DnB_CityLife Posted February 17, 2015 Posted February 17, 2015 Right of the bat i'll excuse fo my english, i'm dutch so i might have some mistakes in here . So here is the deal: after 3 and a half years of having a very passionate but harsh relationship i finaly found myself feeling unhappy and exausted. I decided to break up with her, she could relate with my decision but it's still the hardest thing i've ever done. She was my first real love and we've expierenced a lot of first time things together. Like moving out of the house, sex, college, you name it. She was my rock and i was hers . The breakup happened 6 weeks ago, we've had minimal contact since wich was fine by me. During this time she even send me a text in wich she said she could't wait for the drama to be over and be friends again. However something changed. Last week a had a nightmare about her so i couldn't stop myself from calling her that morning just to hear her voice. She was ok with me calling but talked really stressed and acted all over the place. Eventualy she told me not to be so sentimental and hung up the phone leaving me confused. The night after this morning i broke my nose due to unnecessary violence trying to break up a fight. I posted a picture on facebook afterwards with my head in bandages and i knew she'd seen it. Still i didn't get a text or a call or any sign of her wanting to know if i was ok. The following days i've felt so very lonely without her or even a sign from her. A few days after i got patched up from the nose thing i went to her place to bring her stuff, we'd scheduled this beforehand. She called she was late when i got there and when she did show up she didn't act like herself at all. I didnt feel any love or care, just coldness, like the 3 and a half years never existed. It all felt very rushed as well. I'm confused and heartbroken right now. I miss her so much, this isn't her and i dont know why she is treating me like this. I shouted at her "where are you?" and "i don't know you anymore!". but i just got a weird grin back telling me i'm not her boyfriend anymore and i should't contact her again. I don't need her love or want her back, i just want her to act like she loved me once and recognize our past relationship. I haven't slept for days because of this. Anyone any advice? Thank you for reading it all trough .
jus d'orange Posted February 17, 2015 Posted February 17, 2015 She's acting like that because you guys have broken up, and probably because she's hurt inside as well. The weird smile and explanation she gave you doesn't mean that after you left she wasn't struggling. She can't smile and be warm with you anymore because to her, you are still representative of all of this pain. The way that she showed love in the past won't be there anymore, no matter what. Those feelings are in the past, and if you don't want to get back together again, then don't worry about seeing them. Instead, spend your time on yourself, healing from your broken nose (sorry about that!), getting over the relationship in a healthy way, and if you want to feel love, focus on waiting for that in the future with someone else. Best of luck! 1
quattrob Posted February 17, 2015 Posted February 17, 2015 To be fair tc, what you see from her is normal. You broke up with her so she probably has some resentment to you. Also in a way you did hurt her trust. This new her is just a mask to protect herself. Deep down she still treasures those memories and cares. Just now she cant act like she does because its too early, overtime she will be normal again. The moment you chose to breakup with someone you have to accept the consequences. Dont worry over time everyone will be fine. Dont push or rush it, you'll only make it worse. 2
Standard-Fare Posted February 17, 2015 Posted February 17, 2015 You're expecting girlfriend responses from her, but she's not your girlfriend anymore. You're expecting her to act like she's still in love with you, when she probably isn't. It's tough, but you'll need to go through a mental adjustment so you're no longer expecting or needing those types of reactions from her. In fact, it would be best to cut off contact entirely for a while, so both of you can do your proper healing. For example you should block each other on Facebook so you can both do your own thing there and not worry about each other's reactions. 1
mightycpa Posted February 17, 2015 Posted February 17, 2015 (edited) I've got some friendly advice for you, and if you heed it and its meaning, you'll feel better soon. Get used to it. She doesn't want to be your pal, because she fears you'll be too sentimentalI believe that was the exact word she used. EDIT: also, this does not compute at all: I miss her so much, this isn't her and i dont know why she is treating me like this. I shouted at her "where are you?" and "i don't know you anymore!". but i just got a weird grin back telling me i'm not her boyfriend anymore and i should't contact her again.when combined with this: I don't need her love or want her back,and I have to say that this: i just want her to act like she loved me once and recognize our past relationship. sounds very "female" for a dumper. Sounds to me that you got the tables turned on you. She gave you the weird grin, which I can only interpret as the power of least interest over you. Edited February 17, 2015 by mightycpa 3
Author DnB_CityLife Posted February 17, 2015 Author Posted February 17, 2015 Thank you for all your reply's! I've decided to remove her from facebook and any other form of social media. I've also decided to focus on exercising more to get trough this pain, i guess i just need to accept i'll never feel that kind of love from her again. I do have to add tough, for someone who has been in such a relationship not that long ago, she was acting real cold. Almost like she was doing it to hurt me on purpose. Cheers again i'm going to try and get some sleep now
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