h0000 Posted February 21, 2015 Posted February 21, 2015 It has been 3 weeks since I started dating this guy. First week: talked everyday and saw each other twice. Second week: talked everyday and he said "I was thinking about setting something up again this weekend" but when weekend came, he didn't mention meeting up. I actually had to ask "so are you coming over" then he said yes. Overall we had a nice valentine but I felt weird that I had to ask. Third week: he didn't text me for couple of days. on a Thursday he text "did something bad happen to you at work this week?" (was he waiting for me to text or something?) We started talking again however he said "I might have some time to see you this weekend". I had a feeling he wont see me. so I stopped texting. My gut feeling tells me this is not going to work out. What do you guys think?
Buddhist Posted February 21, 2015 Posted February 21, 2015 I think he was showing clear interest in pursuing things with you but did have an expectation that you would reciprocate some of that interest rather than be entirely passive. Once it was clear you weren't reciprocating he probably decided, exactly as you did, that interest wasn't there and moved on. My gut tells me that if you are trying to divine someone's interest based on how often they txt you, you're likely to misinterpret things or experience what you have, the txt mexican standoff where everyone loses.
Author h0000 Posted February 21, 2015 Author Posted February 21, 2015 I think he was showing clear interest in pursuing things with you but did have an expectation that you would reciprocate some of that interest rather than be entirely passive. Once it was clear you weren't reciprocating he probably decided, exactly as you did, that interest wasn't there and moved on. My gut tells me that if you are trying to divine someone's interest based on how often they txt you, you're likely to misinterpret things or experience what you have, the txt mexican standoff where everyone loses. Maybe it's my wording that makes me sound passive. I am pretty sure I showed my clear interest in either my text messages or face-to-face interaction, I also told him I would like to see him and he knows it. But somehow I felt he cooled off and I think he wasn't serious at the beginning.
stopdreaming Posted February 21, 2015 Posted February 21, 2015 I'm in agreement with Buddhist regarding reading into the text messages. What is the chemistry when you are together? What do you do when you are together? Do you enjoy his company? At this point you should have a good idea of his interest in you, and not form how often he TM's you but how he is when he's with you. Perhaps the next time he tm's you, reply with, "give me a call when you have a moment," and start talking more on the phone to make plans or to simply have some small talk. I believe he is still interested in exploring this further, he seems to be really casual about it and what's wrong with that? it's all so new and immature. Casual is good, easy and simply nice for a little while.
rester Posted February 21, 2015 Posted February 21, 2015 It has been 3 weeks since I started dating this guy. First week: talked everyday and saw each other twice. Second week: talked everyday and he said "I was thinking about setting something up again this weekend" but when weekend came, he didn't mention meeting up. I actually had to ask "so are you coming over" then he said yes. Overall we had a nice valentine but I felt weird that I had to ask. Third week: he didn't text me for couple of days. on a Thursday he text "did something bad happen to you at work this week?" (was he waiting for me to text or something?) We started talking again however he said "I might have some time to see you this weekend". I had a feeling he wont see me. so I stopped texting. My gut feeling tells me this is not going to work out. What do you guys think? He sounds passive and wishywashy, but the bolded makes me think that he didn't hear from you and thought you might not be interested. Then you stopped texting him so that confirmed it.
Author h0000 Posted February 21, 2015 Author Posted February 21, 2015 What do you mean he sounds wishywashy? I actually don't have problems with how often he messages me..I have a problem with how much he sees me! He texts often enough but whenever I hinted we should see each other, he doesn't make exact plans..Don't you guys think so??
Author h0000 Posted February 21, 2015 Author Posted February 21, 2015 Last Saturday I was waiting for him to ask me out but he said "I'm going to the gym" I replied "call me when you finish". But eventually I called him asking if he's coming. This week on Friday when we were talking it started to get a little sexy, and I said to him "don't leave me hanging after making me in the mood, lol" That cant be any more obvious? but he said "hmm I might have time to see you over the weekend".. It's such a turn off but I still tried to keep cool and said " That's fine. Have a nice weekend" . But I do not feel like texting him anymore.
stopdreaming Posted February 21, 2015 Posted February 21, 2015 you just answered your own question. …then don't text him anymore.
Author h0000 Posted February 21, 2015 Author Posted February 21, 2015 I'm in agreement with Buddhist regarding reading into the text messages. What is the chemistry when you are together? What do you do when you are together? Do you enjoy his company? At this point you should have a good idea of his interest in you, and not form how often he TM's you but how he is when he's with you. Perhaps the next time he tm's you, reply with, "give me a call when you have a moment," and start talking more on the phone to make plans or to simply have some small talk. I believe he is still interested in exploring this further, he seems to be really casual about it and what's wrong with that? it's all so new and immature. Casual is good, easy and simply nice for a little while. yes he is so calm and casual like he is stoned the whole time. But if he isn't hot at the "honeymoon phase" will he ever be hot?? I do feel the chemistry when we are together but he is always so chilled, not "nervously excited"," butterfly in stomach" if you know what I mean. I say he is fairly interested. But I have no effing clue if he wants to go further or not. Casual is nice ,for a while. Is three weeks long enough? I don't know what I should do next?
MissBee Posted February 21, 2015 Posted February 21, 2015 It has been 3 weeks since I started dating this guy. First week: talked everyday and saw each other twice. Second week: talked everyday and he said "I was thinking about setting something up again this weekend" but when weekend came, he didn't mention meeting up. I actually had to ask "so are you coming over" then he said yes. Overall we had a nice valentine but I felt weird that I had to ask. Third week: he didn't text me for couple of days. on a Thursday he text "did something bad happen to you at work this week?" (was he waiting for me to text or something?) We started talking again however he said "I might have some time to see you this weekend". I had a feeling he wont see me. so I stopped texting. My gut feeling tells me this is not going to work out. What do you guys think? It seems like it's slowly waning, so yes, I'd prepare for it to fizzle out or for him to disappear.
BluEyeL Posted February 21, 2015 Posted February 21, 2015 Yes, based on the fact that he doesn't suggest meeting at a firm date/place and doesn't organize dates, it seems it's fizzling. I would just cut bait, don't wait around.
Gary S Posted February 21, 2015 Posted February 21, 2015 I'm impressed that you called him on the phone. It sounds like you are going above and beyond. Here is the rule you need to follow so you don't waste time: If they don't try to make a date with you at least once a week.... and I mean they need to offer a day and time.... you are probably wasting your time. 2
Author h0000 Posted February 21, 2015 Author Posted February 21, 2015 Funny thing is last night I dressed up and went out with my girls and ran into him and his friends. He grabbed me said hello. And later kept messagin me that I look great. I really want him to regret "not having time for me". How can he get the message ? Is it the best that u just don't reply anything he sent anymore? Or should I tell him I am moving on or something
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