Should I break up with my 4 months of gf to avoid possible future pain?

[youcanever]

My gf (22) and I (25) have been dating for 4 months. I've came to a small city due to my aviation training and I've met this girl. We hit it off very quick but I am a very jealous guy and I've had some trust issues towards her due to some of her actions. Our relationship is not going perfect right now because I am lucky if I see her once a week.

 

She is planning to go to a big city in august to become an air hostess. I am also jealous of that and I don't trust her as much as she shows herself trustable but I don't trust girls at all, so I am considering breaking up with her so I can avoid future pain in the middle of my training and don't get heartbreak over her and focus on my training.

 

But on the other hand I love her and if I break up, I know that I won't be able to find a better girl than her. Very beautiful, very sexy and do awesome stuff on bed. And as I said, it is a small town and not much girls.

 

Very confused. I have never broke up with someone before. All my gfs broke up with me. Not sure what to do.

 

I'd love to hear some advice.

[jus d'orange]

You admit as much that your trusting of her doesn't really depend on her actions but on your own ability or inability to trust women. First of all, regardless of whether you continue this relationship or end it, you need to deal with that. Healthy relationships depend on trust between the partners; if you can't provide that, then it will be nigh impossible for you to have a healthy relationship. I recommend doing some serious soul-searching over your trust issues, including possibly seeking counselling if you can't tackle it on your own. If you've been cheated on in the past, it's more understandable, but one person's actions don't define everybody else's either.

 

Your description of her doesn't sound like it's on such a deep level -- you're focussed mostly on physical attributes, which are obviously PART of a relationship, but they're definitely not the most important aspect. Do you respect her enough to trust her and be in a relationship with her? If you feel like you want to break up with her just to avoid your own problems with jealousy, then maybe you should end the relationship for both of yours sakes. Since you're considering breaking up with her based on imaginations of possible future infidelity or jealousy, I'm not sure if I can advise you to do something different other than try to work on your problems. If you can't do that at the same time as cultivating a respectful and trusting relationship, you should let her go and focus on your own issues first.

 

Sorry if this is harsh. You seem like you want healthy and satisfying relationships, but you need to be able to bring that to the table yourself.