SearchingForMyself Posted February 21, 2015 Posted February 21, 2015 Hi, I'm searching for myself. Nice to meet you. Here's my story. Been seeing this older woman that I met online. We hit it off pretty damn well. At the time she was seeing another guy who ironically, wasn't committing to her. During that time, she was having sex with 4 or 5 other guys in rotation repeatedly. One of them is currently living with her(im not.) who has a woman with a kid with already. He's also her co-worker. Two weeks ago he dumps her, found out he was seeing someone else. She's upset. All of a sudden we hook up, and she says that she REALLY likes me. She's a bit of a sex addict. At least that's what I can tell. We're supposed to meet up tomorrow for a weekend getaway. She's been begging for a threesome with me in it. During said time, we talked about being in a relationship. She said she was afraid of falling in love with me. I asked her about the guy she was living with. Naturally, she said he was just a good ****, but then complained about him being a loser, dealing with his baby momma drama, mooching off of her...etc. she had said that week that she hadn't had sex and wanted to wait for me. Then today she said that she may have screwed her roommate a few times. But according to her, it's just sex and that she likes me the best. Older woman, she's in her late 30s and me mid 20s. 4 months of getting to know each other. Met online. She said she wouldn't mind an open relationship at the moment. So question? Should I just agree and see other people?(although she asked for a 3some, she wants another guy but I can't have another girl. Actual conversation.) Or should I head for the hills and never look back?
Gloria25 Posted February 21, 2015 Posted February 21, 2015 Gross... Chick has more than one penis in and out of her that she "rotates"? Sorry, I just don't see what's appealing here. My fav podcaster doesn't believe in "sex addiction"...she considers is a lack of character issue. I mean, think about it, if all the chick wanted was sex, then she could boink one guy all the time, right? 1
Author SearchingForMyself Posted February 21, 2015 Author Posted February 21, 2015 Gross... Chick has more than one penis in and out of her that she "rotates"? Sorry, I just don't see what's appealing here. My fav podcaster doesn't believe in "sex addiction"...she considers is a lack of character issue. I mean, think about it, if all the chick wanted was sex, then she could boink one guy all the time, right? There's a guy living with her, that's her co-worker that she's regularly having sex with. She fell for a guy that already had a woman. HE used her for sex. She goes around saying IM HER FAVORITE. In all honesty, I'm all for FWBs but this mostly feels like I'm just some kind of trophy. Problem is we have some chemistry. In every other way she's pretty awesome...except she just got out of a 20 year marriage two years ago and is going straight BUCKWILD.
preraph Posted February 21, 2015 Posted February 21, 2015 She is really being reckless with the sex. It's very unusual for a woman to be this craven, I have to say, and I know from craven. She very well may be a sex addict or a drug addict. Or she could be bipolar and be manic or some other disorder. I would think she'd be high risk for disease. And God forbid she get pregnant and you get tied to her for life. A lot of guys who are this way are ego-starved and need the constant validation, so it's possible she does as well. The difference seems to be that she's not even trying to hide one lover from the other as most people would do. Do not live with her. Do not mix money with her. I'm tempted to tell you not to even let her know where you live. Do not EVER fail to condom up, and you'd be wise to look in her mouth with a flashlight the way rockstars do to strippers before -- you know. She sounds so kind of manic that I can't help but think she's either mental or on dope and will crash and burn. You could get in the middle of some big dude who decides to crush all competitors. This situation is fraught with danger, that's all I'm saying. Plus she wants you to do a threesome with a dude. Not saying that's particularly unusual, but not many guys go for it. And again, could get dicey and dangerous. I'm just thinking you can find someone less questionable to have sex with. 5
Gloria25 Posted February 21, 2015 Posted February 21, 2015 There's a guy living with her, that's her co-worker that she's regularly having sex with. She fell for a guy that already had a woman. HE used her for sex. She goes around saying IM HER FAVORITE. In all honesty, I'm all for FWBs but this mostly feels like I'm just some kind of trophy. Problem is we have some chemistry. In every other way she's pretty awesome...except she just got out of a 20 year marriage two years ago and is going straight BUCKWILD. Oh wow... And I'm going over two years w/o any penis in my life....And, I'm a very horny woman. Actually, I was thinking about that this week. I'm horny, but I'm just not opening up my legs for Tom, Dick, and/or Harry. Again, I share the same opinion with my fav podcaster...this is a "character" issue. Guy she "lives with"? Ok, sounds like she's also a golddigger....wonderful. Make sure you have all your shots up to date (including ebola) and wear a full body condom and dental dam. 3
No Limit Posted February 21, 2015 Posted February 21, 2015 F-buddy. No more than that. And always use a condom.
Author SearchingForMyself Posted February 21, 2015 Author Posted February 21, 2015 Yeah, she's definitely not relationship material in the SLIGHTEST
Author SearchingForMyself Posted February 21, 2015 Author Posted February 21, 2015 Oh wow... And I'm going over two years w/o any penis in my life....And, I'm a very horny woman. Actually, I was thinking about that this week. I'm horny, but I'm just not opening up my legs for Tom, Dick, and/or Harry. Again, I share the same opinion with my fav podcaster...this is a "character" issue. Guy she "lives with"? Ok, sounds like she's also a golddigger....wonderful. Make sure you have all your shots up to date (including ebola) and wear a full body condom and dental dam. I can't even count how many guys she's been with in 2 months 20 is how much I can count as a near guess.
Gloria25 Posted February 21, 2015 Posted February 21, 2015 F-buddy. No more than that. And always use a condom. Yeah, she's definitely not relationship material in the SLIGHTEST I can't even count how many guys she's been with in 2 months 20 is how much I can count as a near guess. Look, I know men are better than women with being able to separate "sex" from needing an emotional attachment before doing the nasty - but really? What's appealing about some chick who has X amount of guys going in/out her on the regular? I just don't even find that sexy....
Author SearchingForMyself Posted February 21, 2015 Author Posted February 21, 2015 Look, I know men are better than women with being able to separate "sex" from needing an emotional attachment before doing the nasty - but really? What's appealing about some chick who has X amount of guys going in/out her on the regular? I just don't even find that sexy.... Sexual liberal women would say otherwise. Which, she is one.
Gloria25 Posted February 21, 2015 Posted February 21, 2015 Sexual liberal women would say otherwise. Which, she is one. Oh sorry, I'm a boring, sexually repressed, religious prude here...What would I know? Maybe if I was more liberal, progressive, modern then I'd understand how much value this chick has... But, good luck in your decision to continue with her...I mean, now that you put it that way, I say she's a keeper. 1
Author SearchingForMyself Posted February 21, 2015 Author Posted February 21, 2015 Oh sorry, I'm a boring, sexually repressed, religious prude here...What would I know? Maybe if I was more liberal, progressive, modern then I'd understand how much value this chick has... But, good luck in your decision to continue with her...I mean, now that you put it that way, I say she's a keeper. Ouch. Keeper isn't the word. But when you've been without...well...someone into you...you kinda start turning into this. Why do you think I asked if I should run or stick with it? If I had other options this chick would be HISTORY
LifesontheUp Posted February 21, 2015 Posted February 21, 2015 If I had other options this chick would be HISTORY So look for other options?
No Limit Posted February 21, 2015 Posted February 21, 2015 I just don't even find that sexy.... I don't find it sexy on guys either. It's the exclusivity that catches my eye. On the other hand, since so many women seem to find men repulsive lately, I guess these types are filling an empty space perfectly.
elaine567 Posted February 21, 2015 Posted February 21, 2015 If I had other options this chick would be HISTORY I guess she is all mixed up, I doubt she is indeed a "sexually liberated" woman deep down. She came out of a 20 year marriage and I guess was pretty hurt by it and is having casual sex and wild times to dull the pain. Trouble is you are in a place where there is dearth of sex and along she comes and she will fill your needs. But I also detect that you are more invested in her than you are admitting to and you WANT to desperately be her" favourite". You WANT to be the one she chooses. You WANT a relationship That is why you need to be careful here, as she is unstable at the moment and is capable of anything. I can see you getting very involved here and hurt too, as her whirlwind sex tour takes her off to another "favourite" and she dumps you like a hot potato, or she implodes and you are left to deal with some sobbing, shrunken mess, when it all catches up with her. 2
Otter2569 Posted February 21, 2015 Posted February 21, 2015 If this chic had as many dicks sticking out of her as she does going into her, she'd be a freakin porcupine! LOL Recognize it for what it is - a fun time and some wild stories to share with your buddies. If you want a relationship or a commitment this is not the right woman. If you are looking for some crazy sex then go for it. Personally if I agreed to do the MMF thing for her I'd want the FFM in return. Whats fair is fair.
Maleficent Posted February 21, 2015 Posted February 21, 2015 I'm all for sexual liberation and stuff but I feel like she is trying to manipulate you into sleeping with her. I also feel like she has no idea how to open relationship. This bothers me more than the multiple partners. If you can get into a feb thing with her, go for it but if you feel you might fall for her, run for the hills. 1
Author SearchingForMyself Posted February 21, 2015 Author Posted February 21, 2015 Me, invested in her? Maybe a little. Either way...it feels like lately a lot of women seem to hate men.
Gloria25 Posted February 21, 2015 Posted February 21, 2015 Ouch. Keeper isn't the word. But when you've been without...well...someone into you...you kinda start turning into this. Why do you think I asked if I should run or stick with it? If I had other options this chick would be HISTORY "Mejor sola que mal acompanada"....which means, "I rather be alone than be in bad company" Dude, I haven't gotten laid in over two years...Recently went on OLD and met a guy who pretty much wanted that. Last year, I almost hooked up with a dude. In both cases, as much as I wanted sex - not like that. So, do I have any options right now? Eh, sorta - but again, I rather be alone rather than in a bad situation and/or not getting what I want. I have someone I know who was sad on V-day. But, she's been with this loser for more than a year now - we all know he disappoints so when I heard she was crying, I felt bad for her, but at the same time "what's new here"? In other words, you set yourself up in a bad situation out of desperation and all you get is headache/heartache. So, if you are that lonely that some manipulative, unstable, "hole" (cuz seems like she's just a receptacle for semen) is the best you think it's gonna get for you, maybe you can look into enriching your life with other things (i.e. church, family, friends, hobbies, counseling). I mean, some men "pay" for company (i.e. sugar daddies, hookers, etc.), but to me that's also being in bad company and I'd rather be alone than do that. BTW, I also know of women who have like gigolo situations and those go bad too.
central Posted February 21, 2015 Posted February 21, 2015 Most swingers don't get anywhere near that much action, just for perspective. She sounds more like a sex addict, and as such she is probably not being safe in her sexual activities. I think she would only be using you, and is saying the things to get you to let her. Good luck.
Author SearchingForMyself Posted February 21, 2015 Author Posted February 21, 2015 (edited) "Mejor sola que mal acompanada"....which means, "I rather be alone than be in bad company" Dude, I haven't gotten laid in over two years...Recently went on OLD and met a guy who pretty much wanted that. Last year, I almost hooked up with a dude. In both cases, as much as I wanted sex - not like that. So, do I have any options right now? Eh, sorta - but again, I rather be alone rather than in a bad situation and/or not getting what I want. I have someone I know who was sad on V-day. But, she's been with this loser for more than a year now - we all know he disappoints so when I heard she was crying, I felt bad for her, but at the same time "what's new here"? In other words, you set yourself up in a bad situation out of desperation and all you get is headache/heartache. So, if you are that lonely that some manipulative, unstable, "hole" (cuz seems like she's just a receptacle for semen) is the best you think it's gonna get for you, maybe you can look into enriching your life with other things (i.e. church, family, friends, hobbies, counseling). I mean, some men "pay" for company (i.e. sugar daddies, hookers, etc.), but to me that's also being in bad company and I'd rather be alone than do that. BTW, I also know of women who have like gigolo situations and those go bad too. Most men who aren't rock stars don't have a lot of options. Trust me. For women who have options and can freely choose...it's different The idea of being lonely is a very real fear for a lot of men in a world full of women who chase after the same kinds of guys. I know these are generalizations. But a woman with options she doesn't want is not truly equivalent to a man without any options Edited February 21, 2015 by SearchingForMyself
JohnAdams Posted February 21, 2015 Posted February 21, 2015 Head for the Hills unless you are OK with a freind with benefits. 1
Author SearchingForMyself Posted February 21, 2015 Author Posted February 21, 2015 Head for the Hills unless you are OK with a freind with benefits. Don't mind the FWB, but I already kinda like her. Which is why the whole "knowing she's screwing guys every night" is somewhat a turn-off. But these days more and more women are becoming less relationship minded. I'm just trying to adjust to the trend.
Gloria25 Posted February 21, 2015 Posted February 21, 2015 Most men who aren't rock stars don't have a lot of options. Trust me. For women who have options and can freely choose...it's different The idea of being lonely is a very real fear for a lot of men in a world full of women who chase after the same kinds of guys. I know these are generalizations. But a woman with options she doesn't want is not truly equivalent to a man without any options I'm sorry, but I don't agree... Same way you see this chick as your "option", the same way I could see one of these "hook-up" dudes as my only "option"....So, in essence we "both" don't have "options". I consider an "option" a guy that has what I'm looking for, but for some reason other than my decision, we cannot get together (i.e. distance). I do not see two guys who just wanted to get their penises wet as "options" for me. So, again, neither you nor I have "options"...lol.
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