marie55567 Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 I just recently started dating my boyfriend and we had sex on the 5th date twice at his place. I really don't have any regrets because we were both ready and we got caught in the heat of the moment. I know for sure he isn't using me.
edelweiss Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 Bahaha naww. I think that little concern has come and gone out the window in modern times. My current SO and I ended up getting down on the first date. Goin' pretty strong right now c: 1
mightycpa Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 New boyfriend, right? Why are you asking? The answer is NO. 1
losangelena Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 I just recently started dating my boyfriend and we had sex on the 5th date twice at his place. I really don't have any regrets because we were both ready and we got caught in the heat of the moment. I know for sure he isn't using me. Sometimes it does, and sometimes it doesn't. There's no "one rule" to go by. My BF and I had sex on date three, and it's been six months—so it's not always a relationship killer. Has his behavior changed? 3
mightycpa Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 New boyfriend, right? Why are you asking? The answer is NO. I was going to add that it is other things that ruin it, and you blame it on the sex. 2
Author marie55567 Posted February 19, 2015 Author Posted February 19, 2015 Sometimes it does, and sometimes it doesn't. There's no "one rule" to go by. My BF and I had sex on date three, and it's been six months—so it's not always a relationship killer. Has his behavior changed? Nope his behaviour hasn't changed.
losangelena Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 You're probably fine then. Why are you asking? 1
mightycpa Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 I'll answer that. FEAR. Don't be afraid. Be you, at all costs. You'll get the feedback you need and deserve. 1
autumnnight Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 If the other person is truly into you then I am not sure it matters much how long you wait. If they are in it for the romp, then they'll probably bail after or not stick around to wait too long. 2
Author marie55567 Posted February 19, 2015 Author Posted February 19, 2015 You're probably fine then. Why are you asking? I hear people say wait until at least 3 months into the relationship to have sex and my friend even said this. I know, I shouldn't care what anyone says.
mightycpa Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 If the other person is truly into you then I am not sure it matters much how long you wait. If they are in it for the romp, then they'll probably bail after or not stick around to wait too long.^^^ THIS^^^ You cannot trust. You can only risk, wisely or unwisely. 1
loverboy69 Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 (edited) If you just met someone that night and go to bed with them... then yeah your value is diminished because you were too easy. It doesn't mean a relationship won't work out but you didn't put up much of a challenge so you lessen your chances. This is what whores do. But if you guys have seen each other around for a while either as friends, colleagues or acquaintances then start dating later I don't see anything wrong with going to bed with someone on the first date. I tend to bond through sex if I'm really feeling the other person. If there was never any chance for chemistry or tension to develop then the sex is meaningless and lacks emotion so it's no different than masturbating. Sorry for being so candid. ;-) Edited February 19, 2015 by loverboy69
blackcat777 Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 Sex can dampen your ability to judge character clearly. The less you know about someone and the quicker you do the deed, the more information will be interpreted through the lens of an oxytocin high... rose colored glasses. I think there's some wisdom in establishing an emotional connection first IF you are looking for a commitable partner. If you can't hold off on sex to vet a date for bad behavior, strong personal boundaries are a next best second. There is a difference between being genuinely into someone and being perceived as easy. Self-respect is the opposite of desperation, so if you live a happy, full life on your own in which you don't need a man to fill a void, on the chance you did bang an awesome dude quickly, you are much less likely to look low value. Your happiness with yourself, regardless of relationship status, is the ultimate insurance policy should something with a partner ever go south. Sex is always risky. There's always a chance someone might judge you for having sex with them (and... what does that say about them?). Hopefully you got to know the other person somewhat well enough to hedge your bets. I had sex with my boyfriend the first night he kissed me (it did take him a while to finally work up the nerve to kiss me). We're still together, more than a year later, and still ridiculously into each other. We often discuss how it's physically impossible not to have sex when we're together. Sometimes that's just how chemistry is. As long as you're prepared to accept the consequences of your decisions, it is what it is. It's only a problem if you use a relationship to fill a void within yourself, lose your identity in the relationship, or overlook hurtful behavior because the sex is awesome. Otherwise, be safe and have fun. 2
stillafool Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 I just recently started dating my boyfriend and we had sex on the 5th date twice at his place. I really don't have any regrets because we were both ready and we got caught in the heat of the moment. I know for sure he isn't using me. Okay, then why do you ask?
Photofinish Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 It might , it might not. He might be using you, he might not. We dont know the guy.
Erised Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 Nah. Not unless you let the fun of the sex take over everything else and legitimately getting to know each other.
katiegrl Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 I don't think sex too soon ruins anything. It's the behavior *afterwards* that ruins it. Some people (mostly women...sorry to say) become anxious, insecure and clingy after sex...and it's THAT behavior that ruins it!! Unfortunately though, when the guy begins to distant...because of the woman's clinginess ... SHE thinks it's because she had sex too soon and thinks he's a jerk! Ladies, have sex whenever you want...but for the love of all things beautiful... afterwards RELAX!! And let whatever happens...just happen. Gradually and naturally. Don't push for more, become needy, start asking a million questions like "what does this mean," ...just be a cool relaxed happy easy-going fun and sexy chick... Be a "creature unlike any other"...and you will have the guy eating outta the palm of your hand!! (Sorry guys but it's true) ...
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