Rko28 Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 Hi everyone. So leading on from my age gap thread on here I decided that after all your advice and listening to my feelings that I do really like this girl and want to give it a go. Some points I missed out on my previous thread: She is very sexual and has had a few sexual experiences, her friends and herself put it down to her growing up being "ugly" and not having any attention from boys. The she blossomed in to a beautifully stunning girl who got attention and pretty much gave sex away willy nilly. The past 6-12 months she has stopped this. We do have a history, in may of last year we both went away for a night to a city, the plan was to have a nice time which we did but we didnt have sex, she was a tad distant and the next week she started dating another boy. I was upset and didnt speak to her until August time. I then got with my ex gf (threads galore on here) but at the same time me and the age gap girl started texting again, she said how much she missed me and wished me luck with the new girl. We pretty much text every day as friends then she started saying how she regrets not getting with me, wants to meet up etc, all things I obviously didnt say back. She then said that she loves me and wanted to be with me, at the time things were great with my ex and I said listen, if you say things like that then I cannot carry on talking to you. She stopped but would drop it in now and again. She kept saying how shes changed and wanted me to see the new her that didnt sleep around and wanted a relationship. I then became single and obviously started meeting up with her (not right away) For the past 2 weeks weve seen each other pretty much everyday and had sex almost every occasion too. After the 1st time of having sex she asked what did it mean and what do I want (about 2/3 weeks ago) I said for now im happy as it is, hanging out, going out now and again and just see what happens, she said she was happy about that and we both agreed we wouldnt be seeing anyone else etc. Valentines day I got her some roses which she loved and we went out at night, she got a bit drunk but I didnt as I was driving, coming home she said "im your girlfriend now" and "I love you" as she said both of these under the influence i laughed them off but brought it up the next morning. She smiled, went bright red and said "oh my god im sorry, how cringey". All was well until yesterday... During the day she text saying how her friend had just had a bit of a dig at her, she asked her if me and her were official now, which she said no and her friend said "you cant keep doing this, why are you so scared of a label" she said she had done nothing wrong just told her we arent official. I replied saying I would like to be your boyfriend though, which her reply was, "stop it, dont say that" That came against the tide of what I thought was happening here so I was a bit surprised. She just said that she thought I was happy as it was and that it will take her a while to get used to what we are at the minute but that it doesnt change anything about how she feels. She also said she was worried what my friends would say to her as last may after the whole going away incident a few of them confronted her saying some home truths. We carried on talking and she said she was just freaking out and not to worry, carry on as it is. which is kinda ok i guess. Yesterday night we went out for a bit then back to hers, ended up having sex again and she wanted me to stay the night, begging for me not to go as she wanted cuddles all night. Unfortunately I had to go though as I had no work clothes there and had a very early start this morning. It was then when she said she thinks some space will do us good...... She is going away today for 5 nights with family and friends on holiday, she said time apart will be good so we can both see what we want, she thinks i need time being single.... Out of nowhere she said this, then she said she was afraid she was going to end up hurting me. She also said things were prgoessign really quickly, which I can kinda see having spent so much time together but we have both suggested meeting up. I told her I didnt need space or single time, that I liked her. Again she said nothing has changed how she feels for me and she doesnt want things to end but space will be good. WHAT THE HELL?!!!
Buddhist Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 (edited) Yesterday night we went out for a bit then back to hers, ended up having sex again and she wanted me to stay the night, begging for me not to go as she wanted cuddles all night. Unfortunately I had to go though as I had no work clothes there and had a very early start this morning. It was then when she said she thinks some space will do us good...... WHAT THE HELL?!!! She was wanting you to demonstrate some bonding to her so she could put all the other stuff aside and focus on being in a relationship with you. You demonstrated putting yourself as the major priority so she is now having second thoughts. It's pretty easy for her to believe that she can get a guy to commit to a relationship with her, and you didn't give her any reason to think that you are particularly interested in her beyond sex. Edited February 18, 2015 by Buddhist
Diezel Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 Pull back, WAY BACK. Hell, start seeing other women. This girl seems a bit out of whack and demonstrating clear control AND relationship issues. Women like this scare me. 2
Author Rko28 Posted February 18, 2015 Author Posted February 18, 2015 She was wanting you to demonstrate some bonding to her so she could put all the other stuff aside and focus on being in a relationship with you. You demonstrated putting yourself as the major priority so she is now having second thoughts. It's pretty easy for her to believe that she can get a guy to commit to a relationship with her, and you didn't give her any reason to think that you are particularly interested in her beyond sex. Thanks for that but it isnt just sex. I take her out shes even said she knows id do anything for her and im not with her just for sex.
Author Rko28 Posted February 18, 2015 Author Posted February 18, 2015 Pull back, WAY BACK. Hell, start seeing other women. This girl seems a bit out of whack and demonstrating clear control AND relationship issues. Women like this scare me. This was my gut feeling too. All was going well than this out of nowhere. Like every girl I meet. It just comes out of nowhere when everything seems that its working
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 She wants commitment from you. You gave signs that you didn't want to commit so she pulled back. You need to make a decision. If it's too soon for you or you don't feel like she is the right one for you, then you need to end things with her.
Author Rko28 Posted February 18, 2015 Author Posted February 18, 2015 She wants commitment from you. You gave signs that you didn't want to commit so she pulled back. You need to make a decision. If it's too soon for you or you don't feel like she is the right one for you, then you need to end things with her. I don't think you've read my post properly. I said a couple of weeks back things were fine as they are and she agreed, it was only yesterday I asked about it being serious and she came out with all these worries of hers
preraph Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 Honestly, you men can be so dense. This woman is being really up front with you, asking you what you want (apparently what you want is not to have to make any decisions) and then she's honest she misses you, she's still supportive and wants you to be happy when you are dating someone else, which is a good sport, and then you do Valentine's and you freak out because she just wants to be called your girlfriend. You sleep with someone and like a girl, why is it so hard to say "You're my girlfriend"? It's just a title to go with your actions. If you don't want a girlfriend why are you sleeping with girls and getting personal with them?
Author Rko28 Posted February 18, 2015 Author Posted February 18, 2015 Honestly, you men can be so dense. This woman is being really up front with you, asking you what you want (apparently what you want is not to have to make any decisions) and then she's honest she misses you, she's still supportive and wants you to be happy when you are dating someone else, which is a good sport, and then you do Valentine's and you freak out because she just wants to be called your girlfriend. You sleep with someone and like a girl, why is it so hard to say "You're my girlfriend"? It's just a title to go with your actions. If you don't want a girlfriend why are you sleeping with girls and getting personal with them? Again, you haven't read my post properly
Erised Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 Honestly, you men can be so dense. This woman is being really up front with you, asking you what you want (apparently what you want is not to have to make any decisions) and then she's honest she misses you, she's still supportive and wants you to be happy when you are dating someone else, which is a good sport, and then you do Valentine's and you freak out because she just wants to be called your girlfriend. You sleep with someone and like a girl, why is it so hard to say "You're my girlfriend"? It's just a title to go with your actions. If you don't want a girlfriend why are you sleeping with girls and getting personal with them? I think he asked for her to be his girlfriend She's the one freaking out over commitment. 1
CrystalShine2011 Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 From what you wrote, you can tell there is an age difference there. As a girl who dated a man 14 years older, I went through something a bit similar. Is she worried that you won't stay interested in her? Perhaps just take some space. Give her a chance to figure out her feelings (it sounds like she was into you a bit more, and was hurt that you didn't break up with your ex for her.)
Author Rko28 Posted February 19, 2015 Author Posted February 19, 2015 From what you wrote, you can tell there is an age difference there. As a girl who dated a man 14 years older, I went through something a bit similar. Is she worried that you won't stay interested in her? Perhaps just take some space. Give her a chance to figure out her feelings (it sounds like she was into you a bit more, and was hurt that you didn't break up with your ex for her.) Shes never said anything like that but she did say the other day after we had sex "you'll be getting bored soon" which couldnt be further from the truth. I know males are meant to get distant after having sex with someone but im the complete opposite, I get attached, I cant do no strings sex. She did get angry that I wouldt finish with my ex for her, but after our history and a few ups and downs I was never going to do that. She knows before I got with my ex that I would be with her in a heartbeat and after thinking it over these past 2 weeks I'd be with her 100% officla now too. Her parents had the same age gap and divorced a few years ago which she said really upset her. Im thinking this could be playing a part.
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