SethDamien Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 (edited) Eric awoke trying to pull the stubborn blanket in between his toes. The cold air got him ruffled. “sh**” he yelped, quickly rising from the couch. His head was still throbbing and heart beating fast as he gawked at the tipped goblet dripping wine over the carpet. He started to sweat despite the cold air. It was then he realized the sepia toned nightmare that roused him. He glowered blankly at the dim room trying to recall the dream. “I met someone else” hearing the weary tone of a familiar voice. His body cringed and shoulders stiff as he let out a huge sigh to ease his tension. His jaw trembled as he broke down and began to cry. Struggling to get on his feet, Eric crumpled the sheets and threw them aside. He placed his knees over his chest and hovered himself to a bygone time. Edited February 19, 2015 by SethDamien
mightycpa Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 Eric awoke trying to pull the stubborn blanket in between his toes. The cold air got him ruffled. “sh**” he yelped, quickly rising from the couch. His head was still throbbing and heart beating fast as he gawked at the tipped goblet dripping wine over the carpet. He started to sweat despite the cold air. It was then he realized the sepia toned nightmare that roused him. He glowered blankly at the dim room trying to recall the dream. “I met someone else” hearing the weary tone of a familiar voice. His body cringed and shoulders stiff as he let out a huge sigh to ease his tension. His jaw trembled as he broke down and began to cry. Struggling to get on his feet, Eric crumpled the sheets and threw them aside. He placed his knees over his chest and hovered himself to a bygone time. stiffened... his shoulders stiffened as he let out a huge sigh to ease his tension. sheets or blankets? one cannot "glower blankly"... maybe "he glowered indiscriminately..." knees over his chest? He just stood up... quite a "feet" if you ask me. and what does "hovered himself" even mean? Finally, this caught my eye - "sepia-toned nightmare"...written first by author J.F. Sampaio in 2013...c'mon man, it is the age of the internet.. you can't just write stuff like that without attribution. It's too weird to be a coincidence. B- without the plagiarism... but keep trying
Author SethDamien Posted February 19, 2015 Author Posted February 19, 2015 Honestly, i never read J.F. Sampaio or "sepia toned nightmare" It just came out of my mind since my dream really was in a sepia tone. I just felt like writing my experience the other night in a novel-like way. PS. English is not my native tongue. Thanks for the grade though. no plagiarism intended.
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