littlesister1234 Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 I just got broken up over a text message. My self esteem is really low at the moment that after everything, the most I got was a text message while I was in class. To anyone who has had this happen to them, how did you handle it?
SycamoreCircle Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 Never had it happen to me, but if I were you I'd consider it a blessing in disguise---it demonstrates that the person is a coward. The integrity they apply to you is the integrity they apply to themselves. Let it symbolically stand for their worth. Now, be free. 6
mammasita Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 Never happened to me, but I broke up with someone via email. Agreed it is EXTREMELY cowardly and I would never do it again knowing what I know now. Take it as a blessing in disguise, he set you free to find someone who appreciates your worth.
jus d'orange Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 Not sure how old you are, but I would assume anybody who does that who has ANY other option is very immature, and you should be happy that you're out of the relationship. I know it's hard to see it that way, but you'll be glad of it in the end. During a fight my ex girlfriend, who's definitely old enough not to do this, did send me a text that was trying to break us up, but I don't think she really meant it at the time. Still, it should've been a clue to me that she wasn't capable of the kind of commitment that she was otherwise enjoying with me. You can take the same view here; if they broke up with you over text, they obviously don't value the relationship enough to merit your continued efforts in it. Take time to heal and move on, and then you can find somebody who does value that commitment properly. 1
Jessie1231 Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 It happened to me once and the way I handled it is the exact opposite of what you should do - I called and texted asking for an explanation and for him to reconsider. It's humiliating to act that way. I wish I had just ignored it completely, but hindsight is 20/20.
Author littlesister1234 Posted February 18, 2015 Author Posted February 18, 2015 Thanks. I'm almost 30, as is he, I thought I was too old for this too. I guess there is a first for everyone. As humiliated as I am, I guess the only thing to do now is just focus on my career.
Popsicle Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 Get used to this kind of cowardice and disconnect in this day and age. If they (men) try to build a connection, emotional, sexual, or otherwise through text, then why would they not also think it's perfectly fine to tear one down in the same way. I have learned to just ignore texts, both good and bad, and steer it towards face to face interaction. If he can't do that then we don't talk or date. It's that simple. Anyway, I'm sorry for your loss. 3
seminoles84 Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 Thanks. I'm almost 30, as is he, I thought I was too old for this too. I guess there is a first for everyone. As humiliated as I am, I guess the only thing to do now is just focus on my career. I'm 30 and was dating a 25 year old and she dumped me over text (though we did meet up a few times after to talk) and she strung me along for another 6 months. Lost a lot of my dignity and self respect chasing her after being treated pretty crappy. My advice, as hard as it is, is to let this go and take it as you dodge a bullet because that's really what you did. There's no future with someone who would do this to you. Keep your head up.. it does get better! I was a mess for awhile but now I've got a lot of clarity. I'm only on this forum now to help others as they helped me even though I never posted my story, reading others advice was huge. Watch the video in my sig.. I know it's a dude dressed as a grandma but the wisdom in what he saying is brilliant haha. 2
jus d'orange Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 Focus on your career yes, but also focus on yourself as a whole. The solution is also the best outcome here; by focussing your energies on yourself, you'll not only heal better and faster, but also end up in a better place in the long run. It's easy to say "I should just focus on my career," but remember that burying oneself in work, which can be effective, can also be destructive and create other imbalances in your life, which may be hard to get over later.
seminoles84 Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 Meant to mention that NC is 100% the way to go.. I haven't spoken to my ex since 1/1/15 and I feel 10x better! First few weeks will be rough. 1
alphamale Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 I just got broken up over a text message. My self esteem is really low at the moment that after everything, the most I got was a text message while I was in class. To anyone who has had this happen to them, how did you handle it? I broke up with a girl by text a few yrs back. She was not happy at all and sent me quite a few choice messages in return.
Zapbasket Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 Just want to chime in in agreement with other posters: anyone with the lack of integrity and immaturity to break a relationship over text is not anyone worth being with. Know, also, that there is sadly no age limit to cowardice, bad character, lack of integrity and cruelty. We don't like to think of it this way, but...there are a-holes in nursing homes. Just because someone has reached a certain age doesn't mean they have wisdom and character equal to it. Spirit is ageless, and so is wisdom and character. Don't ever be fooled by age; look at actions alone. I'm so sorry this happened to you. It feels like sh*t, I know, but you did dodge a bullet. 2
Author littlesister1234 Posted February 18, 2015 Author Posted February 18, 2015 Thank you for the video. I did enjoy watching it. Even though it did make me cry lol.
Invictus01 Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 Was dumped with a text (that ended with a smilie face too, how cool is that!) out of a 6 month relationship. Sent a text back without a response, made a call that went to the voice mail. Went NC even though it almost killed me. 2
Author littlesister1234 Posted February 18, 2015 Author Posted February 18, 2015 I was told to have a nice day after mine. This was in the morning too. Needless to say I did not have a nice day and I could not focus on school
ZiggyZoo Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 I recently got dumped via a Facebook message, so I can relate. And yep, it DOES make you feel like crap, like you weren't even worth a face-to-face breakup. First of all, you totally deserved a decent break-up, and the fact that your ex did it like this reflects badly on him, not on you. He was the one who was too cowardly to face you and see how his words would hurt you. Don't for one minute think that you deserved this at all. I know, it's easy for me to say, but you'll believe it too, although it may take a few weeks. It really is surprising how much of a dent this can put in your self-esteem. But don't let it as best you can. The good thing about this BS method of breaking up is that it'll really help you when you start missing him. Just remember how he ended it, and that you are better off without someone whose communication and empathy skills are so lacking. It helped me, especially when I was still heavily in denial and having a hard time seeing any faults. There's one big one right there to point at. Its been two months for me, and I went NC as soon as he did that. I'd say the first month was rough, but it gets easier. 1
dyna85 Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 I was dumped via text in December and sent a msg seeking answers. No response. It was the worst pain, having to experience the cold shoulder like that. First few wks were pure misery. I'm finally coming out of it. Never thought I'd recover, but I am getting better... you will too! Strict NC is the way to go. Looking at FB will keep you at the same spot. I didn't mind the dumping via text (as rude as his wording was) as much as the lack of response to my response. Umm... no closure much?
Diezel Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 I've only done it once... through text/email, but she was BPD, so doing we had already broken up in person at least 3 times before that. By then, I had no choice. I knew it sucked, and I'd HATE to get dumped like that but in a normal scenario, it shows a lack of integrity and compassion.
mammasita Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 OP, I just read your other threads......You weren't dumped via text - you broke up in person before you left his place. He must have followed up with a text finalizing the breakup. You were having ongoing issues anyway. RED FLAGS EVERYWHERE.
Author littlesister1234 Posted February 18, 2015 Author Posted February 18, 2015 This is true. It was just finalized. It's heartbreaking either way.
smellysocksuni Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 I was broken up with over WhatsApp just after Christmas, by someone I lived with! These people are immature cowards... better off without.
Ieris Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 I was dumped via text in December and sent a msg seeking answers. No response. It was the worst pain, having to experience the cold shoulder like that. First few wks were pure misery. I'm finally coming out of it. Never thought I'd recover, but I am getting better... you will too! That sucks! Not only does he do it by text but ignores you after >_< Saying that.. I got dumped by text once and I didn't bother replying. He texted me the next day saying "You're not even going to reply to me?" I ignore. Then a week later he texted me again saying, "I don't understand why you can't reply to me..." I ignore again. Such a waste of time... 1
mammasita Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 This is true. It was just finalized. It's heartbreaking either way. Definitely. Breakups suck regardless. Just know he did you a favor.
Popsicle Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 Was dumped with a text (that ended with a smilie face too, how cool is that!) out of a 6 month relationship. Sent a text back without a response, made a call that went to the voice mail. Went NC even though it almost killed me. I'm really sorry. That sounds horrible.
Hija77 Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 My ex dumped me in a text...after 7 years. Ha! I was crushed, and honestly had no idea what it meant. It was vague, and he didn't say he wanted to break up, he said he wanted a break. I was too stupid to realize what that meant, but needless to say, I never heard from him again. Breaking up with someone via text hurts the person being dumped, but man it sure is a bad look for the one doing the dumping. Unfortunately, I'd say his actions robbed me of the last bit of respect I had left for him. After all of those years, that is truly, truly sad. The happy memories are gone. All I remember is the callous way he left. BUT, at least I can say I came out of the break up looking like a total champ. You want your power back? Go NC. Don't dog him to people you know. Don't give him any ammunition to justify what he did. Let him look back someday and see what a jerk he was. When that day comes, you'll be a shiny penny, and he'll be green and covered in gum. Let him live with the regret. At his age, he ought to be ashamed of himself. Don't forget, breaking up with you in a text says absolutely NOTHING about you, but speaks volumes about the kind of guy your ex is. He couldn't even face you. So lame. Good luck!! 2
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