ZiggyZoo Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 I just thought I'd share this, it might help some of you who are struggling with your break up. Hang in there, everything will end up ok. Maybe not as crazy as for me, but you'll be fine. OK, my ex-husband of seven years, with whom I have three daughters, left me in August 2012 for a lady he had met at the bar. I was devastated, made an ass of myself, got some excellent therapy, went LC, and got over him. Yes, it CAN happen, I never thought I would fall out of love with him, but I did. Anyway, we got divorced, which was final in September of 2013. They got married in December of 2013. I just found out from my ex-husband that they are divorcing. Oh, but it gets better...SHE left HIM for his brother! Holy sh*t, I'm still in shock over it. I talked to my ex today, and told him that I was sorry to hear about this, and I meant it. I said that I had long since gotten over his leaving, and actually learned a lot about myself from it. I said that I could understand how crappy he must be feeling, and I was here to talk if he needed me to. We both agreed that that would probably be too weird, but he thanked me anyway. SO, the moral of this story is HANG IN THERE! Like I said, I never thought I'd ever get over him, and I did. You can too, just focus on yourself and believe that it'll work out. The best thing for me, isn't karma showing up like she did, but the fact that my first reaction was to feel bad for what my ex was going through, as a fellow human being. OK, that's my second reaction, I did smirk a teeny tiny bit. I'm not a saint... But it can happen. 12 Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 I did smirk a teeny tiny bit. I'm not a saint... But it can happen. You weren't even tempted to say this? That bitch! I've been seeing your brother too! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ZiggyZoo Posted February 18, 2015 Author Share Posted February 18, 2015 Ha haaa! Nope, but I WOULD love to be a fly on the wall for Easter dinner... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Flabreakup Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 How long does it take to feel better after that kind of breakup. I'm only on two weeks and have to see her every other day because of our daughter. It still feels like the same day it happened. I get excited yet fearful every time I have to see her. Glad to hear you have moved o. Though. Let's me know there is still some hope out there. Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 You weren't even tempted to say this? Post of the day. I'll remember this one should I ever find myself in a similar situation like OP. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ZiggyZoo Posted February 18, 2015 Author Share Posted February 18, 2015 How long does it take to feel better after that kind of breakup. I'm only on two weeks and have to see her every other day because of our daughter. It still feels like the same day it happened. I get excited yet fearful every time I have to see her. Glad to hear you have moved o. Though. Let's me know there is still some hope out there. Thanks Oh, I feel for you. My ex and I had only one car, so.I had to see him twice a day so we could trade it off. It's tough seeing them. I'd say it took me about two months to be past the crying all the time, can't eat, can't sleep stage. I made an ass of myself during it too, which probably didn't help. I begged him to come back, called and texted him all the time...I think that if I had gone LC in the beginning it might have been easier. You'll get there. I had a few good people around me who had been through the same thing, and they kept assuring me of this. I didn't think I would, and honestly didn't want to get over him at times, but it happened. Just hang in there. Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 You weren't even tempted to say this? I am going to try to remember this one! Why do you always come up with the witty retorts 10 minutes AFTER and sit there thinking I wish I had said that... Remind me never to get into a row with you CPA... I think I would end up laughing. Link to post Share on other sites
coryreply Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 Good for you Ziggy! Thanks for sharing. It sounds like you have made wonderful progress in your life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CrystalShine2011 Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 Good for you, this is awesome! Great attitude. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 That's incredible! Is the brother really goodlooking and younger? What kind of guy is he OP? I'm just curious. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ZiggyZoo Posted February 18, 2015 Author Share Posted February 18, 2015 coryreply and CrystalShine2011: Thanks, guys! I worked very hard to get where I am now, and had a lot of great support from people who had also been through it. That's why I come on here, to give advice and encouragement to others. I never, ever thought I'd be OK after he left, but it made me so much stronger. It showed me that I could survive something completely turning my life upside down. I draw a lot of strength from the experience. It's helping me in my current breakup, knowing that it'll be OK in the end. Getting there is tough as hell though. stillafool: His brother is a few years younger, and almost the polar opposite of my ex. My ex has tattoos, and woks in tool and die. He was the "bad" kid growing up. Didn't go to college. The brother actually graduated top of his class at law school, at a major university and I believe is a public defendant. So, he was the "good" one. I'd say looks-wise, my ex is more attractive...The funny thing is, when my ex left, his family was kind of divided. Their mom basically condoned what he did, saying that she didn't want to alienate her son any, so never really told him that she disapproved of what he had done. I mean, the new chick was over for Thanksgiving dinner, three months after he left me for her. Classy. But the brother took a stand against him right away and told him that he completely thought that what my ex did was wrong, blah blah blah. Their dad, a Catholic deacon, said not a thing. Yeah, this goes along way towards explaining how both their sons could disrespect and break up a relationship just to make themselves happy. I'm DYING to know how the mom is going to handle this mess. She OK'd this sort of thing for one son, she has to do the same for the other, right? And how are they going to explain it to my girls, that their stepmom is now with their uncle? What a mess. Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 That woman seems to be a very routined OW/MW. But if brother #2 gets out of the affair fog she'll likely go back to brother #1. I do hope that if brother #2 is really as smart as his education would let people assume he won't consider her marriage material or would ever do her without a condom. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ZiggyZoo Posted February 19, 2015 Author Share Posted February 19, 2015 That woman seems to be a very routined OW/MW. But if brother #2 gets out of the affair fog she'll likely go back to brother #1. I do hope that if brother #2 is really as smart as his education would let people assume he won't consider her marriage material or would ever do her without a condom. I don't know WHAT he's thinking. But I do know this, there's no way my (ha, OUR) ex-husband would have anything to do with her. He's very "scorched earth" when it comes to ending things. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted February 19, 2015 Share Posted February 19, 2015 I don't know WHAT he's thinking. But I do know this, there's no way my (ha, OUR) ex-husband would have anything to do with her. He's very "scorched earth" when it comes to ending things. Well, let him enjoy the dating scene then. I hope he has a computer and looks like an actor or better. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ZiggyZoo Posted February 19, 2015 Author Share Posted February 19, 2015 Well, let him enjoy the dating scene then. I hope he has a computer and looks like an actor or better. Oh, he's already seeing someone new. I thought at first that HE had left HER for this new girl. That's actually his pattern, since the girl before me, at least. But he's managed to trade in on this sad tale of woe enough to at least get her attention. He's not the type to look inward and try to learn something from adversity. Better to move on to the next one and forget about it. Ah well, he's not my problem any more. And my girls said she's really nice, so there's that. Link to post Share on other sites
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