freebird31 Posted February 21, 2015 Posted February 21, 2015 So there's this guy that works at the front desk of my gym. I first met him in the summer time. Tbh, he didn't catch my eye much. But he was always so incredibly friendly to me. Greeted me by name and asked me about my day. He is an incredibly social and friendly outgoing person. Every time I walk in, he's deep in conversation with someone. Always guys though, never other girls. Anway, about 6 months ago he came up to me in the gym one day while I was working out at a machine. He would do this sometimes. Well this time he asked me if I ever wanted to go to the gym with him at this super sport gym with more machines and that he could get me in for free. He didn't pressure or ask me for my number. He actually specifically said, midway through getting his phone out "you know what Im not going to bother you and get your number. How about one day you can just walk in and just let me know when u want to go. And we can go. I like spontaneity anyway." I said okay Okay. Well I never went. One reason was because I was still not over my ex. Another reason I just wasn't really looking for something serious. I was also very scared. School got busy. And I didn't have time to go to the gym the nights that he usually worked. So I hadn't seen him much either for a long time. Then the gym closed for 2 months for renovation. Many months later When it opened I went back. I saw him again. He acted like his normal friendly self. Asked me how my day was and what I was working on. This went on for a while. By this time, I had actually dated someone else for a few months and it didn't work out. For many reasons I think he wasn't good for me. By this time, I would say that I am finally ready to start dating and getting serious. And this guy at the front desk is exactly the type of guy I need. A good normal guy. Anyway I started to drop hints. Showed him a little extra interest. Asked him about his day. He has come up to me maybe three times in the last two months while I'm working out to make conversation. Point is it has been two months since I've been dropping hints and showing interest and he has not made any moves. Is he not interested anymore? Is he afraid I'll reject him? Does he think I'm just being friendly by making conversation? At this point, I really feel like just asking him out myself. I've never done this before. But why not! Even if he says no or is dating someone else, I will at least get a solid answer and know to back off or not. What do you guys think?
katiegrl Posted February 21, 2015 Posted February 21, 2015 (edited) No harm in asking him casually if he'd like to grab a bite to eat with you after gym. Don't make it sound like a formal date... just a casual get together with a friend. Then when you're actually out alone, flirt with him...and gauge the chemistry and how well you click!! Take it from there.. Edited February 21, 2015 by katiegrl 1
Buddhist Posted February 21, 2015 Posted February 21, 2015 Yes for God sake just ask the guy out! Stop dropping hints and being obscure. He's already asked you out once, his intentions couldn't be plainer. It's not like the chances of rejection here are high. I've asked a guy out just asked him if we wanted to catch up sometime. Phone number in my hand before I could blink. Called him the next day and we started dating.
irresolute Posted February 21, 2015 Posted February 21, 2015 yes, yes. yes, go for it. I'd have said no, don't do it, that guys love the chase and blah blah, but you know what? sometimes guys do need a little push. Nothing wrong with that. I actually invited a guy for a date tomorrow tonight and he got really excited. I was unsure whether he was into me or not, and despite everyone here told me he was not into me, I went ahead and asked him out. you'll never know until you try. Good luck
Shining One Posted February 21, 2015 Posted February 21, 2015 You should ask him out. He invited you out already and you never took him up on the offer. From his point of view, you rejected him. Now, the onus is on you to make a move. 2
mortensorchid Posted February 21, 2015 Posted February 21, 2015 I tried asking a man out, once I stopped working at the school where I taught. Via text message that is. I asked him via text if he wanted to hang out some night. He texted back "I am not interested in you romantically.". I texted back " Well love makes you fat doesn't it?". No response and for the best. Ha ha ha... If he hasn't asked other than that one instance, I doubt he will again. You can attempt, and I hope he says yes rather than that harsh reply I got, but he sounds like a friend. I think he was being friendly towards you out of professional courtesy rather than an interest otherwise. Hate to burst your bubble but facts are facts here.
soyou Posted February 21, 2015 Posted February 21, 2015 I'm a woman and I totally support your decision to ask him out in a light, fun, and casual way. For example: if it were me, I'd use a workout excuse like "Hey, I'd like to build a sexy 6 pack for the summer. Been trying different programs but nothing seems to shred my belly fat away. If you can give me some good tiips, we can go out and get some drinks/snacks, its all on me "
callingyouuu Posted February 21, 2015 Posted February 21, 2015 Is he not interested anymore? Is he afraid I'll reject him? Does he think I'm just being friendly by making conversation? I think he's still interested, but he also probably thinks you're just being friendly right now and might reject him again. I never ask girls out a second time if they've rejected me because I assume that means they're not interested, and I should move on. He made his move months ago; now it's your turn.
Author freebird31 Posted February 21, 2015 Author Posted February 21, 2015 Ok so in your guys opinion (I know some of you already shared examples), what would be the best way to bring this up ? And how? Should I do it when im coming in...or leaving out? And what exactly should I say. I totally think I will make this awkward as I'm very shy but I want to really try this because it's bugging me so much. And if he says no I can at least just back off now.
sportygirl89 Posted February 21, 2015 Posted February 21, 2015 You have more guts than I do for asking a guy out. I like a guy in my bible study. He just got promoted so I doubt he's interested in seeing girls right now. Good luck and probably after. If he makes it awkward that way you can have an easy exit.
katiegrl Posted February 21, 2015 Posted February 21, 2015 Ok so in your guys opinion (I know some of you already shared examples), what would be the best way to bring this up ? And how? Should I do it when im coming in...or leaving out? And what exactly should I say. I totally think I will make this awkward as I'm very shy but I want to really try this because it's bugging me so much. And if he says no I can at least just back off now. Next time you see him, make lots of eye contact and smile. Wait for him to approach... which he will if he's interested and has noticed you're looking at him. When he approaches, be friendly and engaging, smile! Then while you are chatting....ask him casually "hey have you had dinner yet? After my workout, I was thinking of grabbing a burger somewhere.... if you don't have plans, care to join me"?
Author freebird31 Posted February 21, 2015 Author Posted February 21, 2015 Okay I'll have to try all these things. I'll let you guys know how it goes I forgot to mention that a while back maybe two months ago I came in. And he told me that I looked so beautiful that day. It made my night. Also he is 29. And I'm 23. Perfect! I love that he's older and probably a lot more mature than most guys I've dated.
AVarma Posted February 21, 2015 Posted February 21, 2015 For example: if it were me, I'd use a workout excuse like "Hey, I'd like to build a sexy 6 pack for the summer. Been trying different programs but nothing seems to shred my belly fat away. If you can give me some good tiips, we can go out and get some drinks/snacks, its all on me " Honestly this sounds like you're trying too hard. Just say "hey wanna go for a drink some time". Easy peezy.
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