Mengineer Posted February 20, 2015 Posted February 20, 2015 I started talking to a girl in my college classes, we have class twice a week. I started to talk to her last week. I'm confident she likes me. It's hard to ask her out as we always see each other in class. What's my window of opportunity here for asking her out? Should I just slip her a note in class asking if she has a boyfriend?
d0nnivain Posted February 20, 2015 Posted February 20, 2015 Your window is probably the semester, assuming another guy doesn't sweep in. Do not slip her a note during class that asks if she has a BF. Grade school is over. Ask her to study for the next quiz or test. If you don't have midterms, ask to go over the class notes. Ask her to grab a coffee or soda with you at the student union after class but do something to spend 1 on 1 time with her. When you are "alone" ask if her BF minds that she is studying with you. 2
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted February 20, 2015 Posted February 20, 2015 Do not delay. If she shows that she likes you, if you act swiftly and accordingly she'll be impressed with your confidence. Like don said, ask her to study or meet at a coffee shop sometime... Very low key and casual. Just enough to show her that you find her interesting to spend time with so she knows you're interested. You can work up from there. 3
preraph Posted February 20, 2015 Posted February 20, 2015 Look, you're in a classroom. The classroom has a door. When the class is over every day, everyone gets up and leaves through the door. All you have to do is beat her out the door and then wait until she comes out and start walking and talking with her. You don't even have to ask her out the first time you walk and talk. You can just make a comment about the class or what a snooze the professor is and then, and this is important, hold your hand out and introduce yourself. If she introduces herself back and seems friendly in response, say, Hey, you want to grab a coffee or something later? And then get her number and use it. 5
Author Mengineer Posted February 20, 2015 Author Posted February 20, 2015 Look, you're in a classroom. The classroom has a door. When the class is over every day, everyone gets up and leaves through the door. All you have to do is beat her out the door and then wait until she comes out and start walking and talking with her. You don't even have to ask her out the first time you walk and talk. You can just make a comment about the class or what a snooze the professor is and then, and this is important, hold your hand out and introduce yourself. If she introduces herself back and seems friendly in response, say, Hey, you want to grab a coffee or something later? And then get her number and use it. I did all that already, minus the coffee and number part. It wasn't till a few more encounters I decided to pursue her. Thanks for the replies. I'll intercept her before class and hope for the best. 2
preraph Posted February 20, 2015 Posted February 20, 2015 I did all that already, minus the coffee and number part. It wasn't till a few more encounters I decided to pursue her. Thanks for the replies. I'll intercept her before class and hope for the best. And this is only a fine point, but remember not everyone drinks coffee, so say "coffee or something" or "coffee or a Coke." This seems like a small detail but I remember turning down an invitation for "coffee" once without stopping to think it through. I said, "I don't drink coffee." And that was the end of that. It threw the guy off. Likewise, if you say "Starbucks," well, it's not good for anyone who doesn't drink coffee unless all they want is bottled water. 1
Author Mengineer Posted February 20, 2015 Author Posted February 20, 2015 And this is only a fine point, but remember not everyone drinks coffee, so say "coffee or something" or "coffee or a Coke." This seems like a small detail but I remember turning down an invitation for "coffee" once without stopping to think it through. I said, "I don't drink coffee." And that was the end of that. It threw the guy off. Likewise, if you say "Starbucks," well, it's not good for anyone who doesn't drink coffee unless all they want is bottled water. Thanks again, my plan is simple. I get to school a bit earlier to intercept her in the hall. Say hi, and then ask what she is doing after class. The rest is improvised. If she says shes busy i'll ask for a, "rain check" and try to get her number. 1
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted February 20, 2015 Posted February 20, 2015 Thanks again, my plan is simple. I get to school a bit earlier to intercept her in the hall. Say hi, and then ask what she is doing after class. The rest is improvised. If she says shes busy i'll ask for a, "rain check" and try to get her number. Go for it! 1
smackie9 Posted February 20, 2015 Posted February 20, 2015 I started talking to a girl in my college classes, we have class twice a week. I started to talk to her last week. I'm confident she likes me. It's hard to ask her out as we always see each other in class. What's my window of opportunity here for asking her out? Should I just slip her a note in class asking if she has a boyfriend? How is that it's hard to ask her out when you SEE each other in class??? Stop bing a wuss and ask her out at the end of class. Who cares if others are around....man up. Your window of opportunity is now so you better take it. 1
Author Mengineer Posted February 20, 2015 Author Posted February 20, 2015 (edited) How is that it's hard to ask her out when you SEE each other in class??? Stop bing a wuss and ask her out at the end of class. Who cares if others are around....man up. Your window of opportunity is now so you better take it. I am, as soon as I have class again. Its only been a week since we got acquainted. She's only gotten confident enough to start conversations with me since last class. We've only had 3 classes since the acquaintance, minus one for a snow day. I can't be too quick either. I was gonna ask her out end of last class. I got held up with the teacher at the end of class for reasons I won't say here. I only asked what my window was. Trust me, I will ask her out. Edited February 20, 2015 by Mengineer 1
Gary S Posted February 20, 2015 Posted February 20, 2015 The answer is, your window is huge. The reason we go on dates, primarily, in the beginning, is to get a person around us on a periodic basis so that they have the opportunity to fall in love with us. When you are in school, there is no great need to date to develop crushes... you are already surrounded by members of the opposite sex, crushes develop naturally. You play to a captive audience. Tons of crushes develop in school, and they can last for months, even years. This is why school and classes are one of the very best ways to find a relationship. The only better would be if you were a rock star. I would wait and see if she asks you out first. If she asks, there is zero rejection. Even better, learn to observe women and read them like a poker player... read their body language and what they do.... if they get loud or weird around you, they probably like you. Talk is cheap, actions scream. See what girls hit on you first. When you suspect a girl is interested in you, ask for her telephone number. That question will answer 1,000 questions. Plus, you can call her sometime for a date. If all else fails, ask for the number when you won't see them again, such as at the end of the semester. Patience pays - big time. Always date women who like you first and more and you'll never have a problem.
Author Mengineer Posted February 20, 2015 Author Posted February 20, 2015 The answer is, your window is huge. The reason we go on dates, primarily, in the beginning, is to get a person around us on a periodic basis so that they have the opportunity to fall in love with us. When you are in school, there is no great need to date to develop crushes... you are already surrounded by members of the opposite sex, crushes develop naturally. You play to a captive audience. Tons of crushes develop in school, and they can last for months, even years. This is why school and classes are one of the very best ways to find a relationship. The only better would be if you were a rock star. I would wait and see if she asks you out first. If she asks, there is zero rejection. Even better, learn to observe women and read them like a poker player... read their body language and what they do.... if they get loud or weird around you, they probably like you. Talk is cheap, actions scream. See what girls hit on you first. When you suspect a girl is interested in you, ask for her telephone number. That question will answer 1,000 questions. Plus, you can call her sometime for a date. If all else fails, ask for the number when you won't see them again, such as at the end of the semester. Patience pays - big time. Always date women who like you first and more and you'll never have a problem. She definitely likes me, or I'm delusional. I understand what you mean, be patient and build up an attraction. I don't think she would be the first to ask me out. I thought she was stuck up initially, but it seems more like shyness as I got to talk to her more. I had to get the ball rolling, i think i need to keep the momentum. I'm gonna ask her out next class. Now you say be patient? Wouldn't that be more reserved for a girl you were trying to build attractions with? 1
smackie9 Posted February 21, 2015 Posted February 21, 2015 I am, as soon as I have class again. Its only been a week since we got acquainted. She's only gotten confident enough to start conversations with me since last class. We've only had 3 classes since the acquaintance, minus one for a snow day. I can't be too quick either. You don't wait for her to be confident.....a man needs to be the one to take charge and take the lead....this is what YOU need to do and this is what girls like to see a guy do for them. Stop making excuses because you lack confidence. You need to be forward with your intentions. You don't ask her you tell her like "I want to take you out for....." or "how about you and me go see a movie this Saturday......"
Nalina_K Posted February 21, 2015 Posted February 21, 2015 Go to her and ask! Or find out her tel. number and message her. 1
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted February 21, 2015 Posted February 21, 2015 Haha, so many guys who think that girls will come to them
Author Mengineer Posted February 25, 2015 Author Posted February 25, 2015 I did ask her out, I'll give the short version. Class was over, I asked her what she was up to after. I asked her if she wanted to get a drink. We ended up eating out and I dropped her off at home. She told me she just got out of a long term relationship a few months ago. She is sorta seeing someone for the past month, but doesn't see it going anywhere. I gave her my number and told her to call me so I can take her out. She says she has to sleep on it. I'll keep chatting her up in the mean time.
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted February 25, 2015 Posted February 25, 2015 (edited) I did ask her out, I'll give the short version. Class was over, I asked her what she was up to after. I asked her if she wanted to get a drink. We ended up eating out and I dropped her off at home. She told me she just got out of a long term relationship a few months ago. She is sorta seeing someone for the past month, but doesn't see it going anywhere. I gave her my number and told her to call me so I can take her out. She says she has to sleep on it. I'll keep chatting her up in the mean time. That's fine since you're both in the same class and all - don't IGNORE her, but don't indulge her either. Play it cool and act like you don't care. She seems on the fence about you though - so don't be surprised if it doesn't work out. If she told you she's seeing someone but it isn't going anywhere - it probably means she's getting railed by someone and doesn't want a relationship out of it. She might just be letting you down easy - "I'll sleep on it" is basically a NO. Edited February 25, 2015 by barcode88
d0nnivain Posted February 25, 2015 Posted February 25, 2015 Good for you for taking the initiative. Unfortunately her luke warm response wasn't ideal. I would keep chatting with her but assume that she is not ready & conduct yourself accordingly. 1
Author Mengineer Posted February 25, 2015 Author Posted February 25, 2015 "I'll sleep on it" is basically a NO. Don't quote me verbatim, that's not how it happened. I only gave a nutshell of the story. I think she has some bad guy experiences, and she's not sure about me yet. Plus she has a lot of problems of her own I won't mention. So i will keep talking to her. 1
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted February 25, 2015 Posted February 25, 2015 (edited) Don't quote me verbatim, that's not how it happened. I only gave a nutshell of the story. I think she has some bad guy experiences, and she's not sure about me yet. Plus she has a lot of problems of her own I won't mention. So i will keep talking to her. You need to alter your mindset here. She is not some helpless victim who needs to be rescued - which regardless isn't your problem. I guarantee you she probably has a FWB going with the other guy you mentioned - and the lukewarm response she gave you means she doesn't see you as a potential sexual partner. You are giving her more credit than she deserves. Don't emasculate yourself to this girl who isn't into you. Talk to her in class and be civil, but stop talking to her outside of class. Edited February 25, 2015 by barcode88
Author Mengineer Posted February 25, 2015 Author Posted February 25, 2015 You need to alter your mindset here. She is not some helpless victim who needs to be rescued - which regardless isn't your problem. I guarantee you she probably has a FWB going with the other guy you mentioned - and the lukewarm response she gave you means she doesn't see you as a potential sexual partner. You are giving her more credit than she deserves. Don't emasculate yourself to this girl who isn't into you. Talk to her in class and be civil, but stop talking to her outside of class. I know, don't let her take advantage of me. I'm not, trust me. I appreciate what yo are saying. You still don't know even a 1/4 of the story. Regardless, I don't take anything she says seriously, obviously since I do not know her all that well. I am not going to chase her either. She has my number, she can call me. I will treat her the same as the first day we met.
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