lil_missy Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 So i been seeing this wonderful guy since beginning Jan this year. so its been 6-7 weeks now. I know it hasn't been very long, but we used to know each other years ago so I felt like I know him quite well. I wrote a couple of threads about him before. I wasn't that into him in the beginning but he was very consistent in pursuing me and he started to grow on me. He planned a very romantic valentines day for us, took me to dinner, bought me a present and card. I cried coz I was so touched. after Vday which was Sat, we spoke like normal for 2 days. Then I didnt hear from him for 3 days. Last night was the 3rd night I didnt hear from him, plus it was Chinese new year. even his best friend, who I've met several times msged me happy new year. But I didnt hear from him. so I sent him a msg " happy new year" and he didnt reply. So i called him and he didnt pick up. He called back and said he was at the gym before and going to the temple now for chinese new year, can he call me later but will it be too late? I said ok. I waited til 11.30 and he didnt call, so i msged him and said im going to bed now talk to you tmr maybe. Do you guys think this is the end? has he had a sudden change of heart? usually i wouldn't freak out over 3 days, but the fact that he didnt even wish me well on New Year - the girl he supposedly likes - really makes me think something is wrong. p.s we haven't slept together and he hasn't suggested that we do either.
BluEyeL Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 Any incidents while you were talking after V-day? Maybe he met someone else?? I'd say give it time. In general a change of patterns is bad news. Something must have happened within the past three days. 2
Author lil_missy Posted February 19, 2015 Author Posted February 19, 2015 Any incidents while you were talking after V-day? Maybe he met someone else?? I'd say give it time. In general a change of patterns is bad news. Something must have happened within the past three days. Not that I know of. He could have met someone else. But in 3 days? And after he did all those things for me on vday? Unless his ex came back or something The only thing I thought was weird was that he did not call me on Sunday or Monday but msged. Usually he loves to call and hear my voice ( his own words) and prefers calling to msging
Omei Posted February 20, 2015 Posted February 20, 2015 All that then distance, hmmm that is very mysteriously odd indeed. 1
BluEyeL Posted February 20, 2015 Posted February 20, 2015 It is very odd. I think you need to wait it out and see, you'll find out. I know it's hard to wait.
elaine567 Posted February 20, 2015 Posted February 20, 2015 Maybe it is just as simple as - he went back to his ex. Sorry, whatever it is, it doesn't really sound good. 1
Author lil_missy Posted February 20, 2015 Author Posted February 20, 2015 dear LS crew, my suspicions were confirmed. he has had a change of heart. tonight i called him and he was having fun chilling at his mates place. we talked for a bit then i asked him if everything's alright, i haven't heard much from him this week. he kept replying " yeh im alright im alright" when its obvious that i'm asking about US, not just about him. so i let it go. he said he will talk to me later or during the week. so I know he is not going to contact me again any time soon and our plans this wknd are cancelled. he is entitled to changed his mind but im angry that he didnt have the decency to just be upfront with me about it. i'm thinking of sending a final text to end it so i can move on, something like this" Hi, i can tell you are not feeling it anymore for whatever reason. and i can also tell that its too hard for you to come out and say it. so dont worry there's no hard feelings, i think we both knew that we were not compatible. good luck" what does everyone think? thanks
Winterina Posted February 20, 2015 Posted February 20, 2015 sounds good. send it and move on. don't expect anything from him. if he does contact you to answer or for whatever reason, do not fall for it. 1
beyond Posted February 20, 2015 Posted February 20, 2015 dear LS crew, my suspicions were confirmed. he has had a change of heart. tonight i called him and he was having fun chilling at his mates place. we talked for a bit then i asked him if everything's alright, i haven't heard much from him this week. he kept replying " yeh im alright im alright" when its obvious that i'm asking about US, not just about him. so i let it go. he said he will talk to me later or during the week. so I know he is not going to contact me again any time soon and our plans this wknd are cancelled. he is entitled to changed his mind but im angry that he didnt have the decency to just be upfront with me about it. i'm thinking of sending a final text to end it so i can move on, something like this" Hi, i can tell you are not feeling it anymore for whatever reason. and i can also tell that its too hard for you to come out and say it. so dont worry there's no hard feelings, i think we both knew that we were not compatible. good luck" what does everyone think? thanks If you really must send a message, then why one that is dishonest and very passive aggressive? "Don't worry, there's no hard feelings" - well there obviously ARE hard feelings. "I think we both knew that we were not compatible" - no, you thought you were compatible. Personally, I wouldn't send anything. 2
BluEyeL Posted February 20, 2015 Posted February 20, 2015 Don't send anything. Just disappear. He'll be back and he'll talk to you, I think. 3
Diezel Posted February 20, 2015 Posted February 20, 2015 sounds good. send it and move on. don't expect anything from him. if he does contact you to answer or for whatever reason, do not fall for it. Or just avoid all of this by NOT sending a final text. Just delete his phone number. 2
writergal Posted February 20, 2015 Posted February 20, 2015 I'd just delete his cell phone # from your cell phone. If he respected you even one iota, he wouldn't have acted like such a jack ass on the phone when you talked to him. He would have told you point blank that he had a change of heart, enjoyed his time with you, but that he just wanted to be friends. That's only if he respected you. Clearly, he doesn't if he blew off your phone convo with him by leaving it open-ended when he'll call you. Guys like him really annoy me. Huge ego, small _ _ _ _. 2
Author lil_missy Posted February 20, 2015 Author Posted February 20, 2015 (edited) Thanks guys, I can't believe he was such a jerk to at the end considering all his nice behaviour beforehand. That's why I had to send him the text. To have a couple of last digs at him. When I said I know it's too hard for you to come out and say it im telling him that he has no balls. I agree there is hard feelings, but only because he was a jerk for playing me for a fool when it was over, not because he changed his mind. And lastly I did truly believe we were not compatible, we are almost from diff socioeconomic backgrounds, he earns less and is less educated than me and has no ambition. But I wanted to give him a chance since he was so "good" to me but he blew it. I wanted him to know that it was my choice too. I also knew that we are incompatible because I'm not compatible with arseholes Anyway all he did was reply "okay then" Edited February 20, 2015 by lil_missy
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