daniella993 Posted February 21, 2015 Posted February 21, 2015 thanks for the tips, I do usually say hi when I message in okcupid, I just feel maybe dating not good for me as parents don't like it Don't worry) in any case, dating is good for everyone, without any exceptions) 1
smackie9 Posted February 21, 2015 Posted February 21, 2015 of course If a meet a nice SriLankan american it would be good but mother wants to marry in family You don't date for marriage, you date for the experience!! Don't tell your mom just do it! 3
Author kart180 Posted February 21, 2015 Author Posted February 21, 2015 You don't date for marriage, you date for the experience!! Don't tell your mom just do it! wish I could do that but I'm not that kind of kid
smackie9 Posted February 21, 2015 Posted February 21, 2015 Never say never.....college life will be different way of life for you.....it will pull you out of your shell and when that happens you will enjoy such freedoms. 1
Author kart180 Posted February 21, 2015 Author Posted February 21, 2015 yes never say never but really wish I could but so scared to even ask for a girls number as I know mother will not approve. it's a catch 22
Nalina_K Posted February 21, 2015 Posted February 21, 2015 I do lack condifence, but I see nice girls all around. I went out shopping and was so scared when I saw two girls. I wanted to say hi but was so scared, any tips for a guy who lacks confidence and living with parents Did you have girlfriend ever? Well, if no, and if you lack confidence, maybe you should try online dating. I know one good website (https://kovla.com/) you can just try. First of all, it'll help you just to chat with girls for a while, to understand them, you know. Secondly, chatting online with someone, you can find out whether this girl likes you or not. If she starts ignore you it will be better to know it there. And if you are brushed off in real life you can definitely lose your heart after it. And you know what? Not all girls like when guys are pushy or vulgar, etc. So if you are modest, it's OK! When you find some good girl, just smile on date, be yourself!
Author kart180 Posted February 22, 2015 Author Posted February 22, 2015 Did you have girlfriend ever? Well, if no, and if you lack confidence, maybe you should try online dating. I know one good website (https://kovla.com/) you can just try. First of all, it'll help you just to chat with girls for a while, to understand them, you know. Secondly, chatting online with someone, you can find out whether this girl likes you or not. If she starts ignore you it will be better to know it there. And if you are brushed off in real life you can definitely lose your heart after it. And you know what? Not all girls like when guys are pushy or vulgar, etc. So if you are modest, it's OK! When you find some good girl, just smile on date, be yourself! thanks, I tried online dating, I'm on okcupid but I'm just taking a break
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted February 22, 2015 Posted February 22, 2015 OP the best thing you can do is move out from your parents. Get a good job. Get some interests. Go to the gym and workout. Soon you'll have the women flocking to you I've done most of these in the last year and my success in getting dates has increased exponentially. 3
Author kart180 Posted February 22, 2015 Author Posted February 22, 2015 ok, if a lack of friends makes it hard to talk to people, that's just at a club, bar or party or event. Basically, go back to normal every day activities and errands. Most people are alone during those. The goal is not to immediately get a date or a girlfriend. It's to get some more confidence. Say hi, strike up conversation. This will sound crazy but start with really old people if that makes it easier! In the meantime, pick a hobby or activity that you want to do and JOIN. Would be good if it's a coed type one but that's not necessary. If you need friends too, then even a group that has all males in it could lead you to your GF in the future. This is just a simple example but let's say you join a tri club. You training a lot, all guys. Then you make friends and there's BBQ on weekend with a mixed group--someone's sister, friend will be there. This is how people get girlfriends Keep posting your progress. Good luck gets advice, might not use it now but maybe in future. 1
Author kart180 Posted February 22, 2015 Author Posted February 22, 2015 OP the best thing you can do is move out from your parents. Get a good job. Get some interests. Go to the gym and workout. Soon you'll have the women flocking to you I've done most of these in the last year and my success in getting dates has increased exponentially. jobs are hard to come by for me despite having computing degree.
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted February 22, 2015 Posted February 22, 2015 jobs are hard to come by for me despite having computing degree. I finished my AS Degree (Computing) in July, went on vacation to London for a couple weeks, came back in August and within 2 weeks had a job lined up. Contractor work but it turned into a perm hire. Computing jobs are in high demand right now, look harder!
Author kart180 Posted February 22, 2015 Author Posted February 22, 2015 I finished my AS Degree (Computing) in July, went on vacation to London for a couple weeks, came back in August and within 2 weeks had a job lined up. Contractor work but it turned into a perm hire. Computing jobs are in high demand right now, look harder! Yes but I lived all my life in London had to go onto benefits bexuae every time I apply I get rejected. Just asking are you white by any chance since
Zeed Posted February 22, 2015 Posted February 22, 2015 Well that did not work in my case living on my own 10 years now.....
Author kart180 Posted February 24, 2015 Author Posted February 24, 2015 just reading about how Eddie and his wife met. Hannah Bagshawe, Eddie Redmayne?s Wife: 5 Fast Facts to Know | Heavy.com. is amazing, they met in collge and she's a financial lady.
GravityMan Posted February 24, 2015 Posted February 24, 2015 You need to make some friends first then and work on your social skills. <snip> Came in here to post this. Ideally he would expand his social circle to include friends of both genders. Kart, you need to get to a point where you're at ease socializing with all sorts of people...women, men, kids, etc. You don't have to be an expert or perfect at it (don't even try to be), just get comfortable being your natural social self around others, and be able to take awkward moments in stride. You learn social skills much like you learn most other skills in life...practice, hands-on experience, time, patience and a bit of guidance here and there from folks who care about you. I know your topic is about dating, but improving and getting more confident socially will help you tremendously in MANY aspects of life...work/career, friends, family, dealing with interpersonal conflicts, networking, negotiating...and of course attracting women and dating. I know a guy who is exceptionally talented in his line of work (software engineering), but he quickly hit a glass ceiling personally (difficulty attracting women) and professionally because he had no social life, had sub-par social skills and seemed to take life too seriously...no lighter fun side to him. This was in his late 20s. Decent-looking guy, almost six feet tall, somewhat fit, clean-cut and dressed OK. He wasn't antisocial, just severely socially awkward...I suspect because he did very little socializing and befriending during his childhood, adolescence and college years. He was clueless about some basic social/cultural stuff that is second nature to most others around his age. He's in his early 30s now and is much better socially (although he's still a bit shy sometimes), because he worked on it. And he's now seeing an attractive, intelligent woman and has a few good friends. The vast majority of human beings are social creatures to varying extents, and waant some semblance of companionship and emotional intimacy from other people. Including most introverts and even many shy people. In the latter case, there's often a pretty interesting personality and sense of humor buried under the shyness. The lack of self-confidence (i.e. fear) suppresses or inhibits it. yep I can be the asian christen grey, like me some money and boom it's an Asian 50 shades You have a sense of humor. That is good, very good. Women are obviously very varied in what they like in a guy, but I believe that nearly all of them strongly prefer guys who can make them laugh. If you can get to a point where you can effortlessly, spontaneously and confidently show that side of yourself while in the company of others in public without being an ass about it, then you will draw favorable attention. 2
Author kart180 Posted February 24, 2015 Author Posted February 24, 2015 You have a sense of humor. That is good, very good. Women are obviously very varied in what they like in a guy, but I believe that nearly all of them strongly prefer guys who can make them laugh. If you can get to a point where you can effortlessly, spontaneously and confidently show that side of yourself while in the company of others in public without being an ass about it, then you will draw favorable attention. thanks so much, I'm a funny guy but in reality I'm so scared like a little mouse, even I think I see I nice looking girl and think oh I can't talk to her but that voice in my head says she won't like you and you have no hope.
Author kart180 Posted February 25, 2015 Author Posted February 25, 2015 Came in here to post this. Ideally he would expand his social circle to include friends of both genders. I know a guy who is exceptionally talented in his line of work (software engineering), but he quickly hit a glass ceiling personally (difficulty attracting women) and professionally because he had no social life, had sub-par social skills and seemed to take life too seriously...no lighter fun side to him. This was in his late 20s. Decent-looking guy, almost six feet tall, somewhat fit, clean-cut and dressed OK. He wasn't antisocial, just severely socially awkward...I suspect because he did very little socializing and befriending during his childhood, adolescence and college years. He was clueless about some basic social/cultural stuff that is second nature to most others around his age. He's in his early 30s now and is much better socially (although he's still a bit shy sometimes), because he worked on it. And he's now seeing an attractive, intelligent woman and has a few good friends. You have a sense of humor. That is good, very good. Women are obviously very varied in what they like in a guy, but I believe that nearly all of them strongly prefer guys who can make them laugh. If you can get to a point where you can effortlessly, spontaneously and confidently show that side of yourself while in the company of others in public without being an ass about it, then you will draw favorable attention. thanks, I'm a bit like that guy as my parents never taught me how to chat to girls or people in general, they say chat to people at college but when I do , it just makes me in trouble as they use me to grt better marks. also when I wan to talk to girls I feel I'm going to fall with my lack of conversion
Versacehottie Posted February 25, 2015 Posted February 25, 2015 Listen, people have the tendency to put other people in a little box or characterize them in some way. Like he's the smart one, or he's the funny one. Sometimes a bit more extensive that that but you get the picture. It's up to us to expand their idea of who we are by showing other parts of ourselves to them. And realize that you are learning more about them and their different sides as you interact. So when someone is trying to "use you for better marks", make sure you can tell the difference between someone who is trying to connect with you because of the overriding thing they know about you---He's the smartest guy in class---vs. someone who is a user. You don't OWE sharing your homework etc with anyone to make friends or and someone who wants to be a real friend doesn't seek that from you really. Well anyone worth being friends with. On the other hand, it's the easiest way for people who don't know you well to connect with you so you just have to take those sorts of things and use what you can to your advantage in making friends and meeting girls and know that you will be strong enough to turn them away if they only want to copy schoolwork and such from you. But a cute study partner, could be a positive way for you to make girl friends and so on and so forth. Lastly, a lot of people's parents don't teach them how to interact socially. We usually figure that out on our own. It sounds like you come from a good family who care about you a lot. Maybe from a different culture than a lot of your schoolmates. But everyone's family is "different" in some way. I think what I see when I read your posts (don't take this the wrong way because it's truly meant to help and if you can do this one thing it will help a lot!!): is that when you make an observation on any of the things that make up your life situation, you see limitations and things that are unsurmountable and blocking you. Turn those observations into challenges of things you want to work on, positive differences about yourself and find ways to work through them or turn them to your advantage. Like when I see that you are a smart guy, I know your future will probably hold a lot career-wise. That will likely be a dating advantage, as well as a life advantage. It can be an advantage now in that people want something from you. You choose how to use the advantage and put your own limits on what you are willing to give to friends in terms of study help and where it's too much. If you can find those boundaries (god, I hate that word but it applies) within your friendships, you will get to exercise something you will need for rest of your life. 1
Author kart180 Posted February 25, 2015 Author Posted February 25, 2015 Listen, people have the tendency to put other people in a little box or characterize them in some way. Like he's the smart one, or he's the funny one. Sometimes a bit more extensive that that but you get the picture. It's up to us to expand their idea of who we are by showing other parts of ourselves to them. And realize that you are learning more about them and their different sides as you interact. So when someone is trying to "use you for better marks", make sure you can tell the difference between someone who is trying to connect with you because of the overriding thing they know about you---He's the smartest guy in class---vs. someone who is a user. You don't OWE sharing your homework etc with anyone to make friends or and someone who wants to be a real friend doesn't seek that from you really. Well anyone worth being friends with. On the other hand, it's the easiest way for people who don't know you well to connect with you so you just have to take those sorts of things and use what you can to your advantage in making friends and meeting girls and know that you will be strong enough to turn them away if they only want to copy schoolwork and such from you. But a cute study partner, could be a positive way for you to make girl friends and so on and so forth. Lastly, a lot of people's parents don't teach them how to interact socially. We usually figure that out on our own. It sounds like you come from a good family who care about you a lot. Maybe from a different culture than a lot of your schoolmates. But everyone's family is "different" in some way. I think what I see when I read your posts (don't take this the wrong way because it's truly meant to help and if you can do this one thing it will help a lot!!): is that when you make an observation on any of the things that make up your life situation, you see limitations and things that are unsurmountable and blocking you. Turn those observations into challenges of things you want to work on, positive differences about yourself and find ways to work through them or turn them to your advantage. Like when I see that you are a smart guy, I know your future will probably hold a lot career-wise. That will likely be a dating advantage, as well as a life advantage. It can be an advantage now in that people want something from you. You choose how to use the advantage and put your own limits on what you are willing to give to friends in terms of study help and where it's too much. If you can find those boundaries (god, I hate that word but it applies) within your friendships, you will get to exercise something you will need for rest of your life. thanks so much, I do have a good family (sri Lankan)but I was born and breed in England. I was educated at a regular school in London. I don't usually have study partners as I like to study alone, but as you said maybe having a career might be good for finding a girlfriend or even just a female friend
Versacehottie Posted February 25, 2015 Posted February 25, 2015 thanks so much, I do have a good family (sri Lankan)but I was born and breed in England. I was educated at a regular school in London. I don't usually have study partners as I like to study alone, but as you said maybe having a career might be good for finding a girlfriend or even just a female friend Of course, it's obvious you have a good family. Here's the thing with the study partner (which is a good example) to illustrate turning things to your advantage. Try not to think so linear. Studying is not just for studying. I like to study alone too but when i was in college went on plenty of study dates where absolutely no studying happened! The guy probably knew it, I knew it wouldn't happen it was just an excuse to be together. That's what guys (and girls) with game do. Asking a guy to study with her is a safer way for a girl to essentially ask a guy out. So make sure you do all of your actual studying BEFORE you go on these study dates. Because your purpose of being there is to help the less fortunate student and socialize or flirt. For you, this is dating/flirting practice and you should think of it like that. Even if you set the bar a little lower and just consider it making friends practice. Every friend in your life will lead to you other things and other friends if you let them. In other words, try not to compartmentalize. You should try to get the practice now just because life it short and you are obviously interested in dating, who wouldn't be. You will have plenty of time for a serious relationship later and it will be easier to come by if you expand your social skills and circle now. College is a great time for building a great base of friends to network both socially and career-wise. Also putting yourself out there socially can be a hurdle, so while you are in college there is a good excuse to socialize whereas once people have careers it can be a little more difficult. Keep posting your progress 1
fitnessfan365 Posted February 25, 2015 Posted February 25, 2015 1) Do a search for "Coach Corey Wayne" on YouTube and watch his videos religiously. 2) Don't take advice from women online. They will all say how they want a "nice guy", etc.. But it's not ultimately who they're attracted to. If they were, they'd be dating one of their male friends. Haha There is a reason why "nice guy" is always followed with a but by women. 3) Before you try to date, focus on improving yourself. Get into shape, get some hobbies, etc.. Also, just get comfortable talking with women in general. Anytime you're out at a place you like to go, strike up conversations with girls that work there. If you can get a female employee laughing and enjoying talking to a customer, you're starting to be on the right track.
Macattack Posted February 25, 2015 Posted February 25, 2015 jobs are hard to come by for me despite having computing degree. Then start a blog using your skills to give tips and advice. You can turn it into a money making machine. Whatever do not use ads. Amazon affiliates and accepting donations is the way go to. Approach women is easy but teasing her. I used to tease this blonde, so when are you taking me out in a teasing tone. I wasn't interested in dating her however she helped me get over my fears of talking to women. How To Start a Blog and Make Money Online - in 5 Easy Steps 1
Author kart180 Posted February 25, 2015 Author Posted February 25, 2015 I just feel lje I need to take this off my chest Fee like o disappoint my parents by drinking alcohol. I'm allowed but my family had problem with it. My great uncle died of it And I feel like my mother's keep pure thing is making me old skool as I'm a virgin.
Author kart180 Posted February 25, 2015 Author Posted February 25, 2015 I do have a tumblr calls https://www.tumblr.com/blog/techwave42 and blog. guyfromlondon.blogspot.com
AVarma Posted February 25, 2015 Posted February 25, 2015 I'm going to collge IRSC but really my parents don't want me date. they want arranged marriage Dude I can totally relate to you. My parents are the same with wanting me to have an arranged marriage and all. The thing I did was follow their rules while I was dependent on them and once I got my own job and left the house I did whatever I wanted.
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