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Why is female affection so hard to win?


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Posted

I mean let's face it, the woman needs to be swept off her feet. The male is always in the position of having to prove he is worthy of her affection.

 

Why is it never the other way around?

 

Why are men so expendable while all women are princesses?

  • Like 1
Posted

I don't think it's as cut & dried as it seems from your perspective. Women will tell you they are constantly having to prove themselves to me & all they ever encounter are jerks who only want one thing.

 

The attraction & desire have to be mutual, which isn't always easy to find.

  • Like 2
Posted
I mean let's face it, the woman needs to be swept off her feet. The male is always in the position of having to prove he is worthy of her affection.

 

Why is it never the other way around?

 

Why are men so expendable while all women are princesses?

 

That's not the case at all. Flip your mindset and you'll do much better. If you go in with the mindset that she has to win you over you'll be surprised at your results.

  • Like 1
Posted
That's not the case at all. Flip your mindset and you'll do much better. If you go in with the mindset that she has to win you over you'll be surprised at your results.

 

It depends who is settling. If the guy is above the girl's league, she has to work for him.

 

 

If the girl is above the guy's league he has to work for her.

  • Like 2
Posted
It depends who is settling. If the guy is above the girl's league, she has to work for him.

 

 

If the girl is above the guy's league he has to work for her.

 

The trick is to always believe you are above her "league". You are the prize. Now, don't be a dick, but go in thinking she needs to win you over no matter how hot she is.

  • Like 3
Posted
I mean let's face it, the woman needs to be swept off her feet. The male is always in the position of having to prove he is worthy of her affection.

 

Why is it never the other way around?

 

Why are men so expendable while all women are princesses?

 

This hasn't been true in my experience. I don't think I've ever felt the need to try and "sweep her off her feet" or to "prove my worthiness". Any guy who has that mindset is probably trying too hard and is being his own worst enemy. In my case, either the attraction from her was pretty evident in the first place, or we just chatted/joked/flirted with each other like normal human beings with low/zero expectations and went from there...even if it didn't go anywhere, it was still a nice little conversation to pass the time.

  • Like 7
Posted

Depends on which party is attracted and who's taking the initiative and is comfortable doing so.

 

When I stopped trying to "win" female affection, I began to receive more of it - emotionally and sexually. That may get better too, the more I give love to give it rather than to win somebody's affection.

  • Like 3
Posted

Thats not really how it is.

 

The pressure on women to be 'perfect' for men is incredible.

 

The whole business of advertising is based on that.

  • Like 5
Posted
I mean let's face it, the woman needs to be swept off her feet. The male is always in the position of having to prove he is worthy of her affection.

 

Why is it never the other way around?

 

Why are men so expendable while all women are princesses?

 

Huh since when? Also it is very often the other way around. You should try reading one of those 'Doc Love' books or PUA articles, they will give you a better explanation of what the posters above are saying.

  • Like 1
Posted
I mean let's face it, the woman needs to be swept off her feet. The male is always in the position of having to prove he is worthy of her affection.

 

Why is it never the other way around?

 

Why are men so expendable while all women are princesses?

 

That's how it is for the vast majority mammals on this planet.

 

The male has to prove himself worthy of the female. The female basically gets to choose what male she wants to be with.

 

Just be thankful that humans don't have harems, at least not in the present day.

  • Like 2
Posted

It is the other way round, quite a few girls have swept me off my feet.

 

Why do some of you blokes think girls are an `alien` species?

  • Like 2
Posted
The trick is to always believe you are above her "league". You are the prize. Now, don't be a dick, but go in thinking she needs to win you over no matter how hot she is.

 

Thats exactly the attitude- tough to make it work though, women expect to be won over by the man. Look at all the girls on here who talk of never initiating by text or whatever.

 

I always draw a firm line and try to get the woman to put as much effort if not more in. I think I have lost out as most tend to walk away when they realise that I wont put them on a pedestal. I guess for other guys it will work- to the women Im just a loser or whatever but the hot guy over there who is doing the same thing is a 'bad boy' or a challenge.

 

It sucks, but as much as being single bites at times I wont go back to being the person that fawns over women because that sucked worse.

Posted
Thats not really how it is.

 

The pressure on women to be 'perfect' for men is incredible.

 

The whole business of advertising is based on that.

 

The beauty industry makes millions convincing women men are more shallow than we actually are.

As for the thread subject I think it is based more on the person than the gender.

  • Like 1
Posted
I mean let's face it, the woman needs to be swept off her feet. The male is always in the position of having to prove he is worthy of her affection.

 

Why is it never the other way around?

 

Why are men so expendable while all women are princesses?

 

 

It is the other way around.

 

However, I am worthy of her affection as well as all the women around her. Which not only means she is completely replaceable, but that I might not even notice her at all. And I won't even try to sweep her off her feet and instead will be going after her better looking friend.

Posted
I mean let's face it, the woman needs to be swept off her feet. The male is always in the position of having to prove he is worthy of her affection.

 

Why is it never the other way around?

 

Why are men so expendable while all women are princesses?

because women have more to lose; that is why women start and end most relationships

  • Like 2
Posted
I mean let's face it, the woman needs to be swept off her feet. The male is always in the position of having to prove he is worthy of her affection.

 

Why is it never the other way around?

 

Why are men so expendable while all women are princesses?

 

Who says we don't have to prove ourselves worthy. So many threads on here telling guys to 'dump the bitch'. I'd say the proving part goes both ways. It's not that we're hard to win over, it's that guys typically want a never ending bachelorhood with a female, while she wants some kind of commitment. Once we get the idea that he doesn't want us that way, we're out of there. Can't blame a woman for going after what she wants if you don't want to give it to her.

  • Like 3
Posted
I mean let's face it, the woman needs to be swept off her feet. The male is always in the position of having to prove he is worthy of her affection.

 

Why is it never the other way around?

 

Why are men so expendable while all women are princesses?

 

 

NGC, I don't think men are expendable but I do love being swept off my feet and I adore being treated like a princess (even a naughty one sometimes :o ). And I do love when a man proves he is worthy of me in the same way I like to prove how he will need no other to satisfy himself with.

 

If you are with someone who is making you feel like you are doing all the work, maybe talk to them about it or choose to hang out with someone different.

 

But please, don't lump 'all us women' in the same box just because we all have breasts. ;) We still are not all the same.

CiH*

  • Like 1
Posted

It has to do with the way nature balances it self.

 

In youth, women have all the power. They can date guys their own age or guys 20 years older than them. They are free and without obligation. They make the rules with regards to sex and romance until about the mid 30's.

 

A man comes to power at around 35-40ish. The female starts to loose her power now as she looses her youthful attractiveness. She can make demands and ultimatums, but she finds that this strategy does not work anymore. There is a much larger pool of women to compete with now.

  • Like 5
Posted

Because women are emotional creatures, it's ridiculously easy to get their affection as long as you're not trying to date out of your overall attractiveness level, including, physical, personality, and success components. If you'd try dating the woman who pays any attention to you instead of the ones who don't, you wouldn't have any trouble. If you simply can't attract any women or any friends, then it's up to you to become a friendly, more outgoing, and more pleasant entertaining person. Because personality can make up for a lot of other deficits.

  • Like 1
Posted

You can thank Instagram-worshippers and white knights for that.

  • Like 2
Posted
It has to do with the way nature balances it self.

 

In youth, women have all the power. They can date guys their own age or guys 20 years older than them. They are free and without obligation. They make the rules with regards to sex and romance until about the mid 30's.

 

A man comes to power at around 35-40ish. The female starts to loose her power now as she looses her youthful attractiveness. She can make demands and ultimatums, but she finds that this strategy does not work anymore. There is a much larger pool of women to compete with now.

 

Hilarious! Yeah okay, you keep telling yourself that if it helps you sleep at night. :laugh:

  • Like 2
Posted
Who says we don't have to prove ourselves worthy. So many threads on here telling guys to 'dump the bitch'. I'd say the proving part goes both ways. It's not that we're hard to win over, it's that guys typically want a never ending bachelorhood with a female, while she wants some kind of commitment. Once we get the idea that he doesn't want us that way, we're out of there. Can't blame a woman for going after what she wants if you don't want to give it to her.

 

There are plenty of men out there who are looking for a serious relationship. But guess what, most women don't actually want that, or if they actually do want a real relationship, it's most likely not with the kinds of guys that actually want to be tied down.

 

Most young women seem to want to be the one who can claim the playboy and get him to commit to her. They don't realize they'd be better off going for the less exciting guy who actually wants a relationship.

  • Like 3
Posted
There are plenty of men out there who are looking for a serious relationship. But guess what, most women don't actually want that, or if they actually do want a real relationship, it's most likely not with the kinds of guys that actually want to be tied down.

 

Most young women seem to want to be the one who can claim the playboy and get him to commit to her. They don't realize they'd be better off going for the less exciting guy who actually wants a relationship.

 

And most guys want the hottie everyone else wants without realising they'd be better off going for the less exciting girl who actually wants a relationship. That sword cuts both ways somedude.

 

Human Relations 101

 

If a person gets a lot of attention (by virtue of being good looking/whatever) then they are more motivated to explore as much of it as they can, especially in their younger years. The younger a person is....generally the more egoistic they will be. Women start to change their priorities after 27 or so. Guys only slightly later around 29 or so.

 

If you are looking for relationship material then you're more likely to find it amoung people who get less attention or who have moved into relationship mindset. You've got to work with what's out there.

 

Am I bummed I wasn't born extremely good looking? Yeah pretty much..but what can I do about it? Nothing so I just get on and live the much less glamourous life I was given. I didn't waste years and years pitying myself because I missed the genetic lottery win. Once you get out of that mindset you also find that yes, you do find a lot of other people attractive too. But if you focus on it, it will just make you miserable.

  • Like 5
Posted
And most guys want the hottie everyone else wants without realising they'd be better off going for the less exciting girl who actually wants a relationship. That sword cuts both ways somedude.

 

Guys aren't nearly as motivated by looks as women like to believe. A hot girl that is a pain to talk to is worthless. Guys want women who are easy to talk to and fun to play around with. Of course they have to be at least somewhat cute, which most young women are.

 

I've never had a requirement for a woman to be exciting. All I want is a girl who enjoys doing what I like to do. It's the men who have to be exciting.

 

The real trouble is finding the girl who wants a relationship. In the vast majority of cases if a girl wants a to be in a relationship, she's already in one. It's extremely difficult to find a single woman that wants to be in a relationship.

 

Human Relations 101

 

If a person gets a lot of attention (by virtue of being good looking/whatever) then they are more motivated to explore as much of it as they can, especially in their younger years.

 

I agree with you.

 

And most young women get a ton of male attention regardless how they look. Then they think that they deserve only the most attractive of men. And if they can't date those men they would gladly be FWB with them or just simply be single, while they reject all the "lesser" men who want to date them.

 

 

The younger a person is....generally the more egoistic they will be. Women start to change their priorities after 27 or so. Guys only slightly later around 29 or so.

 

I'm not so sure about the ages. I was looking for a serious girlfriend around 25. I think most guys want to settle down and get married after college.

 

I was thinking that women would want to settle down around the same age, but maybe you are correct that they want to keep partying until their late 20's.

 

If you are looking for relationship material then you're more likely to find it amoung people who get less attention or who have moved into relationship mindset. You've got to work with what's out there.

 

So basically ugly women, or women that are 30+?

 

Am I bummed I wasn't born extremely good looking? Yeah pretty much..but what can I do about it? Nothing so I just get on and live the much less glamourous life I was given. I didn't waste years and years pitying myself because I missed the genetic lottery win. Once you get out of that mindset you also find that yes, you do find a lot of other people attractive too. But if you focus on it, it will just make you miserable.

 

How has your dating life been?

 

Me, I got my first girlfriend at 31 and she suddenly dumped me after 6 months, a little over a year ago. I've been single since then. I also didn't sleep around at all. I was just constantly getting rejected by women.

 

That's why I'm bitter.

  • Like 1
Posted
Hilarious! Yeah okay, you keep telling yourself that if it helps you sleep at night. :laugh:

 

Its a crude way of putting it, yes.

But if you look around, it does happen.

 

This does not apply to me though. I will date a woman up to 3 years older than me and 20 years younger. See, I like older women!:rolleyes:

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