Jerseyguyy Posted February 21, 2015 Posted February 21, 2015 Hello good folks of LS.. Without this site id be a lost person. Just had to give an update on my situation. For the past three months ive been In a slump curious to know if my EX left me for someone else. I had no real proof just a terrible ongoing gut feelings for the last months which has been hindering me moving on... Especially because she was stringin me along for a plan b ( just recently finidng this out) Scrolling thro fb i see a picture of some guy who has recently died. His name sounded to familiar.. With a little morw scrolling i found that he was indeed the guy my ex left me for. Smh. I asked her countless times to be honest ao i can move forward an leave her alone and she never did. Unfortunately for her i found out, confronted her ( which i shouldnt have but hey you live an you learn) she assured me it was afterwards. Which was lies. Bottomline never go agaisnt your gut.. Alotta people on LS informed they agreed she cheated an so As my guy. Although it still hurts i feel alotta relief in finding out the truth. 9 out of 10 times if a woman leaves unexpectedly with no explanation go with your gut.. Its someone else.. 6
mightycpa Posted February 21, 2015 Posted February 21, 2015 Of course it is. Everybody knows that. They just think it can't happen to them, that's all. 4
Light Breeze Posted February 21, 2015 Posted February 21, 2015 Don't know about the others but when mine left unexpectedly it was for another, so.... For me, when I found out she left for another guy, it killed all hope and kept that door shut tight and locked. Quite helpful for my healing actually. So, I think it was for the best that you found out. Anyway, she may want to try again with you since this guy is dead (r.i.p). I think though, you shouldn't look back and just move forward. Then go NC, NC, NC. 3
TashaTudor Posted February 21, 2015 Posted February 21, 2015 Your instincts are usually right. Go no contact! Find someone who can be honest with you and not mislead and string you along. Don't show her anymore courtesy. Double bolt the door.
Author Jerseyguyy Posted February 21, 2015 Author Posted February 21, 2015 Oh absolutely so correct. I could never in my life even process thinking of going back to that.. Let alone talk to her. She'll never hear from me again. Honestly it was 100% what i needed to complete heal and shut off all hope i stupidly had.. Whats almost as bad as leaving me for another is all the lies poppin in my head that she fed me an i believed. Smh My advice to all is as soon aa she leaves take her off that PEDESTAL Asap.. Thats what killed me. The infamous pedestal. Smh Never again. 2
TashaTudor Posted February 21, 2015 Posted February 21, 2015 The arrogance of people is really whats shocking. They take you for a dumbass and think you'll never put it together. Wow. The no contact will be a bucket of ice cold water in her face. 7
Author Jerseyguyy Posted February 21, 2015 Author Posted February 21, 2015 You absolutely right Tash.. Its one thing to leave and do ya thing and i found out later, cool.. But tryna hide it WHILE keeping me on a string for two solid months is ridiculous.. Lol I wish this on no one an i hope NO ONE sticks around when they eventually find out..
Author Jerseyguyy Posted February 21, 2015 Author Posted February 21, 2015 Last we spoke three weeks before i went NC was " i now know im still in love with you and i KNOW you are the one im meant to be with.. I just need a little time " Lmao smh silly me 1
TashaTudor Posted February 21, 2015 Posted February 21, 2015 No contact is the "punch in the nose" passive move that seems to work for alot of us on here. Don't let any "sweet talk" persuade you. She showed you her colors and showed no respect for your time. 1
The Poster Posted February 21, 2015 Posted February 21, 2015 So wait, the guy your ex left you for just died? That is eerie and sad. What happened? And yeah, I've found that your gut is usually spot on. Funny thing is my gut tells me that my ex will regret giving up on us at some point, if she hasn't already. That doesn't mean I'll ever know or hear from her again though. She is way too stubborn and prideful to admit it, but I do feel that there is a time where she will wonder if she made a mistake.
ally2015 Posted February 21, 2015 Posted February 21, 2015 I am currently dealing with something similar.. A lot more complicated though AND we have a child so NC will only be able to last so long. He has also gone NC with me even though HE is in the wrong in all counts... Idiot. Anyway I'm sticking to NC until he breaks it. Similar to what The Poser said regarding gut feelings I feel that my ex will be back in a whole world of hurt, regretting absolutely everything... Because he has lost his family and for what? Regarding gut feelings I don't feel like my relationship with him is over, no matter how much I try! You know when a relationship ends and you have that gut wrenching feelings where you KNOW it's over with for good. Even my mum she doesn't have the feeling either and it frustrates her she is like "I don't have the feeling it's over, not at all, I can see him coming back into your life and it may work out BUT if it doesn't I see it being you that ends it for good and not him. And he will try to be with you for the rest of your life despite your rejections" I kinda have the exact same feeling and that if I don't be with him he will ultimately make my life hell.. Ruining any future relationships etc... He has f***ed up majorly and I should hate his guts, I try to force myself to change my gut feeling but it won't change! What do you think this means?? Any thoughts of when your gut is telling you one thing yet your mind wants the complete opposite?
Author Jerseyguyy Posted February 21, 2015 Author Posted February 21, 2015 @ the poster.. Im honestly not sure what happened. I didnt really research what happen but it looks like some type of killing. @ally an as far as your gut feeling. Its best to go with it whether good or bad. It all depends on you as a person. Since i was a child to now.. Especially with relations my gut was always right an got me to find out the truth.. However we all are different.. An i did have a small gut feeling we would end up back together but the negative gut feeling almost always knocked out the good within minutes as im sure now it was just false hope wishin it was positive knowin i trust my gut..if u catch my drift. As far as your mothers gut i wouldnt bank on that. As my exs mom did think we were gonna get back together due to her gut and my mom had a gut feeling she was the one for me.. Both wrong So bottomline trust your own gut!
sabd Posted February 21, 2015 Posted February 21, 2015 Yip. I DIDN'T trust my gut! Big mistake. I went to visit him last month after giving him some space and him asking me "where to from here?". Got there and saw him with another woman and was treated to quite the show - 3 hours of them being extremely cozy together. I knew something was off before I went and I didn't listen to my instincts, silly me. At least I got to see EXACTLY who he was though - a lying *******.
ally2015 Posted February 21, 2015 Posted February 21, 2015 @ally an as far as your gut feeling. Its best to go with it whether good or bad. It all depends on you as a person. Since i was a child to now.. Especially with relations my gut was always right an got me to find out the truth.. However we all are different.. An i did have a small gut feeling we would end up back together but the negative gut feeling almost always knocked out the good within minutes as im sure now it was just false hope wishin it was positive knowin i trust my gut..if u catch my drift. Like i want my gut feeling to be wrong... because im at the stage where i do not want him in our lives at all with how he is acting and has treated us BUT i do not have the gut feeling at all that it is over for us as a couple... so i guess i just have to go with the flow and hopefully my gut feeling changes... but you would think that if i was going to have a feeling it is over it would be now when there is NC both sides and everything is so full on and messy! As far as your mothers gut i wouldnt bank on that. As my exs mom did think we were gonna get back together due to her gut and my mom had a gut feeling she was the one for me.. Both wrong My mum has been right about all of my past relationships so i just thought if she also doesnt feel its over then maybe its really not... she wants it to be over yet keeps saying i can see him getting a 2nd chance. etc... ill definetly just listen to my instincts about it... even though what my gut is telling me i dont want to hear
Author Jerseyguyy Posted February 21, 2015 Author Posted February 21, 2015 @sabd. Smh thats fu*k** terrible. Hes a top notch scumbag.. Its good u seen that. Take it as a blessing. You def see the clown he really as. All i wanted for the past few months was to know the truth.. As terrible as it was its an extreme load off my chest. Leave him alone hun. He dont deserve you. Idk why you stood for 3 hours smh @ally. I understand. If you trust your mothers gut then go for it. But in youre particular situation u can change that gut feeling by not giving him a second chance if you REALLY dont want it to happen. You control the situation not your gut 1
na49 Posted February 21, 2015 Posted February 21, 2015 I'm happy that you got the answers. It's unfortunate that this guy passed away, but what your ex did was still wrong. I got similar answers after my breakup. She told me that a guy told her he had a crush on her. She seemed pretty okay with it which I didn't like. She knew it made me uncomfortable, and admitted she'd be uncomfortable too. She didn't care though. All of a sudden she started fights over everything, all of a sudden I was this horrible boyfriend. After a week of sadness, I check her Facebook. Only to find that all of our pictures are gone, and there she is with a big smile on her face with this new guy. I should have never trusted her in the first place... I'm still having some trouble accepting it, but reading your story reminded me that I shouldn't ever want to go back to a liar.
Author Jerseyguyy Posted February 21, 2015 Author Posted February 21, 2015 Its unfortunate hes passed. I wouldnt wish that on any one. Regardless it wasnt his fault.. Shes the only one to blame. And dont beat yourself up. Any person that can leave someone they love for someone they like or a crush just shows their true colors. And it also shows it wouldve happen sooner or later but it GUARANTEED would have eventually happen. Ive only known 24 hrs but i have to say i feel much better than i have the past three months.. Im sure ill have my ups and downs but nothing i wont handle.
mightycpa Posted February 21, 2015 Posted February 21, 2015 Its unfortunate hes passed.You know, this is going to sound horrible, but maybe that's why she said she just needs a little time.
na49 Posted February 21, 2015 Posted February 21, 2015 And dont beat yourself up. Any person that can leave someone they love for someone they like or a crush just shows their true colors. And it also shows it wouldve happen sooner or later but it GUARANTEED would have eventually happen. I've been having a rough couple of days, but that's a good point. I should be glad that she showed her true colors before I got married, or had a kid with her. I got off easy in that regard. She's done this twice. She starts to doubt the relationship as soon as she knows that another guy has any interest. It's screwed up.
Kinetica84 Posted February 22, 2015 Posted February 22, 2015 Hello good folks of LS.. Without this site id be a lost person. Just had to give an update on my situation. For the past three months ive been In a slump curious to know if my EX left me for someone else. I had no real proof just a terrible ongoing gut feelings for the last months which has been hindering me moving on... Especially because she was stringin me along for a plan b ( just recently finidng this out) Scrolling thro fb i see a picture of some guy who has recently died. His name sounded to familiar.. With a little morw scrolling i found that he was indeed the guy my ex left me for. Smh. I asked her countless times to be honest ao i can move forward an leave her alone and she never did. Unfortunately for her i found out, confronted her ( which i shouldnt have but hey you live an you learn) she assured me it was afterwards. Which was lies. Bottomline never go agaisnt your gut.. Alotta people on LS informed they agreed she cheated an so As my guy. Although it still hurts i feel alotta relief in finding out the truth. 9 out of 10 times if a woman leaves unexpectedly with no explanation go with your gut.. Its someone else.. Same happened to me buddy and I ignored my gut. Always listen to it.
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