katiegrl Posted February 22, 2015 Posted February 22, 2015 (edited) Why not try to save this relationship? Don't throw it all away. Cut off sex. When he asks, "What's wrong?", then you can confront him, then he will be ready to really listen and change. Then you can have makeup sex and everything will be right in the world again. No guts, no glory. Talk is cheap, actions scream. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. For best results, it has to be the person's own idea to change (or at least they have to think it's their own idea). What I am wondering is why on earth she would even "want" to have sex with him in the first place!! Ugh...being treated that way...I sure wouldn't...I wouldn't want him touching me. In fact I'd be inclined to just pack up my things and leave...let him find someone else to pick him up from his nights out with his "work" buddies!!! But that's just me....I don't tolerate that type of bull shyt being fed scraps from a guy.... I think she should just end it find a guy who is actually into her....and not as just a roommate and chauffeur. Edited February 22, 2015 by katiegrl
preraph Posted February 22, 2015 Posted February 22, 2015 Not sure what he's up to, but I know what I'd do about it, and that is start using that time to go out or visit with your friends. A lot of men will get their woman sitting safely at home by themselves and then go do as much as they can get away with before she busts him. But very few can handle it when the woman starts doing what they're doing and expects the same trust. 1
Gary S Posted February 22, 2015 Posted February 22, 2015 Not sure what he's up to, but I know what I'd do about it, and that is start using that time to go out or visit with your friends. A lot of men will get their woman sitting safely at home by themselves and then go do as much as they can get away with before she busts him. But very few can handle it when the woman starts doing what they're doing and expects the same trust. - what preraph said, mirroring him, can work also. Additionally, I would not stand for yelling.... if he does that, you should leave and go to a friends house or out for the evening. I hope this one can be saved, but this guy sounds like a control freak.
smackie9 Posted February 22, 2015 Posted February 22, 2015 Here's my take on it..... His behavior is not appropriate for someone who is in a committed relationship. You approached him on it, he defends his behavior and pretty much tries to make you look like the bad one in the relationship...that's manipulation, which is abuse. Clearly he doesn't accept the boundaries you have set in your relationship. You already approached him, he refuses to comply or treat you with any respect.....your relationship should be terminated.
smackie9 Posted February 22, 2015 Posted February 22, 2015 IMO this isn't about the OP not being able to make friends and that her finding a social life of her own is the answer or him being a control freak or her having trust issues.....it's because of the way she and this relationship is being disrespected by him. He is over stepping his boundaries.
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted February 22, 2015 Posted February 22, 2015 The OP hasn't even replied, I think we're grasping at straws here and need to let it go until we get more info. I have a feeling (Confirm/deny please OP?) that the OP is smothering her BF and not spending enough time happily by herself, or making friends of her own. Guys want their girlfriend to have a life of their own as well - and friends of their own for that matter. I think his behavior is inappropriate - yes. However I think they have bigger issues in their relationship and it's not all the guys fault. OP how do you feel about this assessment - am I way off here?
smackie9 Posted February 22, 2015 Posted February 22, 2015 Hey I totally agree having a social life outside the relationship is key BUT it's obvious he's the type that is a male attention whore that acts single to get THAT kind of attention. He is escaping from a relationship he no longer wants to be in simple as that. I know someone who is doing the same thing. My friend is too spineless to dump his GF, now he is locked in a mortgage and raising a kid. He spends his time chatting and flirting with a co-worker.....everyone is talking, and it doesn't look good.
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted February 22, 2015 Posted February 22, 2015 Hey I totally agree having a social life outside the relationship is key BUT it's obvious he's the type that is a male attention whore that acts single to get THAT kind of attention. He is escaping from a relationship he no longer wants to be in simple as that. I know someone who is doing the same thing. My friend is too spineless to dump his GF, now he is locked in a mortgage and raising a kid. He spends his time chatting and flirting with a co-worker.....everyone is talking, and it doesn't look good. Yes I agree - But the OP (the GF) needs to realize she is probably part of the problem too. Having this kind of realization will help future relationships succeed. No one wants an overly needy girlfriend who has no life/friends.
CrystalShine2011 Posted February 22, 2015 Posted February 22, 2015 That's pretty rude of him...I would tell him how it makes you feel and if nothing changes, you know what to do!
smackie9 Posted February 22, 2015 Posted February 22, 2015 Yes I agree - But the OP (the GF) needs to realize she is probably part of the problem too. Having this kind of realization will help future relationships succeed. No one wants an overly needy girlfriend who has no life/friends. The part of the problem is they are not compatible. It's obvious she is an introvert, and he is not. This will dampen any relationship after the honeymoon period is over....and that time has arrived. 1
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