Drifterofwood Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 I met this girl on tinder about a week ago and things went pretty quick. I usually wait a few days before I ask for their number, but she voluntarily gave it to me and told me to text her. She even suggest we meet up and hang out! I felt like I should have made all these moves, but she did them so quickly. Fast forward to our date day and conveniently I find myself stuck at the doctors office longer than I expected. I told her the bad news and we rescheduled. I noticed her texts had a different tone after that (probably some disappointment). I felt really bad so on our rescheduled day I drove all around the neighboring cities looking for a bakery that served fresh blueberry scones (its one of her favorite pastries). Surprisingly they were all out or only served other variations so I had to opt for a blueberry scone from starbucks (these are shipped frozen and kept in a freezer and thawed overnight). Right before our designated meet time I found myself sweating profusely in my palms. I'm nervous! I'm usually pretty confident, but I'm feeling completely out of my element here. She arrives and we do a lot of things that she mentioned she liked doing and ended it with dinner and a walk through one of the bike trails in my city. When I parked next to her car she stayed and we talked for a good 15 minutes. She told me she could tell I was really nervous and I apologized, but she told me she had a really good time and we should hang out again. I ask her to hang out again a few days later and I visited her town so she could show me around. We have lunch and walk around a park that she frequented as a kid. For some odd reason I'm still nervous and I'm having a hard time conversing. I feel like a deer in headlights. Later we go to one of the local coffee shops and we sit down on the couch and talk for a good hour. This is where I think the date went well and we clearly are enjoying each other's company. She made a few comments of "next time I see you I'm going to ask you if you remember this" (she taught me some sign language). She then tells me she has to go because her niece came to visit. We say our farewells and I drive home feeling like I messed up. A few hours later she texts me asking if I got home safely and we talk a little before I mention that there is a dollar scoop night the next day if she was free to go. She said she was busy and asked if that was held on any other days. She didn't respond after I responded. My text didn't necessarily elicit a response, but she usually says something. So what should I do? Do I just wait for her to say something or do I ask her again if she wants to hang out and how long do I wait? We are both 25 and turning 26 this year so I feel like all these rules about waiting a few days is pointless. TLDR: Met girl on tinder. Things moved quick and had a great first date. Second date not so great. I am really attracted to her and would like to see if things could go further, but I'm not sure if my chances are ruined.
edelweiss Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 Definitely I'd gauge your texting interactions a little bit and ask her out again soon. I've inadvertently looked over requests to hang out and things like that in texting conversations so many times. I just get ahead of myself. But it sounds to me like she's plenty interested and that you're going at a natural pace based on you wanting to be with her and vice versa. Just go with it. I'd be surprised if she didn't want to go on a third date, frankly!
losangelena Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 What about your second date makes you think there's anything bad about it? Sounds like it went fine to me—don't get disheartened. Ask her out again!
Buddhist Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 TLDR: Met girl on tinder. Things moved quick and had a great first date. Second date not so great. I am really attracted to her and would like to see if things could go further, but I'm not sure if my chances are ruined. Why assume your chances are ruined? Nothing in that post says that. Stop thinking about, just do it.
Author Drifterofwood Posted February 18, 2015 Author Posted February 18, 2015 I felt the second date started off bad since I was being nervous/awkward. I was also nervous on the first date, but I was more composed. On this one I was finding it hard to find what to say and sometimes I would just make comments about the surrounding area, which probably came off strange. I'm usually not like this, but something about her just makes me nervous. We have great conversations during texting, but I become the opposite in person. I think I'm really scared that I'm going to screw up and because of that I'm trying to evaluate everything and then nothing comes out . We did have a great conversation at the coffee shop though. I'm guessing at that point I was less nervous, but the majority of the day was comprised of lunch and the park! That is why I can't help but feel that I screwed up. When should I ask her?
CrystalShine2011 Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 You sound great!! I would go for it.
losangelena Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 I felt the second date started off bad since I was being nervous/awkward. I was also nervous on the first date, but I was more composed. On this one I was finding it hard to find what to say and sometimes I would just make comments about the surrounding area, which probably came off strange. I'm usually not like this, but something about her just makes me nervous. We have great conversations during texting, but I become the opposite in person. I think I'm really scared that I'm going to screw up and because of that I'm trying to evaluate everything and then nothing comes out . We did have a great conversation at the coffee shop though. I'm guessing at that point I was less nervous, but the majority of the day was comprised of lunch and the park! That is why I can't help but feel that I screwed up. When should I ask her? Everyone's nervous on the first couple of dates. You're thinking about this way too much. The weekend's coming up—ask her out soon. At this point, you have nothing to lose. You'll know pretty quickly if your nervousness scared her away (no third date), or that it was a non-issue for her (if she says yes). Go—do it.
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