li'l bunny Posted April 5, 2005 Posted April 5, 2005 You meet someone, you kiss them, you see them a few times a week (plans made especially) and kiss them each time.... But when do you consider this person your girlfriend?? People don't seem to ASK anymore, they just keep going on and on. I was talking to a friend of mine who has been with the same girl for a month and I called her his girlfriend, and he said 'she's not my girlfriend'. This I find very confusing, it's not as if they're seeing anyone else!
theedge Posted April 5, 2005 Posted April 5, 2005 Hey there, I would say its all about the people involved. With my girlfriend I told her about 2-3 weeks in to dating that I essentially was no longer on the market. When I date though I focus on the one person. At that point she said she wasn't looking either, but I don't think we made it official till about a month later. I sat down and had a talk with her. She agreed that we were stable enough so thats how that happened.
alphamale Posted April 5, 2005 Posted April 5, 2005 Originally posted by li'l bunny But when do you consider this person your girlfriend?? when she is having sex with only one person and that person is you
blind_otter Posted April 5, 2005 Posted April 5, 2005 I always thought, after "the talk" about being exclusive. I do that, though, hang out with people casually for a while before making a committment to them alone. I mean, I want to make sure that it's worth it.
li'l bunny Posted April 5, 2005 Posted April 5, 2005 when she is having sex with only one person and that person is you Not sure about that because I was having sex with H for six months before we were girlfriend/boyfriend. I wanted to but he didn't , he just wanted the sex. hang out with people casually for a while before making a committment to them alone. I agree with this but this guy and girl are seeing each other exclusively but he still doesn't consider her his girlfriend. Do girls generally call the guys 'boyfriend' earlier than vice versa??
EC Posted April 5, 2005 Posted April 5, 2005 I think after you have sex and you have had the "exclusive" talk. I wish it was easy as when we were in highschool..lol "Do you want to be my girlfriend circle yes or no?" My friends bf asked her really cute though...he whispered if she wanted to make this official? Or like my dodo head bf...I didn't know I was his gf until he was introducing me to his friends and they asked 'wow she's hot is she your gf or do I have first dibs' but my bf said shes my gf...lol news to me!
li'l bunny Posted April 5, 2005 Posted April 5, 2005 Or like my dodo head bf...I didn't know I was his gf until he was introducing me to his friends and they asked 'wow she's hot is she your gf or do I have first dibs' but my bf said shes my gf...lol news to me! That's hilarious....but cute too. With my H he kept telling me he wasn't interested in a relationship until I was in his house one day and went down to get a bottle of wine to go with dinner. When I came back there was a blow up alien (I bought this for myself as a kind of joke!) inside the front door with a note in its hand that read " I love you" Why doesn't he do those things anymore?!
EC Posted April 5, 2005 Posted April 5, 2005 That's hilarious....but cute too. With my H he kept telling me he wasn't interested in a relationship until I was in his house one day and went down to get a bottle of wine to go with dinner. When I came back there was a blow up alien (I bought this for myself as a kind of joke!) inside the front door with a note in its hand that read " I love you" Why doesn't he do those things anymore?! Because they know we love their stanky balls so they don't have to impress us anymore. Its so sad. But I told my bf I get very bored...very easily. The ticket is to 'earn your wings everyday' meaning do something small and sweet and sometimes unexpected to keep me on my toes and to not let the fire die out between us. He's been very good about it and so have I. Even if its just a quick e-mail or text message saying I love you.
MiamiMami Posted April 5, 2005 Posted April 5, 2005 What about in my situation? I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years, he makes it clear that he does not want me to be with any other man but early on he made it clear also that he is not the exclusive type as far as he is concerned. I love him so much that I accept this especially since it's not in my face and I do not see the evidence but instead he is being upfront about it as far as sharing the reality which most men hide. (Don't most men cheat anyways?) During sex he'll ask if I've been with another man, I'll say no only you, and ask him, he'll say something along the lines of "right now I'm with you" giving the impression that the night before he may have been with someone else. We spend about 4 nights of the week together and I THINK he's my boyfriend but I don't know!!!!!!!! What do you think? Is it possible that I'm his girlfriend but he's not mine? or ?
Cecelius Posted April 5, 2005 Posted April 5, 2005 She's your g/f when she says "no more nookie until you admit I'm your g/f" and you say okay. And, Miami, you may be his g/f, but he's not your b/f. You should get another man.
paradox Posted April 5, 2005 Posted April 5, 2005 Miami you shouldn't allow him to treat you this way. Just give him a break to decide whether he really wants to hang out just with you, since he seems so undecisive about the whole issue. After 2 yrs im sure that's not what you want to hear. You maybe mad in love but you should have respect for yourself and that's how he'l respect you Lil' bunny why don't you just ask him if he considers you his gf or find out in some other way i.e through his mates
Vicereine Posted April 6, 2005 Posted April 6, 2005 For me was after the first time we fooled around a bit, he said something along the lines of 'so are you my gf now?', I said yes and we made a mental note of the date. Before this I had always thought a bf/gf is someone you are dating, he had a different opinion of this which seems to be the general consensus (?), dating does not mean you are in a bf/gf relationship. I realize the first couple dates may be just to get to know the person, however in my case I prefer the whole 'friends first' thing so the way I see it is he is already my friend, now we are dating, it has become something more. Obviously this is different if you have just met.
li'l bunny Posted April 6, 2005 Posted April 6, 2005 Originally posted by paradox Lil' bunny why don't you just ask him if he considers you his gf or find out in some other way i.e through his mates It's not me, I'm already married. It's a friend of mine and I was curious as to why he didn't consider her his girlfriend. Then it turned out he had no idea when you consider someone your girlfriend. Generally, from where I come from, you meet, snog, and if there is a mutual attraction you meet up again and again, so you're 'seeing' the person. But it is unclear as to when this person becomes your girl/boyfriend. early on he made it clear also that he is not the exclusive type as far as he is concerned. Miami, honey, that guy you're with sounds like an a$$!! Unless you want to be with someone who sleeps around. Men can control any primitive instincts they have and many men do because they love the person they are with, and that means more to them than the pressure to unload their sacks.
Pendawn Posted April 6, 2005 Posted April 6, 2005 It is an awkward problem. I loathed the idea of asking "are you my boyfriend now?" just found it cringey, but after a month I still didn't know. I was preparing myself to ask when I totally casually mentoined that it had been a month since our first date. he said "So is that our one month anniversary then?" I was so shocked, i asked him to repeat and he said "Does that count as our one month anniversary then?". And there I had my answer.
alphamale Posted April 6, 2005 Posted April 6, 2005 Originally posted by Pendawn It is an awkward problem. I loathed the idea of asking "are you my boyfriend now?" PENDAWN, it is the female's job to ask for exclusivity from a man and a man's job to ask for marriage from a woman. accept it and we'll all rest easier.
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