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Posted

Hi .. I was wondering if any body really knows from exp ... what if anything a past girlfriend has going through there mind after a break up when they did the breaking... weather it was mutual, a reason of them just wanting more out of life or just seeking a change in scenery ? any thoughts are welcome..

Posted

Why did she break up with you? None of us on here can read minds I'm afraid.

Posted

When a girl emotionally checks out that's it mate, she has checked out.

 

I think women can be absolute in their resolve when they think the relationship no longer suits them.

 

It's hard to believe that someone can love you so much then be so cold but women have this ability.

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Posted
Hi .. I was wondering if any body really knows from exp ... what if anything a past girlfriend has going through there mind after a break up when they did the breaking... weather it was mutual, a reason of them just wanting more out of life or just seeking a change in scenery ? any thoughts are welcome..

 

They are probably thinking about the next guy, or how much fun they'll have getting the next guy.

Posted

Whenever I've broken up with someone, I have usually felt a sense of relief that I was no longer in that relationship. I am usually completely over the situation too by the time I decide to finally pull the plug. This I'm sure comes across like I'm "over it" in a small amount of time, but the process had already begun long ago. I can't speak for every girl, but this is how its gone for me.

 

Of course, some have new guys waiting, and this is a whole 'nother story. But I can say from my own experience that yes, I have missed my exs terribly, and am very sad that the relationship has ended. The thing is though, is I have to be sure that I've tried my absolute hardest to make it work, so by the time I'm done, I'm done. And its hard as hell watching someone you care about hurting, and knowing that you caused it, so I tend to remove myself from my exs lives ASAP. It seems cold, but its the only way to go...

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Posted

Well she said that we don't seem to share the same interests anymore ! like this constant infatuation for needing more and more on her part ( she has referenced her self as a badge girl and always likes new things iecars jewelry clothes etc... but never asked those things of me ... We always went on 200.00 dollar dinners went away on weekend get aways and the like for 2 years never a problem and she never asked. I initiated those things but then one day poof I wan't to meet new friends and experiance new things need my space all it I gave her ... just thinking she is trying to re live her 20's again she is 46 and out of a 18 year marriage which i started dateing her in between that..no problems at all perfect in every way ... just wondering if I was a rebound and if so do they have any feeling or thoughts after the fact... no contact by me 8 days ...

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Posted

I guess I was just trying to get a womans prospective ... it may help with my healing process and also help me to maintain NC really hard as you know ..

maby some good advice will help me with some closure i guess ...

Posted

If I initiated, I usually thought thank heavens that is over. I didn't break up with people lightly. If it wasn't working for me there were good reasons to end it.

Posted

I usually felt a mixture of being glad it was over (because I tended to hang in there too long) and guilt that I hurt them when I broke it off.

 

I was almost never thinking about the next person because I was too vulnerable.

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Posted
I guess I was just trying to get a womans prospective ... it may help with my healing process and also help me to maintain NC really hard as you know ..

maby some good advice will help me with some closure i guess ...

 

TC, I understand how you're feeling but there is no point trying to find out what's in her mind because in the only no one knows maybe not even herself.

 

You need to focus on what is 100% certain, she doesnt want to be with you anymore and thats all you need to know. No matter how much you wonder or ponder whats going on inside her, that doesnt really help you. It will just confuse you, hurt you and make you ask even more pointless questions because in reality you havent totally accept the breakup fully.

 

Understand that if you really want to feel better, its not by finding out whats in her mind, its rather you need to focus on your own well being. Do things that you always wanted and enjoyed doing.

 

In the end i know its painful and difficult but this is the only way for you to get better. And i believe that if you can move on and if you were a good bf/partner she will come looking for you again, whether its to be friends or reconcile, this is your only and best option.

  • Like 2
Posted

Let me preface this and say that i'm a guy so this might not be the most accurate assessment on how women approach the breakups. So I recently broke up with my gf of 5 years last month, prior to that we split up 2.5 years before over some "stuff". When we got back together after the first breakup I asked her how she handled the breakup, she said she was always thinking about me and had no idea how to move on past me. She also said she had to ignore a lot of thoughts because she was trying to shut off her feelings.

 

Just know that yes she is probably thinking about you, but she could also not want to think about you and shut her feelings off.

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Posted
Why did she break up with you? None of us on here can read minds I'm afraid.

 

I said that whatever the situation! cheating ,money , looks second thoughts what ever!!just simply wanted a womans take on . If an average lady breaks up with her man does she feel or think anything and if so what? after the break up ?

Posted

i've met some chicks that look like all they are thinking about are the next colour they are going to paint their nails

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Posted
I said that whatever the situation! cheating ,money , looks second thoughts what ever!!just simply wanted a womans take on . If an average lady breaks up with her man does she feel or think anything and if so what? after the break up ?

 

Instead of getting annoyed with US, consider that your question is like asking "what kind of food do people eat?" It is TOO BROAD. Women are not robots. Your thinking is too simplistic.

  • Like 2
Posted
If I initiated, I usually thought thank heavens that is over. I didn't break up with people lightly. If it wasn't working for me there were good reasons to end it.

 

 

THe same, minus the "thank heavens".

 

Ive ended every serious one I've been in - BUT it was because I had no choice. The man's behavior left me no choice. I end it but not due to lack of feelings but as a way to preserve myself. I have been so sad after and it takes me a long time to get over them.

 

For short term ones, meh, I dont know, I dont think it matters. It is my nature to be alone or to be serious (or moving that way).

 

note: I only commit to people I'm really truly into and am sincere. I know not everyone is like this - they go LTR to LTR without much thought. Those ppl, I'm not sure they have feelings once it ends.

Posted
I said that whatever the situation! cheating ,money , looks second thoughts what ever!!just simply wanted a womans take on . If an average lady breaks up with her man does she feel or think anything and if so what? after the break up ?

 

Haha this is a ridiculous question.

Posted
I said that whatever the situation! cheating ,money , looks second thoughts what ever!!just simply wanted a womans take on . If an average lady breaks up with her man does she feel or think anything and if so what? after the break up ?

 

But the reason she broke up with you can help give us an idea into what she might be thinking, every situation requires different thought.

Posted (edited)
Hi .. I was wondering if any body really knows from exp ... what if anything a past girlfriend has going through there mind after a break up when they did the breaking... weather it was mutual, a reason of them just wanting more out of life or just seeking a change in scenery ? any thoughts are welcome..

 

She isn't think about you "after a break up". Possibly some guilt but relief more than anything like some woman have mentioned. She may have some else lined up, hypergamy usually doesn't care. If she's emotionally stable she will take time to reflect on the relationship & grow as a person.

 

As a guy I don't really think it's that much of a difference when I've ended relationships. I would think about for weeks maybe multiple weeks. I had this gut feeling it wasn't going to work out. Weither it be lack of chemistry or failed expectations whatever it may be, end the relationship & move on with MY life.

 

FOCUS on yourself & not what she is thinking, because @ the end of the day it doesn't matter anymore.

Edited by Price2Play
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