Gloria25 Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 Ok, am a superficial pig for expecting a man to stay fit? Is it that hard? You can't find time to go to the gym and/or do some sort of physical activity for at least 30 minutes like 3 times a week? Physical fitness has so many benefits when it comes to health and mood. It even makes for some fun in the bedroom. So, why is it so hard for some (well now a days many) guys to not want to stay fit? Now, IMO, Americans are very sedentary and women also do not take care of their bodies and we have obese kids. But, my thread was started from some recent comments I've seen about men being upset about women expecting them to be fit/active. I mean shoot, in my hood and America, I see obese dogs. I grew up in a country where dogs were skinny and/or starving...geesh 4
ComingInHot Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 I actually can't wait to work out with the person I end up with. I think it'll be hot to sweat with him at the gym, or on a hike, in the woods, where no one is watching...* 6
autumnnight Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 I think a healthy lifestyle is very important. I think it depends upon what a person means by fit. When I think of fit, I think of active, healthy body, good eating habits, etc. but not being overly obsessed with it. For example, a guy who is opbssessed with his "total six pack dude: who spends 2 or 3 hours a day "gettin' ripped, babe" would not float my boat. Kind of like Beefcake Rob Lowe lol 3
contact1 Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 What exactly would you consider fit though? Because there are a lot of people that go to the gym, but have god awful diets, thus they stay overweight. Or their "workout" consists of being on their cell most of the time For the longest time, I would workout hard, but had a horrible diet. Stayed over 300 pounds for a long time, but had a resting heartrate of 50 bpm, so strictly speaking endurance and cardio wise, I was very fit, but still had a lot of fat on me. I still get a kick thinking back in the day when some of the really skinny 18 year olds doing a cardio sessions with me had the most puzzled looks on their face because the older, much fatter guy was leaving them in the dust 1
autumnnight Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 It really is a two-pronged thing. Diet matters, and activity level matters. I like a man who is healthy, not overly skinny, whose belly doesn't make it look like he couldn't see his feet, and I like strong arms, but big beefy "oil em up" muscles look cheesy to me. 1
Invictus01 Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 Nothing sexier than hitting the gym or going for a run with your SO. A sweaty girly after working out = seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeexy! 4
mario_C Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 People have difficult jobs that require them to sit at a desk/chair 10 hours a day, every day (yes, on weekends too). And we still have the steak and potatoes attitude to diet, stemming from our grandparents' day when factory and other heavy labor jobs were the norm. I had to make time to do a yoga practice every morning and walk upstairs (5 stories) every noon, just to keep my cardio intact. Having a gym membership would be nice, but it's a huge undertaking given my daily schedule. And given family issues and maintaining employment, having rock hard abs is a very low priority. Sorry if that's offensive to you, OP, but some of us fatass Yankees are trying any way we can. 1
salparadise Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 But, my thread was started from some recent comments I've seen about men being upset about women expecting them to be fit/active. People just have different preferences and expectations in nearly every way. Fitness isn't a right/wrong deal, not a universal expectation or moral imperative. If you're a fitness nut then it's understandable that you'd prefer someone who is into it as well. But there are many people who simply don't like to exercise and make no apologies about it, and that doesn't make them lesser beings. The way you phrased the initial post it seems like you might be a bit judgmental of those who don't make it a priority. You can have your preference without being judgmental. 1
GemmaUK Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 I'm a soon to be 46 yo woman, petite and a UK size 8 (US size 6). I have not yet met a single man of my own age who doesn't look pregnant. The men who are in shape are all married or in an LTR. Single men don't seem to look after themselves. Why? I have seen men who lose weight when they start dating and also have dated men who lose weight when I am dating them. It seems looking their best is not important unless they are with someone. This is just my experience so far over the past 8 years or so. 1
WomenWubber Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 Ok, am a superficial pig for expecting a man to stay fit? Is it that hard? You can't find time to go to the gym and/or do some sort of physical activity for at least 30 minutes like 3 times a week? Physical fitness has so many benefits when it comes to health and mood. It even makes for some fun in the bedroom. So, why is it so hard for some (well now a days many) guys to not want to stay fit? Now, IMO, Americans are very sedentary and women also do not take care of their bodies and we have obese kids. But, my thread was started from some recent comments I've seen about men being upset about women expecting them to be fit/active. I mean shoot, in my hood and America, I see obese dogs. I grew up in a country where dogs were skinny and/or starving...geesh I guess it's because of good ol' gender roles. Physical health has become a priority for many people these days, because (I think) our jobs are no longer enough to keep us fit. Decades ago, most people had to do a good deal of physical activity if they wanted to keep a job. Women had lots of activity as well, because they had a house to take care of by themselves. People in general were healthy anyways, so the physical part was not much of deal back then. Now most women have to work to support their families, but they are also expected to remain beautiful. This is starting to become true for men as well, because women now can take care of themselves finantially and also they can choose who to date, have sex with, marry, etc. The bar keeps getting higher for all of us. I think the main difficulty for us men (especially the older generations) is that we have to adapt to these new expectations. Men used to get almost all of their validation from their jobs and not much because they were physically healthy or good looking. Now the times have changed and we men are becoming more conscious of our physical health and appearance, but for many it's kind of a circumstantial thing rather than ingrained into the lifestyle. 1
Author Gloria25 Posted February 19, 2015 Author Posted February 19, 2015 I guess it's because of good ol' gender roles. Physical health has become a priority for many people these days, because (I think) our jobs are no longer enough to keep us fit. Decades ago, most people had to do a good deal of physical activity if they wanted to keep a job. Women had lots of activity as well, because they had a house to take care of by themselves. People in general were healthy anyways, so the physical part was not much of deal back then. Now most women have to work to support their families, but they are also expected to remain beautiful. This is starting to become true for men as well, because women now can take care of themselves finantially and also they can choose who to date, have sex with, marry, etc. The bar keeps getting higher for all of us. I think the main difficulty for us men (especially the older generations) is that we have to adapt to these new expectations. Men used to get almost all of their validation from their jobs and not much because they were physically healthy or good looking. Now the times have changed and we men are becoming more conscious of our physical health and appearance, but for many it's kind of a circumstantial thing rather than ingrained into the lifestyle. Well, I have a different spin.... Ages ago, when we didn't have technology and modernization - where we lived off the land and stuff. We "had" to be physical and I believe the body was built to be physical. We had to work the land to get food and/or trade it for stuff. We didn't have blenders and coffee makers. We had to walk places. Glamour magazine, years ago had an article about a NY chick who literally went Amish. OMG, the difference was something. She had gotten tanner and had a lovely complexion. Now, she also got "thicker", and it wasn't like ripped muscles. She was just not pale and skinny like she was before. She was "healthy" looking if you ask me. 1
NJ123 Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 I'm a soon to be 46 yo woman, petite and a UK size 8 (US size 6). I have not yet met a single man of my own age who doesn't look pregnant. The men who are in shape are all married or in an LTR. Single men don't seem to look after themselves. Why? I have seen men who lose weight when they start dating and also have dated men who lose weight when I am dating them. It seems looking their best is not important unless they are with someone. This is just my experience so far over the past 8 years or so. That's not true. At least not for me. I'm single & make sure to go to the gym 3-4x a week. As long as I'm physically able to work out I'm going to do it. I refuse to be obese or really out of shape.
Author Gloria25 Posted February 19, 2015 Author Posted February 19, 2015 People have difficult jobs that require them to sit at a desk/chair 10 hours a day, every day (yes, on weekends too). And we still have the steak and potatoes attitude to diet, stemming from our grandparents' day when factory and other heavy labor jobs were the norm. I had to make time to do a yoga practice every morning and walk upstairs (5 stories) every noon, just to keep my cardio intact. Having a gym membership would be nice, but it's a huge undertaking given my daily schedule. And given family issues and maintaining employment, having rock hard abs is a very low priority. Sorry if that's offensive to you, OP, but some of us fatass Yankees are trying any way we can. I respect the fact that you work hard to squeeze in physical activity. My intent is not to "offend" anyone here, but I will admit it is a turn off to see people not care for their bodies. I've had/have crazy schedules - but I still believe that where there's a will, there's a way. We waste our time with stuff that we could probably use to sneak in a 30 min workout (ie posting on a MB). I've had to work, go to school, tend to family and still find time to work out. Sometimes that means taking a run at 5AM, 1PM...walking pets at 10PM. And, there's other things you can do cuz usually diet is the source of our weight. If you have an office/sedentary job, then no hamburger and cheese for lunch. You can't put in calories you're not burning. And take the stairs. Stop e-mailing and get up and go to that person's cublice. Again, another Glamour article showed that even if you work out, if you stay sedentary at a job for 8hrs or more - you aren't doing yourself any favors. Some people use their lunch breaks/15 min breaks to take a short walk instead of having heavy lunches.... Again, where there's a will, there's a way... Oh, and yes, I hate exercising. There's days I cheat. There's days I pig out. Like today, I wanted to die on the "dreadmill", but it's done. Just like going to our jobs that we could probably care less about, sometimes you gotta push yourself to workout too. 2
Elias33 Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 You have the right to look for a certain quality in a person, to have your preferences. Fitness indicates a certain mentality that can be attractive. But one should learn to look deeper always. The heart wants more than the eye. 2
Maleficent Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 Ok I'm just gonna say it. If that thread had been started by a man, he would have had his ass handed out to him for 10 pages by now. I really hate double standards but I digress. It's really a preference thing. But now, is the preference to have someone who has a healthy lifestyle or is the preference someone with a certain body type? A lot of people have a healthy lifestyle but aren't necessarily 'cut'. The last guy I 'dated' was originally interested by the fact I did 3-4 hours of weight trainin, 2-4 hours on skates and at least 1 HIIT training per week. The he realised I was a size 10. Not a size 6. I have a co worker who is a runner and a guy she met online told her ( to her face) that she was fatter than he had expected. Cause you know all the running... 2
WomenWubber Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 (edited) Well, I have a different spin.... Ages ago, when we didn't have technology and modernization - where we lived off the land and stuff. We "had" to be physical and I believe the body was built to be physical. We had to work the land to get food and/or trade it for stuff. We didn't have blenders and coffee makers. We had to walk places. Glamour magazine, years ago had an article about a NY chick who literally went Amish. OMG, the difference was something. She had gotten tanner and had a lovely complexion. Now, she also got "thicker", and it wasn't like ripped muscles. She was just not pale and skinny like she was before. She was "healthy" looking if you ask me. I actually force myself to walk places. I've made running an everyday routine. It's amazing what that does to your body and it's not half what people had to do back in the day to survive. My uncle was forced to work since he was a kid and ended up getting a job as a labourer at a metal foundry. Of course he was very fit, but he was laid off after 14 years. My aunt convinved him to get into college and eventually he got his Computer Programming degree. For ten years now he has worked as a programmer at a manufacturing plant. While that has helped his family tremendously, it hasn't exactly done the same to his physique and health. Now he has to use a peacemaker. Edited February 19, 2015 by WomenWubber 1
organizedchaos Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 Ok, am a superficial pig for expecting a man to stay fit? Is it that hard? You can't find time to go to the gym and/or do some sort of physical activity for at least 30 minutes like 3 times a week? Physical fitness has so many benefits when it comes to health and mood. It even makes for some fun in the bedroom. So, why is it so hard for some (well now a days many) guys to not want to stay fit? Now, IMO, Americans are very sedentary and women also do not take care of their bodies and we have obese kids. But, my thread was started from some recent comments I've seen about men being upset about women expecting them to be fit/active. I mean shoot, in my hood and America, I see obese dogs. I grew up in a country where dogs were skinny and/or starving...geesh Not unreasonable. My gf and I both workout at least 3x/week. Sometimes our date night is going to the gym together We've done Crossfit and Spin classes together too. Nice to get hot and sweaty, and then go home 1
mario_C Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 Well, yesterday I spent at Mad River Glen. Skiing can be a serious thigh and lower body workout - you have to press down with each leg to control your speed. The -2F cold is good for your skin and fatty areas, too But I want to do more cardio to be able to enjoy the experience more. YouTube is your friend here, if you can motivate yourself to search every day - I also use Skimble to make a HIIT routine out of the hardest moves. 1
Elias33 Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 Ok I'm just gonna say it. If that thread had been started by a man, he would have had his ass handed out to him for 10 pages by now. I really hate double standards but I digress. It's really a preference thing. But now, is the preference to have someone who has a healthy lifestyle or is the preference someone with a certain body type? A lot of people have a healthy lifestyle but aren't necessarily 'cut'. The last guy I 'dated' was originally interested by the fact I did 3-4 hours of weight trainin, 2-4 hours on skates and at least 1 HIIT training per week. The he realised I was a size 10. Not a size 6. I have a co worker who is a runner and a guy she met online told her ( to her face) that she was fatter than he had expected. Cause you know all the running... But that is a nice way to weed out the shallow... Let them say these things, it will tell you a lot about them. And it says absolutely nothing about you. I run in the park, and I see "bigger" people running, I think, they are working harder than me. And they do not care what I think. I find it attractive. Again, mentality. We want to get back at people like that, but risk polluting our own ways of finding beauty in another person, don't get swept in. 2
Author Gloria25 Posted February 19, 2015 Author Posted February 19, 2015 People just have different preferences and expectations in nearly every way. Fitness isn't a right/wrong deal, not a universal expectation or moral imperative. If you're a fitness nut then it's understandable that you'd prefer someone who is into it as well. But there are many people who simply don't like to exercise and make no apologies about it, and that doesn't make them lesser beings. The way you phrased the initial post it seems like you might be a bit judgmental of those who don't make it a priority. You can have your preference without being judgmental. I don't consider myself a fitness nut... I just like someone who takes care of themselves. And no, no man boobs or beer gut. I also just want someone who can be physical with me. I had a supervisor who was in her 50's but hiked, rode a bike. Nothing grand, but she moved around. She also ate well and drank a lot of teas. Well, her hubby was a bit "heavier" than her, had lower back pain, and could not ride bikes and/or hike with her. I don't want that. If you can't even go with me on a walk with my pets for a half hour, forget you. Some people have great metabolism. I met people who ate crap, never got heavy, barely or never worked out but passed and/or maxed the military physical fitness testing. I have to work harder on my body to stay fit. I don't take those weird supplements. If I miss out for too long, sometimes I have to work hard to get back into it. So, if I meet someone who doesn't work out and has a normal metabolism, I might not see them as long term potential cuz when their metabolism starts slowing down, I already know they won't do a thing about it and are just gonna get fat. If the person I'm seeing has no need to work out because they got good genes - then more power to them. But in the bedroom they better be physical and outside the bedroom, yes, I'd like to walk with them maybe toss a ball, play in the pool/water. That takes "some" level of physical fitness. Also, even "if" the person I would be seeing doesn't have a need to work out. If after work and whatever all they do is veg (now I veg myself - but I still get up and do a walk, or run, etc sometime in the day) then I gotta wonder if they're happy - what's going on with them. Cuz, again, physical activity is good for your body and mind. Someone who is a couch potato (not a homebody...there's a difference) doesn't appeal to me. 2
Ethan78 Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 Ok I'm just gonna say it. If that thread had been started by a man, he would have had his ass handed out to him for 10 pages by now. I really hate double standards but I digress. It's really a preference thing. But now, is the preference to have someone who has a healthy lifestyle or is the preference someone with a certain body type? This works both ways as well. I am on the tall slim side for a guy. I remember coming back from a run one evening and overhearing two women talking about my body and what athletic type I was. They seemed to think I was on the slimmer side and were laughing as they had their conversation. The crux of it in their mind was that I didn't measure up to what an average man should look like. The superficial nature of things is that people are turned on by breast implants, or by men who take steroids and increase their muscle mass. We are here talking about it, but it seems hundreds of thousands of people just accept it and do what they have to do to conform. 2
autumnnight Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 There's nothing annoying or obnoxious about having a preference. It only becomes obnoxious or annoying when someone insists others feel the same way or imply that people who don't are somehow slobs or inferior. 4
hotpotato Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 Ok, am a superficial pig for expecting a man to stay fit? Is it that hard? You can't find time to go to the gym and/or do some sort of physical activity for at least 30 minutes like 3 times a week? Physical fitness has so many benefits when it comes to health and mood. It even makes for some fun in the bedroom. So, why is it so hard for some (well now a days many) guys to not want to stay fit? Now, IMO, Americans are very sedentary and women also do not take care of their bodies and we have obese kids. But, my thread was started from some recent comments I've seen about men being upset about women expecting them to be fit/active. I mean shoot, in my hood and America, I see obese dogs. I grew up in a country where dogs were skinny and/or starving...geesh Thats because women need to be happy with what they can get and not judge available men. Only men can do the judging. This is the feeling I get from comments and threads on ls.
E-Squared Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 Okay, I'm going to say this. I am by no means an adonis. I am chubby and I have a gut, but I am a relatively active person. I walk and run often, I lift weights often, not to mention I can bench about 245 pounds, and I am almost at the point of pushing it up higher. While I admit that I can eat better, that doesn't mean that I am sedentary. The fact that I can walk for more than an hour without getting tired really says something. Now I am not sure what you mean by "fit." Do you mean guys who can grace the cover of "Muscle and Fitness" magazine or do you mean guys who are active and live healthy lifestyles? Now I am trying to experiment eating a lot better than before. Two years ago, I remember I dropped nearly 30 pounds in three months because I decided to forgo soda and chips, in which a certain of the latter became a vice up to that point. Right now, I decided to give up and cheese and french fries for lent, and I will say that I don't eat cheese or fries often, but it might help me a bit. Trust me, I like having fries with my burgers or chicken sandwiches, but I can really try going without them. Now I have seen guys at the gym that I go to who are bodybuilder types, and then I see the Average Joe types, whether they are thin, overweight or just regular weight. I can't say what their lifestyles are like, but it would seem that they are doing something with their bodies. Coming from what I've read about how that guy was judgmental about that woman who was "fatter" than he imagined, she was better off not going further with him. That was messed up.
Under The Radar Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 At the very least, there is absolutely no reason for anyone not to be doing weighted hip extensions ...... preferably with a partner 3
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