towardthefuture Posted February 20, 2015 Posted February 20, 2015 So I finally get the number of a girl I really think I like for the first time since my relationship ended in late Nov, and I want to set up a first date. Normally before I call a girl I wait at least two days before. But I got her number on Wednesday, so two days would be Saturday. That means I'd have to wait a whole week until a date on next Friday and that's long enough the interest level could die down instead of peak. So should I contact her today and try to set up for tomorrow, or tomorrow and try to set up for Friday?
PegNosePete Posted February 20, 2015 Posted February 20, 2015 Do what you feel like. I very much doubt she will base her decision to accept or decline on the exact date that you call. If she does, is that the kind of person you want to date anyway?
Author towardthefuture Posted February 20, 2015 Author Posted February 20, 2015 I've been on a few dates since my BU but they were mostly to 'get back out there', this girl I actually like so I don't want to call too early and come off as over-eager or too late and come off as uninterested. I think I'll contact her this afternoon and set up for next Friday, tomorrow is too short notice. That seems like the lesser of two evils
mammasita Posted February 20, 2015 Posted February 20, 2015 Why are you setting this "two day" rule. If I were her and really liked you I would be wondering why you waited so long to call and take it that I wasn't your first option.
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted February 20, 2015 Posted February 20, 2015 Unless you know her really well and already have good rapport, I would avoid calling the first couple dates - unless its very clear that she's receptive to phone communication. Phone convos can be awkward when you don't know someone well - so unless you're a phone pro, stick to texting. Otherwise I'd say anytime between 6-8pm is probably safe. 2 days is too long to wait. Wait 16-24 hours.
Mrin Posted February 20, 2015 Posted February 20, 2015 Why are you setting this "two day" rule. If I were her and really liked you I would be wondering why you waited so long to call and take it that I wasn't your first option. Exactly right.
katiegrl Posted February 20, 2015 Posted February 20, 2015 (edited) I've been on a few dates since my BU but they were mostly to 'get back out there', this girl I actually like so I don't want to call too early and come off as over-eager or too late and come off as uninterested. I think I'll contact her this afternoon and set up for next Friday, tomorrow is too short notice. That seems like the lesser of two evils Trust me if she likes you...she will LOVE it that you called sooner rather than later! Contact her today and say you know it's short notice, but would she like to get together Sunday? The absolute worst thing you could do is over-think!! Please don't do that...you will over-think your way right into relationship never-never land! Don't strategize...just play it honestly, naturally and gradually... if she's the right girl for you, there is really no right way or wrong way...unless you're bombarding her with texts/calls, and suffocating her to death. But calling today would be great! Again, if she's into you, she will love it. If she doesn't, then it wouldn't have mattered how long you waited!. Edited February 20, 2015 by katiegrl 3
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted February 20, 2015 Posted February 20, 2015 Trust me if she likes you...she will LOVE it that you called sooner rather than later! Contact her today and say you know it's short notice, but would she like to get together Sunday? The absolute worst thing you could do is over-think!! Please don't do that...you will over-think your way right into relationship never-never land! Don't strategize...just play it honestly, naturally and gradually... if she's the right girl for you, there is really no right way or wrong way...unless you're bombarding her with texts/calls, and suffocating her to death. But calling today would be great! Again, if she's into you, she will love it. If she doesn't, then it wouldn't have mattered how long you waited!. Speaking from experience - Women say they want you to call right away. But in reality if you're too available for them, they'll lose interest. BUT... Subconsciously they will be much more into you if you keep them waiting just a little bit longer. If you call right away, you gave them what they want too easy. If you keep just a little bit of distance you exude an aura of mystery and you show that you're not super needy. I'm not saying wait TWO days... But waiting 24 hours (or slightly less) isn't a terrible idea. Yes I hate games, but sometimes they're necessary 2
katiegrl Posted February 20, 2015 Posted February 20, 2015 (edited) Speaking from experience - Women say they want you to call right away. But in reality if you're too available for them, they'll lose interest. BUT... Subconsciously they will be much more into you if you keep them waiting just a little bit longer. If you call right away, you gave them what they want too easy. If you keep just a little bit of distance you exude an aura of mystery and you show that you're not super needy. I'm not saying wait TWO days... But waiting 24 hours (or slightly less) isn't a terrible idea. Yes I hate games, but sometimes they're necessary That may be true ..for "little girls" who haven't grown up and don't know what the hell they want. Or for girls who aren't really into you...but intrigued by the challenge you present (by playing "waiting" and other games). Confident, secure, grown up women who know what they want .... and who become attracted to guys who are actually into them .... and act like they're into them..... will LOVE it! If you're a guy, maybe you have never met a woman who was actually into you...for YOU...and only became into you after you started playing games and became a challenge! Is that the type of little girl you want? One who is only into you cause you're a challenge and a "mystery"? What happens when you get into a relationship... and stop being a challenge and mystery? Won't she lose interest? Games are for children...not for adults looking for a harmonious mutually rewarding loving relationship.. Edited February 20, 2015 by katiegrl
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted February 20, 2015 Posted February 20, 2015 (edited) That may be true ..for "little girls" who haven't grown up and don't know what the hell they want. Or for girls who aren't really into you...but intrigued by the challenge you present (by playing "waiting" and other games). Confident, secure, grown up women who know what they want .... and who become attracted to guys who are actually into them .... and act like they're into them..... will LOVE it! If you're a guy, maybe you have never met a woman who was actually into you...for YOU...and only became into you after you started playing games and became a challenge! Is that the type of little girl you want? One who is only into you cause you're a challenge and a "mystery"? What happens when you get into a relationship... and stop being a challenge and mystery? Won't she lose interest? Games are for children...not for adults looking for a harmonious mutually rewarding loving relationship.. Well I'm 26 and I'd say it applies well up to 30 so far from what I can tell. Women are being chased by a lot of guys, and you have to seem desirable more than the rest to stand out. After the second date I will become more available if things are going well. I find keeping a short distance at first helps you prepare for rejection better. I might not have the best dating or relationship track record to say I'm an expert on this -- but in the past when I was younger I had issues with Women mainly because I would come on too strong, or was too available for them at first. Edited February 20, 2015 by barcode88
katiegrl Posted February 20, 2015 Posted February 20, 2015 After the second date I will become more available if things are going well. I find keeping a short distance at first helps you prepare for rejection better. ^^ I actually agree with that. If your reason is self-protection..to prevent YOURSELF from getting too attached too soon...and NOT some silly game you're playing hoping to intrigue her ... then I am all for that!
d0nnivain Posted February 20, 2015 Posted February 20, 2015 You can call right away but apply your "two day" rule to the minimum amount of advance notice you give for the date. You call up on Friday & ask for a date that night or Saturday, especially if she's a Rules girl, she will think that you don't value her at all based on the last minute invite. You also run the risk that she is busy or that you insult her by assuming that she's not busy or she'll drop her plans for you & she will go through the whole I can't say yes because then I seem too available. I'm all for the early call but it should be to set up a date in the future. 1
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