towardthefuture Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 (edited) So I'm on OKC, my ability to start conversations and get girls' numbers is pretty good. I don't usually LIKE the girls whose numbers I get very much. They're actually usually fairly pretty, but I mean I just don't feel so compatible with them in terms of interests of lifestyle or whatever. But when I find someone I think I'd be really compatible with, I can't even get them to message me back. It's REALLY starting to get annoying. Does anyone have any advice? The girls I want to message me are only maybe marginally prettier than the girls who actually give me their number, it's really more of a compatibility thing. I know I messed up my chances with two of these girls by being two interested off the bat. Usually when I end up getting someone's number it starts usually very casual and flippant, usually just a one liner conversation starter, and with these other girls the vibe is more like "whoa, you like [x] too? No one else on here does. Do you like [y]?" So I know I need to work on that. Other than that, does anyone have any tips for this particular problem? edit: And is there any way to recover after a 'too interested' first message? Edited February 18, 2015 by towardthefuture
BlueIris Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 (edited) You answered your own question. Don’t come on so strongly. But also respect that prettier women get more messages, so it’s harder to get through. Maybe try them again in a few months. I’d stop gathering numbers from women you are not compatible with. That’s not very nice to them because you're not truly sincere. No one wants to be a place keeper while someone is looking for "better." Edited February 18, 2015 by BlueIris
edelweiss Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 Blue Iris is on the mark with this one. I think there are two approaches to online/app dating. There are people looking for somebody to be with first and foremost, and then people looking for conquests more than anything else. Rather than gathering numbers, and applying the same amount of effort across the board, perhaps only ardently pursue the girls that you're genuinely interested in. Or further pursue the girls who maybe don't quite sway your sails, but have kept you interested. They might surprise you c; I've had a few dates that have been so positive, and led to wonderful relationships, that are fellows I've met off dating apps that weren't my "first choices." I'm just keen on the natural approach, and the followup is what's most important. All the openers end up being the same. But if I feel comfortable responding to you, and want to talk about myself with you, then that's good. You don't have to be asking her questions left and right. Just have a normal conversation. Talk about every day average things. What were you up to today? What would you have liked to be doing today if you were doing ___? Go from there!
MichaelA Posted February 27, 2015 Posted February 27, 2015 I've tried tinder, but its mostly spam. nobody meets they just use it as a game. i found that hoobee in iTunes is better than tinder. no Facebook info or email required either. you can actually post a snapshot (moment) to entire database of users too instead of only just your matches. the best part is they actually have a thumbs up or like icon and a thumbs down icon too!
MichaelA Posted February 27, 2015 Posted February 27, 2015 Guys need to come on strong. If not the other 10,000 guys that are bombarding you will make you forget about us. I met my gf on hoobee (dating app) in iTunes and she said she couldn't even go to bars anymore, guys wouldn't leave her alone so she tried a dating app. Thank goodness she did!
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