Pel lara Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 Hello there! I am talking with a girl for two weeks or so. We went out for a date for dinner and I think we both had a good time. She said that she is very careful with who she dates and that going out with me means something. The problem is that I initiate the conversation (text or call her) every time. I know that she is a very busy and active woman but if she was interested on me she would contact me first at least once right? Does it mean she is not interested and should I move on? Or continue contacting her and suggest a second date to create a connection? Thanks for the help!
Gaeta Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 How long ago you went to that 1st date? Yes you should set the 2nd date as soon as possible. Actually you should do it NOW for the weekend. Don't make your invitation last minute always give a girl a couple of days to organize herself. Yes she should be initiating contact as well, at least 1 time out of 3. It also depends what is your rate of communication, maybe you don't give her space enough to give her time to contact you. My ex-boyfriend would always contact me at 10 a.m., every day without fail so I got in the habit of just wanting for his text to come in, it could have looked like I never initiated but it never meant I was not interested.
PegNosePete Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 It's pretty normal for the guy to have to initiate at first. It's only been 2 weeks, that is not long. But as your relationship progresses I would expect her to start making the effort as well. 1
Author Pel lara Posted February 19, 2015 Author Posted February 19, 2015 We went out on Monday (3 days ago). I sent her a message on Tuesday. I did not send her yesterday to see if she was going to send me but nothing. She is leaving for a trip tomorrow and she is going to come back next week. I was thinking to ask her out tonight but I don't know if I should wait till she comes back from the trip. She may have a lot of things to prepare. What do u think?
d0nnivain Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 Since she told you she doesn't date much & going out with you "meant something" she may have old fashioned values & ideas so that she expects you will initiate. If she is going on a trip, you can ask her tonight if she'd like to go out when she gets home. A last minute invite the night before she's leaving is inconvenient. Ask her to contact you while she's away. Meanwhile you don't reach out while she's gone. Call her once when she gets home to confirm the plans.
Author Pel lara Posted February 19, 2015 Author Posted February 19, 2015 Naaahh. She is just playing with me. I texted her 3 hrs ago and she doesn't respond. But she is online on facebook. I am just wasting my time with her. The funny thing is how easily I believed what she said.
katiegrl Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 We went out on Monday (3 days ago). I sent her a message on Tuesday. I did not send her yesterday to see if she was going to send me but nothing. She is leaving for a trip tomorrow and she is going to come back next week. I was thinking to ask her out tonight but I don't know if I should wait till she comes back from the trip. She may have a lot of things to prepare. What do u think? Since she has not responded to your message Monday...I would NOT suggest sending another one..or asking her out again.. Wait until she responds back to YOUR message... if she doesn't then she is just not interested. She said when she dates a guy (she used you as as an example)..it means something. If she doesn't respond back...then sorry but continuing to date you wouldn't mean anything...so in her mind, why pursue it? But hey...maybe she will respond back! You never know!
Gary S Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 (edited) You are doing pretty well.... you'll find your girl! Men are usually the pursuers in the beginning (not always - and it's great when that happens!). It's fine for you to make the dates in the beginning. Later, you do want to see equal participation at some point... but the relationship needs to evolve. Don't call to talk to her at first. Rather, call to schedule a date... a day or two ahead of time... for example, call on a Monday for a Tuesday or Wednesday date, call Tuesday for a Wednesday or Thursday date, etc. Relationships are forged face-to-face. Relationships, at their core, are a continuing series of worthwhile dates. I mean, how can you kiss her if she's not with you?! If you aren't kissing, you are just wishing! Also, try to call for a date rather than text - text is one of the worst forms of communication known to man. I'd keep silent for a week, unless she texts/calls you. Call her for a date when she comes back from vacation. Have a complete date plan in mind... notably, a time and day (you can always figure out what you two will do later... plus, girls like surprises!). If she can't make it for sure, or does not counteroffer, talk to other girls. You only need one. Edited February 19, 2015 by Gary S 1
heart12 Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 The "I'm careful who I date line" isn't very original... I think a lot of us would agree we have heard it a lot of times. I would personally give her some space for a couple days and see what she does. If you don't hear from her, you can always initiate then.
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 Naaahh. She is just playing with me. I texted her 3 hrs ago and she doesn't respond. But she is online on facebook. I am just wasting my time with her. The funny thing is how easily I believed what she said. 3 Hours? Jesus. Give her some time and don't be so needy. If you don't hear back for 24 hours, then it's time to start worrying. A girl I've been chasing online messaged me last night at 8:30, even though I read her message I ignored it until today just because I didn't feel like concocting a reply at that moment. If you make yourself too available, you come off as desperate and needy. P.S. the careful who I date line is BS. Nothing but a game.
Author Pel lara Posted February 20, 2015 Author Posted February 20, 2015 She hasn't replied yet. So I will give her some space and see if she call or text me after her trip. If not then I won't pursue her further as I will become irritating!
GTR King Posted February 20, 2015 Posted February 20, 2015 Girls can't reply all the time she might be busy etc So just wait till she contacts you.. after 24hurs then start to worry...
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