Tarot777 Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 Either way Couple questions If you were the dumper, did it come back and hit you that maybe you made a mistake? After how long? Dumpee, when did you get over your ex? And did they contact you again? Or as dumpee did you find it easy to move on only to find that it came back and hit you and you were horribly sad?
bigtrouble Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 Either way Couple questions If you were the dumper, did it come back and hit you that maybe you made a mistake? After how long? Dumpee, when did you get over your ex? And did they contact you again? Or as dumpee did you find it easy to move on only to find that it came back and hit you and you were horribly sad? Dumpee - 5yr relationship (she cheated) Took me 6-7 weeks to be indifferent... I would say its safe to say 8weeks... Its easier to move on once the sadness, pain, is gone... But mostly when I stopped rooting for her, I started to heal... 2
mightycpa Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 As dumper, never. Never looked back to regret leaving. As a many-time dumpee, it was only easy for me once, and all but one contacted me again. The one that didn't was the first one, the one that hurt the most, the only time my heart was truly broken. My definition of that is that I never fell out of love with her. There's still a place in my heart for who she was. I will always love that person. I have no idea who she is now, and I accept that I probably don't love her. I love the memory of her. For the remainder of them, it took about six months for me, and then I knew with certainty I didn't love that person any more. That was closure. My heart was no longer broken. 2
erklat Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 I was dumper twice, both 3yrs long relationships. The first one I contacted after 27 months for the first time. The second one after 18 months. This last time when my heart was really broken I have not heard from her since we broke up and over a year of NC.
KatZee Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 Been a dumpee twice: never once regretted it and never contacted either again. Been a dumpee twice: the first took me years to get over. He was my first love. The second time he was a cheater, a narcissist, and an emotional abuser. We spoke 5 weeks after he ended it and that was it. Never spoke to him again, had no respect for him or desire to be with him or have him in my life any longer. Over him after 3-4 months but the anger lasted much longer.
flightplan Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 As a dumper, I never really regretted my decisions. As a dumpee, there were two that really took some time to recover. The first was over 15 years ago. I was madly in love with her and it took close to two years to fully recover. I occasionally have thoughts about her, but not emotional, just good memories. She was the one that got away. The most recent was just over a year ago. It took me about nine or ten months to get over her. Once I had time and distance, I could see it for what it was. I thank her for dumping me now. It would've been a nightmare of a relationship. I have regrets for getting involved with her, but it was a great learning experience. But she was the one I'm glad that got away.
CrystalShine2011 Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 As someone who broke it off with the ex- the guilt and sadness hit me probably a week after it all happened. I usually don't process things very well.
Mi7522 Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 Either way Couple questions If you were the dumper, did it come back and hit you that maybe you made a mistake? After how long? Dumpee, when did you get over your ex? And did they contact you again? Or as dumpee did you find it easy to move on only to find that it came back and hit you and you were horribly sad? I have been the dumper more than I have been the dumpee but I can honestly say when I was the dumper I never thought I was making a mistake and have never looked back. Sure I have thought of them from time to time but never to get back together with them. Now when I have been the dumpee I have usually taken it pretty hard and found it incredibly difficult to move on but there is nothing you can do. I always tell myself when you did the breaking up remember how you felt about them, that's what I tell myself they are feeling after they have broken up with me. 1
Holmes85 Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 As A Dumper: I didn't regret my decision. I exhausted all the options before breaking up and communicated the problems as an adult, but since the ways didn't change and the commitment of my partner was also in question, I pulled the plug for good. Naturally they wanted a reconciliation months down the road, but nothing had changed on their end, so the reconciliation wasn't possible, but now since enough time has passed, there is zero chance for anything. As A Dumpee: I knew I gave my best in the relationship and for whatever reason the partner broke up with me, mostly it was GIGS. I tried to find out what was the cause of the problem, if there was anything that could have been done to save the relationship, but once I realized after the talks that the problem wasn't from my end, I took active steps to heal myself. First and foremost was cutting my ties off permanently, naturally thoughts come and go in my mind (still do actually) and I feel sad about it from time to time, but once you realize you did the very best, you are at peace in your heart and mind and you naturally progress through recovery.
Recommended Posts