GarrusVakarian Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 Been doing the online dating thing for a few months now. Started chatting to a girl on there. She seemed really great, anyway couple of days later she messaged me giving me her phone number and said lets text. So we did that for a few days. I asked her out and she said yes. So we arranged it for the following week. Two days before date, she messages me saying due to work and a lot going on she is going to have to cancel. But made no mention of re-scheduling. I just said fine. Let me know if you want to re-arrange and she said will do. I just left the ball in her court. I know her excuse is genuine, the hospital she works at is being closed down and she is being re-located this week and its been in the press. My instinct tells me, no way should I make contact with her again. After all she cancelled. If she is interested its up to her. So far I have not heard from her since Monday when she cancelled, so I am going to leave it at that. Shame though she was pretty hot!. Anyone else been in a similar boat?. How did you deal with it?.
d0nnivain Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 Your instincts are correct. Especially with OLD if you get vague reasons for the cancellation (work) with no specific reschedule that means for whatever reason the person lost interest or is too emotionally fragile to go out in public to meet new people. Either way, you are better off staying away. If she wants to reschedule, she needs to reach out. Her failure to do that means there is no hope & you are better off not chasing.
Gaeta Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 (edited) Been doing the online dating thing for a few months now. Started chatting to a girl on there. She seemed really great, anyway couple of days later she messaged me giving me her phone number and said lets text. So we did that for a few days. I asked her out and she said yes. So we arranged it for the following week. Two days before date, she messages me saying due to work and a lot going on she is going to have to cancel. But made no mention of re-scheduling. I just said fine. Let me know if you want to re-arrange and she said will do. I just left the ball in her court. I know her excuse is genuine, the hospital she works at is being closed down and she is being re-located this week and its been in the press. My instinct tells me, no way should I make contact with her again. After all she cancelled. If she is interested its up to her. So far I have not heard from her since Monday when she cancelled, so I am going to leave it at that. Shame though she was pretty hot!. Anyone else been in a similar boat?. How did you deal with it?. Gosh, you remind me of this man I met last October I think. We went on 2 dates and scheduled a 3rd one for a Tuesday night. The morning of that date he cancelled on me with a work excuse without rescheduling so I let it slide thinking he will get back to me. A few days went by and nothing from him so I sent him a text. We ended up having this huge disagreement because in my book if YOU cancel me then YOU reschedule me. In his book it's a no non-sense, I should have offered another time to him even if he cancelled and to him there is no turns. So, maybe what is in your book, and her book, don't really match. If you like her then contact her and ask her how her week is going. Giving this another shot or another couple of days is not gonna kill you and you won't be left there wondering was she interested or not. Edited February 19, 2015 by Gaeta 2
applej4 Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 Her excus (work and a lot going on....whatever that's supposed to mean) are LAME. She can't even make time for a cup of coffee? She's not that interested, or she's a flake, or she made a date with someone else. NEXT!
Gaeta Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 Her excus (work and a lot going on....whatever that's supposed to mean) are LAME. She can't even make time for a cup of coffee? She's not that interested, or she's a flake, or she made a date with someone else. NEXT! She works in a hospital, have you ever dated someone working in health? I have. They go in for a shift and they don't know when they'll be coming out, sometimes they work 16 hours straight and only have enough energy to go home and crash in bed. It is absolutely possible she has no clue what is her next time off.
applej4 Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 She works in a hospital, have you ever dated someone working in health? I have. They go in for a shift and they don't know when they'll be coming out, sometimes they work 16 hours straight and only have enough energy to go home and crash in bed. It is absolutely possible she has no clue what is her next time off. Who I've dated and where they worked is not the issue. I didn't post the question.
katiegrl Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 Gosh, you remind me of this man I met last October I think. We went on 2 dates and scheduled a 3rd one for a Tuesday night. The morning of that date he cancelled on me with a work excuse without rescheduling so I let it slide thinking he will get back to me. A few days went by and nothing from him so I sent him a text. We ended up having this huge disagreement because in my book if YOU cancel me then YOU reschedule me. In his book it's a no non-sense, I should have offered another time to him even if he cancelled and to him there is no turns. So, maybe what is in your book, and her book, don't really match. If you like her then contact her and ask her how her week is going. Giving this another shot or another couple of days is not gonna kill you and you won't be left there wondering was she interested or not. Wha? So HE canceled but expected YOU to reschedule??? I'm sorry but that's one of the biggest pieces of BS I have heard in a long time. He just wasn't interested... period. But instead of admitting that...he attempted to "flip the script" and make it YOUR fault for not rescheduling...even though HE was the one who canceled! Please tell me you didn't actually buy his BS...did you? 1
applej4 Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 People who are soooooooooooo busy with work work and more work somehow make the time to play around on dating sites and text text text. FLAKES. Move on. 2
Gaeta Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 Please tell me you didn't actually buy his BS...did you? No I dropped him during that phone call lol But, the point is it's not because she did not reschedule that she is not interested in seeing him again! Maybe she did not read the Book dating 101 and does not know she just did a fatal mistake by not offering a reschedule. Like I said it's possible she does not know yet when is her next free time. 1
martaldn Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 I am with Gaeta in this one. i think you should contact her again.. maybe in a little while and offer another day. if she takes it then fine.. if she cancel you again then bye. in the meantime chat/date other girls!! 1
d0nnivain Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 She works in a hospital, have you ever dated someone working in health? I have. They go in for a shift and they don't know when they'll be coming out, sometimes they work 16 hours straight and only have enough energy to go home and crash in bed. It is absolutely possible she has no clue what is her next time off. But she cancelled 2 days in advance, not 2 hours. If she gave more specific reasons -- one of the other workers has the flu or we're being evaluated for re-accreditation -- something more than just work is really busy right now, it would appear less flaky & I would believe that there was a legitimate reason for the reschedule rather than just 2nd thoughts.
katiegrl Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 No I dropped him during that phone call lol But, the point is it's not because she did not reschedule that she is not interested in seeing him again! Maybe she did not read the Book dating 101 and does not know she just did a fatal mistake by not offering a reschedule. Like I said it's possible she does not know yet when is her next free time. Okay thanks for clarifying!!! Makes sense. And I agree...not every knows that when they cancel.. they really should reschedule... and like I said hopefully she WILL respond back to him...after her trip or even before! Fingers crossed for him...I mean since he finds her so "hot" and all.. LOL (sorry OP I just couldn't resist that one)..
d0nnivain Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 I just re-read the part about her hospital closing & her being re-located. She most likely knew the hospital was closing before she made the date with the OP. Maybe she didn't know where she'd be going but she was undoubtedly away that this was a transition time for her. She probably had no business making a date because she was in such an unstable place. When she realized she couldn't commit to the date the cancelled. OK that is somewhat good manners but the lack of a new date still smacks of lack of interest IMO 1
Drifterofwood Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 Gosh, you remind me of this man I met last October I think. We went on 2 dates and scheduled a 3rd one for a Tuesday night. The morning of that date he cancelled on me with a work excuse without rescheduling so I let it slide thinking he will get back to me. A few days went by and nothing from him so I sent him a text. We ended up having this huge disagreement because in my book if YOU cancel me then YOU reschedule me. In his book it's a no non-sense, I should have offered another time to him even if he cancelled and to him there is no turns. So, maybe what is in your book, and her book, don't really match. If you like her then contact her and ask her how her week is going. Giving this another shot or another couple of days is not gonna kill you and you won't be left there wondering was she interested or not. This! Some people don't think of these 'little details' such as rescheduling as troublesome since they don't see it as a big deal. Can't hurt to ask her when she's free or when both your schedules are open. Some women also like men that make all the moves. If it persists, then that's a good sign to move on. 1
applej4 Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 I just re-read the part about her hospital closing & her being re-located. She most likely knew the hospital was closing before she made the date with the OP. Maybe she didn't know where she'd be going but she was undoubtedly away that this was a transition time for her. She probably had no business making a date because she was in such an unstable place. When she realized she couldn't commit to the date the cancelled. OK that is somewhat good manners but the lack of a new date still smacks of lack of interest IMO Exactly. The hospital closing wasn't a surprise that came out of the air. She most likely plays around on dating sites then when it comes to actually in-person dating she can use her job as an excuse to delay/cancel. I see FLAKE written all over her.
katiegrl Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 (edited) Exactly. The hospital closing wasn't a surprise that came out of the air. She most likely plays around on dating sites then when it comes to actually in-person dating she can use her job as an excuse to delay/cancel. I see FLAKE written all over her. Unfortunately for the OP...I agree (while at the same time hoping I'm wrong). Interested people ACT interested! And even when one is "busy"... when interested, they make time. Proven fact! I mean really, how long does it take to send a text back? 30 seconds, tops! It's a pretty basic concept and if everyone incorporated this into their thinking...and didn't muddle it up with justifications and rationalizations as to why someone isn't showing interest, a lot of wasted time and energy would be saved! Edited February 19, 2015 by katiegrl
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 (edited) Been doing the online dating thing for a few months now. Started chatting to a girl on there. She seemed really great, anyway couple of days later she messaged me giving me her phone number and said lets text. So we did that for a few days. I asked her out and she said yes. So we arranged it for the following week. Two days before date, she messages me saying due to work and a lot going on she is going to have to cancel. But made no mention of re-scheduling. I just said fine. Let me know if you want to re-arrange and she said will do. I just left the ball in her court. I know her excuse is genuine, the hospital she works at is being closed down and she is being re-located this week and its been in the press. My instinct tells me, no way should I make contact with her again. After all she cancelled. If she is interested its up to her. So far I have not heard from her since Monday when she cancelled, so I am going to leave it at that. Shame though she was pretty hot!. Anyone else been in a similar boat?. How did you deal with it?. You did the right thing. She cancelled so you should leave the ball in her court. If she is interested in you she would offer to reschedule, but if she doesn't why waste your time? I'm not exactly meaning she needs to set the whole thing up - but simply express interest that YES she wants to reschedule. Edited February 19, 2015 by barcode88 1
devilish innocent Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 You told her to let you know if she wants to reset the date. I think it's fine to wait and see if she wants to do that. I don't believe that the guy should have to do all of the pursuing. I do think she's legitimately busy. If you'd caught her at another time, you probably would have had a much better chance with her. Since she's relocating, it might be a while until she's able to focus on dating.
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