kart180 Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 I do lack condifence, but I see nice girls all around. I went out shopping and was so scared when I saw two girls. I wanted to say hi but was so scared, any tips for a guy who lacks confidence and living with parents
preraph Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 Just use your nice smile a lot to everyone, not just on the targeted girls, so you just look like an open and friendly person. Do be nice and jovial with people so you meet plenty of people, and then through them you will also meet new women, plus being seen being jovial makes people feel at ease approaching you or if you approach them. Pay attention to any girls who seem to voluntarily come around or talk to you, because those are the ones most open to you. Have lots of activities where women will be there, whether it be church or bowling or cooking class or dancing. It's a lot easier to ask a woman out if you've had some reason to talk to her first! Most women wouldn't say yes to someone they'd never talked to at all first, Good luck! 2
d0nnivain Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 Practice. Start by becoming more confident just talking to people, any people, of every age & gender. For one week say hi to a new person every day. Nothing elaborate just hello. Then say hi to 2 new people a week. It will be better if they are not women you find attractive. The point is to get you comfortable talking to strangers & getting positive responses. The people will most likely smile & say hi back. When you are better about saying hi, then move to banal conversation: nice weather etc. As you get better you will gain confidence, then you can talk to women. 6
mightycpa Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 I went out shopping and was so scared when I saw two girls. I wanted to say hi but was so scared Wowza! any tips ... Say hi anyway. Don't take the rejection personally. Comfort yourself by understanding that once you leave, they won't think about you anymore. Go to another town, or a part of town where you don't really hang out. Try it out on people you'll never see again. Your approach will probably suck the first few times, so expect rejection. See if you can figure out what went wrong, and then change it a little... more friendly, less friendly, who knows? don't quit.. you'll get better, and you'll be less afraid, the more you do it. Once you're good at it, start hunting in your own back yard.
Sunlight72 Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 Yep, this is what I did to get better at talking to cute girls (and it worked for me better than I thought it would) - talk to them like you would take to a guy. Good advice from d0nnivain - talk a tiny bit to different people. Just say something trivial or make a goofy observation about something you both can see. It's like the first baby steps to doing stand-up comedy. You don't start with an act, you just start pointing out funny little things. The more you do it, the more funny things you'll notice and think of. That's what you need my friend, just doing it a little bit, often. It's actually pretty fun, and never mind the pretty girls for now. In a couple months one of the people you make a goofy comment to will just turn out to be a cute girl - don't worry about that for now. Best Wishes. 2
Versacehottie Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 yes echo what others are saying about just talk to everyone about minor things. It will raise your confidence. In meantime, change your expectations. With these conversations, currently you WANT to go to talk to cute girls to ask out, have a girlfriend, etc--that's too big a hurdle. Change it into talking to whoever, knowing they will walk away. Just a trivial conversation. If it develops into something longer, that's an unexpected bonus but was never your intention (Not at this point). When you get more comfortable you can raise the stakes. Ok here's another p.s. I talk to tons of random strangers often. It's funny (i think it happened to me today) when someone reacts badly to a simple little conversation about the weather, you really see them in the light they are in which is NOT GOOD! How hard is it to make a friendly conversation in line at starbucks? As your confidence grows, you will see "rejection" in such a different light. It doesn't really feel like rejection when a person blows you off or is somewhat rude. I usually feel sorry for them--what a pathetic life to not be able to enjoy other people. Also I just figure they've actually exposed a part of who they really ARE not some stranger to idolize. Everything that happens is more information. These cute girls are not untouchable. Good luck. 2
Author kart180 Posted February 18, 2015 Author Posted February 18, 2015 Practice. Start by becoming more confident just talking to people, any people, of every age & gender. For one week say hi to a new person every day. Nothing elaborate just hello. Then say hi to 2 new people a week. It will be better if they are not women you find attractive. The point is to get you comfortable talking to strangers & getting positive responses. The people will most likely smile & say hi back. When you are better about saying hi, then move to banal conversation: nice weather etc. As you get better you will gain confidence, then you can talk to women. great tips and yep im not that confident, not really person who goes out a lot. tried OKC again and just got no one, i would like to message women but dont know where to start and just feel i might do better just being single for now
smackie9 Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 If you ain't got game, then don't approach girls randomly that you don't even know.....you will come off as creepy, you will lose confidence and get discouraged. You are best to socialize with girls with a group of buddies (safety in numbers). Secondly, talk to girls that don't intimidate you (unattractive girls), or a buddies sister, or old school mate, co-worker etc. Like everyone here mentioned.....practise. You can also go on Youtube and look up stuff about how to talk to girls, etc. Some of those videos give you an idea of how the it all works, the way girls think, etc. 1
coryreply Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 Confidence is the key. Try and find ways to build up your confidence in general. Do you have a job?
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 Talk to anyone regardless of gender/attractiveness whenever you can. Work on being comfortable socializing with strangers.
CrystalShine2011 Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 I feel like the best place to meet or talk to women is by being out there. Are you apart of any group, club, church, school, etc that will allow you to interact with women? I suppose bars are good too. Just build confidence little by little by going out of your comfort zone and saying "hi!" 1
Author kart180 Posted February 19, 2015 Author Posted February 19, 2015 If you ain't got game, then don't approach girls randomly that you don't even know.....you will come off as creepy, you will lose confidence and get discouraged. You are best to socialize with girls with a group of buddies (safety in numbers). Secondly, talk to girls that don't intimidate you (unattractive girls), or a buddies sister, or old school mate, co-worker etc. Like everyone here mentioned.....practise. You can also go on Youtube and look up stuff about how to talk to girls, etc. Some of those videos give you an idea of how the it all works, the way girls think, etc. thanks, yep I would come off creepy and I wish I had good friends thou or even buddies.
d0nnivain Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 great tips and yep im not that confident, not really person who goes out a lot. tried OKC again and just got no one, i would like to message women but dont know where to start and just feel i might do better just being single for now You are defeating yourself by refusing to even try. Seriously. Say Hi to one person today. Just one. Come back & tell me how that went. You can do this. Once you get some success saying hi you will feel better & more confident. It's a different scale but the same "problem." Years ago my then employer sent me to a huge chamber of commerce event to drum up new business. I had been to networking events before but never by myself. I always just tagged along behind my bosses. So here I am at this thing with 400+ people but I don't know anyone except the event's organizer & she's busy. My employer paid a lot of money for me to be there so I knew I had to do something. I literally started doing laps around the tent this thing was in, looking for somebody to talk to. As a woman I was also scared that if I smiled at a man or said hello he was going to assume I wanted to sleep with him so I just paced. It was ridiculous. Finally on about my 3rd lap I saw these two older (than me) guys talking to each other. I smiled & said hi. I didn't realize it at the time but their body language, angled toward each other but open, sort of forming a V with their shoulders was sending a message that they were open to other people joining their conversation. Had they been flush facing each other with both shoulders parallel to each other, they would have been closed to intrusion. Anyway, all I eeked out was this squeaky not very confident "hi." They took it from there. They said that had watched me do laps, knew I was new & overwhelmed. They were glad I said hi & then they introduced me to about 100 people. For the next year whenever I'd see one of them he'd introduce me to more business people & they always taught me more about networking. You may not have to deal with what I did but I share to show you everyone is nervous but that most people are kind. If you can be the brave one & say hi 1st, the other person will respond. If they do nothing more, they don't want a conversation. However some people will be so grateful you broke the ice that they will keep talking. 3
mightycpa Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 great tips and yep im not that confident, not really person who goes out a lot. tried OKC again and just got no one, i would like to message women but dont know where to start and just feel i might do better just being single for nowWell, if you're going to go about it that way, you should focus on making a ton of money instead, because that's the only way that single, never-dated, non-confident older men can get women - by having a ton of money. 3
Toodaloo Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 Well, if you're going to go about it that way, you should focus on making a ton of money instead, because that's the only way that single, never-dated, non-confident older men can get women - by having a ton of money. ...then spending it on a lawyer when she divorces him... 1
Versacehottie Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 thanks, yep I would come off creepy and I wish I had good friends thou or even buddies. ok, if a lack of friends makes it hard to talk to people, that's just at a club, bar or party or event. Basically, go back to normal every day activities and errands. Most people are alone during those. The goal is not to immediately get a date or a girlfriend. It's to get some more confidence. Say hi, strike up conversation. This will sound crazy but start with really old people if that makes it easier! In the meantime, pick a hobby or activity that you want to do and JOIN. Would be good if it's a coed type one but that's not necessary. If you need friends too, then even a group that has all males in it could lead you to your GF in the future. This is just a simple example but let's say you join a tri club. You training a lot, all guys. Then you make friends and there's BBQ on weekend with a mixed group--someone's sister, friend will be there. This is how people get girlfriends Keep posting your progress. Good luck 1
mightycpa Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 ...then spending it on a lawyer when she divorces him... Um, I said "get", not marry. You know what I'm talking about. 1
smackie9 Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 You need to make some friends first then and work on your social skills. Girls are going to see something wrong with you if you don't have a social circle of some kind. Girls are social creatures, and are attracted to someone that can easily, and confidently work their way through a party, social event, talk comfortably with her friends and participate in activities. 1
daniella993 Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 I like the advice from Sunlight72 about going to some place, where you don’t know anyone. It’s like that kind of travelers stuff.. ones you meet somebody in a train, you can tell the whole story of your life and be sure that you won’t never meet this person again… And about social circle. It calls to build a good social capital using your own prerogatives – your better features. Yes, its important for girls to see that you are communicative, engaging and all that.. but! I’m three years in relationships with a man, who is not that kind of person. When we met, he was self-contained and not vey communicative. For our case it was much easier to talk via ICQ or Viber, rather than off-line meetings. Today I understand his behavior in another way – it was his way to check if he could believe me. I think its good for both, first to make sure how good and kind this person is. I recommend you to try on-line chating before dating. If she knows that you are a good storyteller and a hearer in one person, she will find it great to talk to you in the nice café with romantic aura) I’ve been looking for some tips for you, and here is one infographics https://kovla.com/blog/top-10-online-dating-tips/ and one list of tips http://www.gq.com/news-politics/mens-lives/201302/online-dating-guide-relationship-tips I hope you will find your perfect girl! Good luck, my friend! 1
Author kart180 Posted February 21, 2015 Author Posted February 21, 2015 Well, if you're going to go about it that way, you should focus on making a ton of money instead, because that's the only way that single, never-dated, non-confident older men can get women - by having a ton of money. yep I can be the asian christen grey, like me some money and boom it's an Asian 50 shades 2
Author kart180 Posted February 21, 2015 Author Posted February 21, 2015 You need to make some friends first then and work on your social skills. Girls are going to see something wrong with you if you don't have a social circle of some kind. Girls are social creatures, and are attracted to someone that can easily, and confidently work their way through a party, social event, talk comfortably with her friends and participate in activities. yep, I wish, I don't go out that much but hope I will when I go to college and get better friends 1
Author kart180 Posted February 21, 2015 Author Posted February 21, 2015 I'm going to collge IRSC but really my parents don't want me date. they want arranged marriage
Author kart180 Posted February 21, 2015 Author Posted February 21, 2015 I recommend you to try on-line chating before dating. If she knows that you are a good storyteller and a hearer in one person, she will find it great to talk to you in the nice café with romantic aura) I’ve been looking for some tips for you, and here is one infographics https://kovla.com/blog/top-10-online-dating-tips/ and one list of tips The Best Online Dating Tips I hope you will find your perfect girl! Good luck, my friend! thanks for the tips, I do usually say hi when I message in okcupid, I just feel maybe dating not good for me as parents don't like it
Versacehottie Posted February 21, 2015 Posted February 21, 2015 yep I can be the asian christen grey, like me some money and boom it's an Asian 50 shades see you're funny! idk, i think you said that with a lot of confidence and personality. Girls love a sense of humor!! And not only a good sense of humor you have if that's your photo. You just need to believe it. That would be tough if your parents want a certain marriage. Would they be happy if you met a girl of Sri Lankan heritage who YOU choose? And most importantly, could you be happy with that if you met the right one? 1
Author kart180 Posted February 21, 2015 Author Posted February 21, 2015 see you're funny! idk, i think you said that with a lot of confidence and personality. Girls love a sense of humor!! And not only a good sense of humor you have if that's your photo. You just need to believe it. That would be tough if your parents want a certain marriage. Would they be happy if you met a girl of Sri Lankan heritage who YOU choose? And most importantly, could you be happy with that if you met the right one? of course If a meet a nice SriLankan american it would be good but mother wants to marry in family
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