Met a girl online, met in real life two times the past week... something feels wrong.

[HoldOn]

Enigma,

 

It's time to move this relationship out of fantasy, e-mail land into real-life land! E-mails were fine in the getting to know you stage, but now you are out of that. If you want the relp to move on, you've got to CALL her.

 

Here's what she might be thinking.... If he likes me, why doesn't he try to kiss me? If he really wanted to move this relationship along, he would call me. He must not be that into me, I'm going to pull back a little bit to guard my heart.

 

Seriously, you've got to call her. E-mail is for chickens!

 

You already know she likes you, I mean she said yes to a second date and she hugged you! Hello.

 

Anyway, as if I haven't said it enough... Call her!

[moimeme]

Too late. He already emailed her. Can't call now.

[Enigma]

Well, she replied to the mail, it seems that she has just been busy lately. She keeps asking me what my plans are for the near future.. and, yeah, i told you im new at this, but im guessing thats a sign ...

 

So, i think ill ask her if we can do something together. the question is, what? Cinema = Not such a good idea. Thats what i think atleast... we could go to the same cafe as last time, it got a nice atmosphere and we had a great time when we were there last time.... we have talked alot about "movienights" and when we talked about those at the cafe and i complained that i had this movie that noone other then me wanted to see, she offered to come see it with me though, that includes her coming to my place though, and it just feels way too soon to suggest anything like that... even though it would probably be fun. My room is basically made for watching movies, big sofa, big tv, lighting etc.. (if you havent noticed, i like my room Ive spent ages painting and fixing furniture and stuff up.. so bear with me if i get too boring talking about it ) So yeah, im certain it would be nice to have a movienight with her, and its nothing a uncommon thing for people of our age to do around here, but yeah, i dont have any clue when it could be appropiate to suggest that :/...

 

Whoa, thats alot of random nonsense.... So on to a real question. In your opinion, how should i ask, and what should we do if we meet again? Random tips are also good.

 

Thanks for the help sofar.

[HoldOn]

we could go to the same cafe as last time

 

Hey, let's be a little more creative than that.

 

Is there nothing to do in your town? At the cafe did you have a real dinner or just coffee? If no dinner, you've got to ask her to dinner. That's a real date!

 

Otherwise, here are some ideas (some might sound silly, but bear with me!)

-Bowling

-mini-golfing

-picnic in the park

-or just walking in the park

-Nice drinking establishment

-Comedy show.

-Museum (art museum)

-

Uhhh, that's all I can think of right now.

 

Anyway, if you like this girl, first, you have to call her and second you have to ask her out again. Show her a good time! Be a man with a plan, she'll swoon, I swear it.

[HoldOn]

Also, you have to kiss her! Three dates with no kiss, she'll think you are not interested.

[Enigma]

Ah. Theres a problem ... Kissing.

 

As i mentioned before my complete lack of selfconfidene has completely destroyed any chance of a relationship ive had for the last years... and its still haunting me, i find it hard to actually... do anything affectionate with a girl i like, kissing, heck, even hugging. I just cant seem to get myself to take the first step. If i know the girl likes me, then no problem. But if i got any doubt whether the girl likes me in "that" way or not, i just cant do it... which is extremely problematic...

 

About where and what to do with her, i still think shed like the idea to just go to this cafe best... because we both agreed that theres no better way to spend time then on a cafe, with nice people. And suggesting to go out to dinner.. might seem kinda weird... the other ideas are good though.. I guess im still trying to avoid plain out showing/telling her i like her... since yeah, taking a step means a chance to mess it up.. and that would just plain suck... i know i gotta do something though... argharghargh... I hate knowing the right thing to do but still feei unable to actually do it...

 

Damn i ramble alot...

[Enigma]

I guess the reason i keep hanging onto the cafe idea, is because its safe to suggest that we go to a cafe, while asking her out to dinner is flat out telling her i really like her...

[Merin]

There is nothing wrong with having a dinner date...

 

The 2 of you have already had a first *date*

This doesn't need to be at a big fancy expensive restaraunt.. take her to a casual, not to expensive but nice place to eat.. then after dinner head over to the Cafe' to linger over coffee' and conversation.

 

You can do this!

[HoldOn]

Ok, I don't know what to say!!

 

What's wrong with dinner? You'd be admitting you like her? What's wrong with that? Why do you think she's going out with you? I'll help you out here... it's because she likes you.

 

What do you think she's going to think? "Oh, he asked me out to dinner, he must really like me. Now's my chance to break his heart!" No, I don't think so. You've got to take some risks.

 

It is a greater risk that she'll think you are not interested romantically. OR she'll think you're a wimp! Wouldn't you rather risk that she'll think you like her. Come on now.

 

 

Hey, it's great that you both loooved the cafe so much, but now it's time for something new. You're never going to get anywhere just hanging out at the cafe! You're going to turn into a "good friend", not a boyfriend!

[Mary3]

Talking online through emails is one thing but meeting in real life has a different turn for most. You either confirm that you have something special or that other person ( or you ) decides this was not right for a continual persuant relationship.

 

It happens everyday !

 

Mysteriously the workings on the conscious mind never cease to amaze........just try one more time, be specific , and if you are rejected again , you have your answer.....

[EnigmaXOXO]

As i mentioned before my complete lack of selfconfidene has completely destroyed any chance of a relationship ive had for the last years... and its still haunting me, i find it hard to actually... do anything affectionate with a girl i like, kissing, heck, even hugging. I just cant seem to get myself to take the first step. If i know the girl likes me, then no problem. But if i got any doubt whether the girl likes me in "that" way or not, i just cant do it... which is extremely problematic...

 

I've always sympathized with guys on this part…finding the courage to make the first "move."

 

As far as confidence, you should have plenty at this point. You've landed a THIRD date. If there was any doubt about her liking you, that should be gone by now. However, unless you muster the courage to show some sign of affection, you'll be in serious danger of slipping ever closer to that dreaded "friends" zone. That stagnant, lack-luster, relationship purgatory to which there is no return!

 

I'm sure you don't want to become that "buddy" that she hangs out with just because there's nothing else going on. If you lack courage and confidence, than FAKE IT. Take her hand, put your arm around her…or something! And whatever you do don't "ask" for permission. Just do it nonchalantly as if it feels like the most natural thing in the world to you. Females like it when guys take the initiative, just as much as guys wish that more females would do the same. Even if you don't feel confident, it will appear as if you are. And that will make ALL the difference in the world!