Shorty00sk Posted February 22, 2015 Posted February 22, 2015 I have been dating my bf for 8 months. I'm really upset that he commented on a girls that we went to high school together picture she put on fb saying "I think beautiful is an understatement with Desiree. Much more than that : ) " I am I crazy or is that not okay?
RyanBeynolds Posted February 22, 2015 Posted February 22, 2015 That's a little bit strange to me but I don't think you should think anything of it. He is probably just being nice, although that does seem a little over the top 1
Buddhist Posted February 22, 2015 Posted February 22, 2015 Yeah you're a bit crazy, and a lot jealous. Just teasing. It's normal to kind of feel a bit put out when your guy compliments other women because there's a loaded perception that he's not saying or thinking those same things about you. Which might not be true at all. Guys don't have a lot of tact, stuff just comes out of their mouth without filtering. Mostly, it doesn't mean anything at all, just like him saying....yeah that hotdog looks tasty. It's just an uncensored thought that has lept out of his mouth. Forget it, and learn to filter it yourself, you'll hear more of it guaranteed. You only need worry when and if he starts up with.....Why can't you be as pretty as...... 1
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted February 22, 2015 Posted February 22, 2015 Its normal to be jealous I think, just keep it in check. He hasn't done anything wrong - he is allowed to compliment other girls.
Gary S Posted February 22, 2015 Posted February 22, 2015 Other than family, no, he should not be saying other women are beautiful. He can say mom's beautiful, that's okay ; If I were you, I'd start flirting with the guys on facebook... when he complains, then remind him how he called that girl beautiful. When the shoe is on the other foot, maybe he'll see the light.
RyanBeynolds Posted February 22, 2015 Posted February 22, 2015 Other than family, no, he should not be saying other women are beautiful. He can say mom's beautiful, that's okay ; If I were you, I'd start flirting with the guys on facebook... when he complains, then remind him how he called that girl beautiful. When the shoe is on the other foot, maybe he'll see the light. This is asking for trouble. You'd be better off just telling your boyfriend it bothers you.
mightycpa Posted February 22, 2015 Posted February 22, 2015 One day, after he ****s it up with you, he'll learn that he's supposed to follow that up with an even bigger compliment about you. Then it's perfectly fine.
BlackOpsZombieGirl Posted February 22, 2015 Posted February 22, 2015 Hmm, I guess I'd feel a little pang of jealousy if a guy I was in a relationship with responded to a girl's FB picture by calling her "beautiful". I do think that's a little much. He could've said, "You look nice" or something along those lines. Him thinking she's "beautiful" is a thought he should've kept to himself. If this becomes a regular thing with your boyfriend, you can tell him that when he calls other women "beautiful", "hot" or "pretty", it bothers you. Or, you can do what another member suggested and flip it around on HIM. Whenever you see a picture or a guy in real life who's awesome looking or hot, be audible about it and say so in front of your boyfriend and make sure he HEARS you saying it. This way, he can feel what it feels like to have his girlfriend noticing other attractive guys and him having to HEAR you say it. Might put things in perspective for him. I would probably just tell your boyfriend that it bothers you when he does that. If this is just an isolated incident, then just brush it under the rug and move onward. But, if he does this regularly, then you'll have to decide if you can live with being in a relationship with a guy who's going to let you know about every "hot" or "beautiful" girl he sees. .
MissBee Posted February 22, 2015 Posted February 22, 2015 I feel like doing it on FB is a little much, but otherwise I don't mind. A compliment doesn't have to mean more than what it is and I've had boyfriends compliment my friends, sister, their own friends but in person and not leaving FB comments, which I understand are there for all to see and read into and is a little more strange whereas words said in person pass.
spanishchick00 Posted February 22, 2015 Posted February 22, 2015 I don't think it is. I know he's got eyes and all, but actually saying it out loud and on facebook??? From my experience, I don't think any of my friends boyfriends, friends of friends, acquaintances have ever complimenting me on my looks, but then again they are taken and too busy looking at their girlfriend.
Winterina Posted February 22, 2015 Posted February 22, 2015 It would bother me too and I would ask him to stop. It is in a way a bit disrespectful to you, as some words, feelings and compliments are supposed to be reserved exclusively for your partner. There is really no need for compliments on physical appearance in friendships. You can be encouraging and give such compliments to someone who is recovering from illness, who is very insecure about themselves and you want to help as a friend... but just to compliment someone when they are out there seeking compliments is not good for your relationships. Men don't realise that these little seemingly meaningless things take a little bit out of your relationship...each takes just a little bit of intimacy, a bit of bond, exclusivity... and then they wonder why women cheat. Years of stuff like that, staring at other women, porn, this and that... all small things, but accumulation of those amounts to a bigger thing and pushes women away on some deep level. Creates or contributes to distrust. Brings out questions - is this the one for me. Etc. My ex used to tell me about male/female friendships (when I tell him there is nothing between me and someone): It is never "nothing". Also, many man say they choose their female friends on the basis of how attractive they are. They just like company of beautiful women. That too kind of puts that type of communication on some real frequency, not just some empty completely meaningless thing to say. I would not for now tell him anything, but see how he reacts if you compliment other guy in a similar manner on FB. "Oh wow, I never saw you this handsome before, really looking amazing, I don't know if you realise how awesome your six pack looks" ...or something like that. If you don't want to take this path then just tell him and if he repeats it then you will know the level of your relationship with him. 1
Winterina Posted February 22, 2015 Posted February 22, 2015 And it is not just that he told her she was beautiful, but the way he phrased it is just so... yeah, not right at all. 1
d0nnivain Posted February 22, 2015 Posted February 22, 2015 It's FB, not real life. Get over it. The phrasing of the compliment was over the top. So I would keep an eye on him & tell him how it made you feel But a plain compliment, delivered sincerely in person is just fine. DH & I will be going to a wedding soon. I fully expect that if the other ladies look nice, DH will compliment them. I also expect that a few of their husbands & BFs will compliment me. Under no circumstances would I believe that those words alone indicate a desire to cheat
veggirl Posted February 22, 2015 Posted February 22, 2015 I think that's wildly inappropriate! I would not be okay with my bf saying that to someone else.
preraph Posted February 22, 2015 Posted February 22, 2015 I'd ask him how he'd feel if you did the same thing with a guy.
CrystalShine2011 Posted February 22, 2015 Posted February 22, 2015 Sounds a bit strange, but I wouldn't read into it.
elaine567 Posted February 22, 2015 Posted February 22, 2015 Unless it was meant to be a joke, an unkind one, Desiree being a plain Jane perhaps, then the phrasing he used here is way over the top. if Desiree is indeed a beautiful girl, I'd keep a close eye on him and Desiree, he obviously thinks a lot of her.
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted February 22, 2015 Posted February 22, 2015 Maybe it's because I'm a guy but I don't think he did anything wrong.
soph-walker Posted February 22, 2015 Posted February 22, 2015 I think that's wildly inappropriate! I would not be okay with my bf saying that to someone else. I agree with this- it's not at all appropriate. If it was a throw away comment is be willing to over look it but if it was repeated comments I would have to nip it in the bud. Try asking him how he'd feel if it was the other way round ?
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