To all Other Men out there: hope.breakup.heart break..NC..time..healing

[snl]

Hello OM.

 

If you are reading this and are an OM going through pain right now (either you are painfully waiting for "good news" from your MW) or just broke up and trying to survive NC:

 

firstly i wish you strength. I have been there and do recall all these sleepless nights and sadness when not being together with her guessing/imagining things.

 

after several attempts of breakup/NC and going back again and again we ended it mutually 2 months ago.För good this time. I promised myself to stick to it this time unless she is ends her current relationship (Something I should have done way before).

 

I am writing you because everyone told me time cures anything and stick to NC (Full NC no facebook no nothing) and 2 months later finally I am over the hill of pain. If I can do it then you can do it. What is important though to also consider seeking help (I went to life coaches and psychologists) because i suffered so much. or talk to friends. Dont burry it inside you. There is a life after and once you come out of this whole mess (it is messy and painful) you will be a stronger person (and hopefully you can take the good Learnings Out of this). What helps a lot after you recovery starts to help others as much as you can (even just being a good listener sometimes does magic). Two months down the road I still think of her (there is no switch as we are only human) but life goes on and to avoid suffering I decided to stay on this path of recovery and move on. Many öf you might say your situation is different and think there is a chance ... at the end it is your journey but very often you might end up remaining alone hoping for her break up (I talked to so many married female friends and many would never leave a husband despite all for someone else)...not impossible but highly unlikely. Hence if you are suffering get out and then stay strong. stick to NC. wishing you lots of strength and better days will come (you can do it)

[Eagle's-bargain]

Hello OM.

 

If you are reading this and are an OM going through pain right now (either you are painfully waiting for "good news" from your MW) or just broke up and trying to survive NC:

 

firstly i wish you strength. I have been there and do recall all these sleepless nights and sadness when not being together with her guessing/imagining things.

 

after several attempts of breakup/NC and going back again and again we ended it mutually 2 months ago.För good this time. I promised myself to stick to it this time unless she is ends her current relationship (Something I should have done way before).

 

I am writing you because everyone told me time cures anything and stick to NC (Full NC no facebook no nothing) and 2 months later finally I am over the hill of pain. If I can do it then you can do it. What is important though to also consider seeking help (I went to life coaches and psychologists) because i suffered so much. or talk to friends. Dont burry it inside you. There is a life after and once you come out of this whole mess (it is messy and painful) you will be a stronger person (and hopefully you can take the good Learnings Out of this).

 

What helps a lot after you recovery starts to help others as much as you can (even just being a good listener sometimes does magic). Two months down the road I still think of her (there is no switch as we are only human) but life goes on and to avoid suffering I decided to stay on this path of recovery and move on.

 

Many öf you might say your situation is different and think there is a chance ... at the end it is your journey but very often you might end up remaining alone hoping for her break up (I talked to so many married female friends and many would never leave a husband despite all for someone else)...not impossible but highly unlikely. Hence if you are suffering get out and then stay strong. stick to NC. wishing you lots of strength and better days will come (you can do it)

 

 

 

I don't know if I agree with you that it will get better or easier.

 

It's a serious moral dilemma when a person lives their own life and yet becomes an OM or OW. The price tag isn't talked about, and the possibility of commitment isn't talked about either. Some people are in marriages that only work because there is the illusion of love. So when the OM or OW feels like they are fulfilling another person, it feels great. Even better when the other people, regardless of them being married is doing it back and things are in sync. It makes you wonder if the marriage was truly one of love or convenience.

 

Then when the MW or MM goes back to the BS, it makes an OM wonder if morality matters. Or rather, does it really matter how another person treats someone else? If everyone is doing the "convenient" thing, why should someone feel bad?

 

I suppose betrayal is confusing. It is fascinating that people will hurt each other, often intentionally, and yet they will still forgive without reservations, often due to love (or a chemical reaction in the brain). I'm not so sure things will get better.

[jbp005]

I'm a little over 1 month in NC, I am still feeling depressed and think about her at least once a day. It's really hard to care so much for someone then just walk away. I really just want to get past this feeling of did I make the right choice or not. I know I did, but that doubt always lingers. When I originally went NC I felt like a weight had been lifted, that lasted a few days.

[Chasing_mya]

I admire your strength with doing something that I know was devastatingly hard. I know the pain you went through and all the sleepless nights where the only thing that consumed you was that person. I've been there with the breaking up & going back. You miss them so much that you just want to stop the ache in your heart so you return, knowing it's just a vicious cycle. You did the right thing and you'll feel better as the days go by. It's all a healing process but trust & believe when you look back at this years from now you'll smile knowing that you loved you enough to let her go. Wishing you many more strong days full of peace & love.

[RickFox]

Yes, it does get better and the thoughts and memories become very infrequent. Triggers will always be there but it gets much easier the longer you stay away