Flyboy1990 Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 Hey guys! Have a bit of a situation here and would appreciate any advice there is. I'll try and nutshell it... I'm a 25 year old Australian Flight attendant. I was with my ex boyfriend for about 10 months until about just under 3 months ago. The relationship was great until I bought up to discussion about that I would like to work internationally as a flight attendant. It's not that he wasn't supportive, he just said I just can't see how we would work if you go and that was that really. This kind of bought me into wondering what life would be like without him, and I started missing being single, wanting to be alone again, feeling like I might be missing out on life if I stayed with him and feeling the old "I love you but not in love with you" saying. Basically, he ended it in the end a few months later but I really bought it on with how I was acting. He said he felt as though I was waiting for him to do it. We went into no contact immediately. I was shattered, couldn't get out of bed for days. I had days where I almost messaged him, and then days where I was like no it was the right decision we wanted different things. Either way, I did feel a big sense of regret as he is the only guy I've ever loved and I don't feel like I'll be so compatible with anyone again. Bring on Valentine's day. I was ummng and aahing about messaging him the whole day, but he did first in the end. Just telling me, thanks for being the love of my life and you'll always be in my heart. I said thankyou that's really sweet, I'm the same. His next response was, I got offered my dream job in Melbourne ( 3 hour flight away) and I move in 4 weeks. I found this really hard news to take...because I realised even after what happened, deep down I thought I would get him back eventually. I hadn't applied for any international jobs yet as the fact that he was still around I didn't want to rule out us getting back together. I'm not sure what to do now...I guess if he moves it's a clean break for both of us, on the other hand it really puts a end to us full stop which I don't know if I'm ready for. I keep wondering if I should let him know how I feel, or do some big romantic gesture. I wouldn't want to stop him from moving, long distance would be quite doable with my job. Otherhand, he said he wants to catch up as friends before he goes. If I say nothing, I could potentially keep him in my life as a good friend which is better then nothing I guess. Sorry, that was a massive post! Interesting in other people's advice, please be as honest as possible.
Ruby65 Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 To be honest, I had a case of GIGS in my early 20's, I broke up with my then-bf and moved 3,000 miles away and started a new life... and after many months I started to doubt my decision. So I'm probably biased here because, in my case, we had a happy ending -- I finally reached out, we got back together, I moved back to the west coast and we were married the following year. It's not easy to settle down sometimes, but IMO anyway I think it's a lot easier if you've taken some time to experience being single again and dated around a bit. For me, that was the only way to be sure I wanted him back -- by really experiencing life without him. I'm not sure why you think his moving is The End of your relationship.... not when you both are still calling each other the love of your lives? Why are you unable to relocate to Melbourne? In any case, I don't think a huge romantic gesture is in order, but I'd definitely tell him how you feel. That worked for me -- my ex and I were back together in the course of a single phone call, and soon after I flew out to visit him and moved back to his city a few months later. Don't settle for just being friends. Let him know how you feel -- and if he doesn't want to get back together, let him go so you can heal and move on.
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