005 Love is different for everyone. There is no such thing as unconditional love between partners. There is between parent / child. I'm sorry you are hurting, but only you can move yourself forward and only you can make up your mind about finding another love and letting this one go. Apparently she wasn't really in love with you and has moved on herself. When you are ready to let go and move forward, you will, and you won't feel like you are settling when you open yourself to a new love and embrace it and nourish it and receive the same love in return.
clone Posted April 5, 2005 Posted April 5, 2005 i feal yea on this issue man. Waken up after a dream u had about them and only realising its not true. Haha the statement about giving them the power to destroy and hoping the dont is one way to look at it. And its very true they cand estroy a human being into a million pieces like myself and it seems they dont even thik twice about it. Strange how one person could do that to another person. But anyhow what i think and is coming more clear is that the other person doesnt stop loving you but the type of poeple who do that type of breakup are poeple who hide and run from there problems. My ex is prime example of that and her mother has the same history of that. Once it goes ruff and hard times, they shut the other person away and forget they were alive. Its brutal man and wish i could say something to help u but im dealing with same problems. best of luck to you
Author Lakespookie Posted April 5, 2005 Author Posted April 5, 2005 yea now if only i could have a desire for something worth nouroshing lol notebook really dosent help me right now lol
Author Lakespookie Posted April 6, 2005 Author Posted April 6, 2005 yeah clone i agree with ya and well im just blah right now but im dealin lol
Author Lakespookie Posted April 6, 2005 Author Posted April 6, 2005 wow i was hoping more that 2 people would respond with theree ideas of love lol
WithOrWithoutYou Posted April 10, 2005 Posted April 10, 2005 What is love? Is that all you want to know? Heh. Where do I start? Love is a great many different things, and can't really be summed up in any one line I don't think. Love is respect, kindness, and giving of yourself to another. Love is trust that a person special to you will not betray you. Love is caring more about another person, than you care about yourself, and being able to back that up with actions, rather than just words. Love is knowing that when that person you are in love with gets old, gray and ugly, that it won't matter, because inside, they will still be that person whom you love. Love is getting pleasure from making someone else happy, more pleasure than you could ever get out of doing something nice for yourself, and the feeling of knowing someone else feels the same way about you. Love is enjoying just talking with someone, and looking into their eyes, their soul, just as much or more than sleeping with them. Love is not ever playing games, or lying to that special person, even when it is expedient to do so and would help you get what you want or would make life easier. Love is not something that can be learned or manufactured, but rather something that just happens spontaneously. Love is telling someone when they are making a mistake, even when it will make them angry because of how much you care. Love is the greatest joy and excitement, but is also the greatest sacrifice and loss, and the deepest most horrible empty pain, all wrapped up into one. Love is always keeping promises, and never making them if you can't. Love is not doing things you know would hurt that other person you love, even if it is something you would otherwise want to do. Love is not even wanting to be with anyone else other than that person who you love so much. As you said, love is putting your heart completely in the hands of someone else, giving them the power to break it (and for at least a while, you along with it), and believing in them that they never will hurt you that way. Love is the height of the human experience, and also the very rock bottom. Love is about doing what it takes to make something great work, even if it isn't easy. Sometimes love is stopping at nothing to help that person who you love, even when they have lost their way and don't even know how to help themselves, and yes, sometimes love is also about letting go, closure and forgiveness. I've probably just described 5 or 10 percent of what love is. The rest, you will have to figure out for yourself, as we all do I think, since it is different for everyone. I think figuring it out though, is a lot of what life is supposed to be about and a big part of the reason we are all here, and it is the trying that makes life truly worth living. Sadly, I have also run into people who appeared to be able to "flip the switch" and go from being incredibly loving one minute, to what you describe the next. I don't understand it either. I think it has something to do with maturity level, and where those people are in their own journeys to figure out what love is, and what life is all about. I do know, based on what I was recently told by one such person (an ex of mine) who did something simlar to what your girl did, that those who flip the switch, or try, often don't realize what they are doing at the time, and deeply regret it later. But that doesn't necessarily mean they will fix it, or that they will ever come back to you. It just means that they learned a painful lesson about what love really is, at both your and their expense, and sadly, one of the ways we learn about the true nature of love is by losing it. You are paying your part for her lesson now, and she may pay it later if as you suspect, she really was in love with you as you were with her. If she was, she will eventually realize what she has done, and even though I'm sure you would be willing to hurt twice as bad to spare her that pain when and if she ever has that realization, everbody has to bear their own pain, and she will have to learn that for herself. Oh, and it doesn't go away, but that does not mean that there will not be good times, and even love again, at some point in the future. I know it is painful, and that you think you will go through the rest of your life remembering the times you had with her, and thinking about that person who you love so much - and you will - but there will be other loves in your life. You will remember all of those who you truly loved, and while you probably won't talk about them too much with your current SO, every so often, you will reflect back, and as the years go by, the sadness you feel, will slowly be replaced by a smile - good memories are good memories, even if it is of something that is gone. She will always be there, in your heart, but eventually, after enough time passes, you will give most of your heart to someone else, and realize that it can be good again. It will be different, and you will never find that same exact love again, but every relationship is different, and in some ways, it may even be better. I don't expect you to believe this now (and I wouldn't even believe it at this point in my own life if it were not for expereinces in the past I can think back to), but it is true. Best of luck to you, and if you ever do figure out how to describe all of what love is in one short, to-the-point paragraph, please let me know, because I haven't figured that out either.
sami Posted April 10, 2005 Posted April 10, 2005 Love is Love. Let me explain it once more: Love's Love.
Author Lakespookie Posted April 10, 2005 Author Posted April 10, 2005 withorwithoutyou you have truely done a great job of describing love and the problem isn't really beliving what you said but accepting it
Nostalgic Posted April 11, 2005 Posted April 11, 2005 ...baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more... (couldn't resist )
from ND Posted April 11, 2005 Posted April 11, 2005 what is love??????? wow, we know if we've been there, I guess for me love is forgiveness, patience, acceptance, I struggled with this one for a while, but that whole unconditional love deal, thats a tough one, because how do you deal with when the one you love cheats on you or things like that???????? I can't justify that as love, we ALL make mistakes, plus I think there are different degrees of love. I think the longer you are with someone the more mature that love gets, I dont know man, Yeah relationships are complicated sometimes, I think every relationship (despite how happy 2 people look together) has its problems, I also think theres that ONE person in your life that will make or break you, like the relationship from hell, that you get stuck on for a while before you realise in the end, you have to Love yourself 1st, before you meet someone capable of giving the same feelings back in return, have a great day!!!!!!!
mixwell Posted April 11, 2005 Posted April 11, 2005 Wow I really like that definition of love !! haha nice !! Originally posted by Lakespookie Now i belive that love is "Giving someone the power to destroy you and hoping that they never will"
BAKUNIN Posted April 11, 2005 Posted April 11, 2005 Love is: When both of us does not bother for not waxed legs
Author Lakespookie Posted April 11, 2005 Author Posted April 11, 2005 Thanks all for the replies hopefully more people jump in here from the other forum sections and drop there opinions too
Moose Posted April 11, 2005 Posted April 11, 2005 Love is hating every single solitary living cell your SO's body contains, but can't rest until you don't feel like that anymore......
alphamale Posted April 11, 2005 Posted April 11, 2005 The true definition of love is when you would readily give your own life for that other person.
Donut Posted April 12, 2005 Posted April 12, 2005 True love is two imperfect people accepting each other for who they are. And being willing and capable of growing together as a team.
greenhorn Posted April 12, 2005 Posted April 12, 2005 Originally posted by Donut True love is two imperfect people accepting each other for who they are Word....
Author Lakespookie Posted April 15, 2005 Author Posted April 15, 2005 i tke it growing would be the key word from that statement lol
Merin Posted April 15, 2005 Posted April 15, 2005 Originally posted by Nostalgic ...baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more... (couldn't resist ) LMAO I thought the exact same thing! Love is.. when your BF holds your hair back while you puke because you drank to much in Cancun...
ollydolly Posted April 15, 2005 Posted April 15, 2005 Technically, love is an emotional response to one's own values, when seen embodied in another person. But when one's own faults are also seen embodied in another it produces the emotion of repulsion. Hence the love/hate flip. You will be loved again as sure as the sun will rise - but will you choose wisely? Love has been too often aquainted with the heart. I think we should bring decisions about love back to the vicinity of the head (not that head). When mentally we have a good connection with someone of the opposite sex, we usually have a good love relationship.
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