lostandlonely Posted April 4, 2005 Posted April 4, 2005 Hi, was wondering if anyone can help me with this: I got dumped by my gf of 4 and a half years at the end of january, i didnt take it well to begin with (who does?), but i genuinely believe that im over her now and that i've moved on. HOWEVER For some reason i've become far more emotional than i used to be, the prime example being that i find myself welling up in sad parts of films, tv shows and books. I never used to do that, and frankly its a little embarassing particularly when im with other people. It's not just 'relationship' things that are triggering this either, it seems to happen whenever something slightly sad happens. I was wondering if anyone else has experienced this sort of change? Its odd, i've always been able to cry when it was appropriate/personal and im not one of those stiff upper lip types, but this is a real shift from what i used to be like. Its almost like being a teenager again. I suppose that i dont mind if its permament, im just surprised that this change has occured. Has anyone else experienced anything like this ?
Marshbear Posted April 5, 2005 Posted April 5, 2005 I seriously doubt if you are completely over her after 3 months. There are stages that people go through when getting over a relationship. Them being: 1. You think they will come back and you are in denial as to the completeness of the end. 2. You get angry at the person for leaving you. 3. You finally accept that they will not be coming back and you start to heal and move on with your life. This takes time and people do this at their own pace. Your crying during sad events says you have not healed and you still hurt inside. Crying is a healthy emotional release and is necessary to cope with things. Don't be ashamed of it. I would advise you to take things slow. You will know when you are really over the relationship and ready to move on.
demonfall Posted April 5, 2005 Posted April 5, 2005 I'm in the same boat as you. My gf of about 2 years dumped me in the middle of January. I get choked up at the simplest things. TV, movies, books, etc. I'm really not ashamed of it though. I don't care what anyone thinks about me crying over things. I've been an heartbroken wreck of a man, and have been trying to work through this rough patch of my life. I accept the emotional breakdowns and don't fight them too often. On a side note. I ****ed up and broke NC tonight. Couldn't stop myself. Sent a text message to see if she would talk to me. Said she was busy and would call tomorrow. I know I'm going to regret this, but had a weak moment. So yeah, I haven't moved on yet.
pippen_2k Posted April 5, 2005 Posted April 5, 2005 Demon, just dont wait around expecting that phone call tomorrow... I had similar experiences just recently. You get your hopes up that she will call, and when she dosent, it just brings nothing but hurt,,, False Hope is the killer...
ReluctantRomeo Posted April 5, 2005 Posted April 5, 2005 Dumped on New Year's eve and I still find I have emotional moments. Usually *not* to do with ReluctantJuliet these days. I've decided to go with it and "enjoy". So yes, I think it's perfectly normal. PS My signature is not a personal attack on you Demonfall... more a reminder to myself
blind_otter Posted April 5, 2005 Posted April 5, 2005 I think it's perfectly normal to be emotional after a breakup. The two breakups from longterm relationships I had (relationships that lasted at least a year) were right after I had miscarriages, so I was already in postpartumdepressionland, and I actually had to take mood stabilizers for a while to even myself out. But I was DEEEEEEEPRESSED!
EC Posted April 5, 2005 Posted April 5, 2005 In my experience, after a break up of a serious relationship, it takes about a year or longer to FULLY get over them...if you truly loved them. I noticed it takes a year because you have to go through all the holidays and everything by yourself and without them...after you go through all of that then you can really fully move on. As for being more emotional...I can completely relate. And not even being more emotional but being more attached to things and appreciating things more...because you never know when it can be gone.
flowergirl Posted April 6, 2005 Posted April 6, 2005 Lost: I know exactly how you feel. I broke up with a boyfriend once right around the time Ronald Reagan died, so when I watched his funeral on tv, I found myself bawling like a little baby, and I didn't even LIKE the man!!! So, that just goes to show that a.) I'm an emtional basketcase, and b.) during trying times such as breakups, emotions run a little higher due to the grieving process. So, have a good cry, let it all out and eventually you'll get it out of your system. Good luck.
datdarkman Posted April 6, 2005 Posted April 6, 2005 I have to agree with you Ec. It'll be a year in May since me and my ex have been broken up. X-mas, Thanksgiving, and New Years were hard for me. I stayed away from everyone during that time. I was so used to spending those times with her (5 year relationship) so I was really depressed. But I'm doing better now. Even though I still have some bad days but it's all good. Time is a great healer of the heart.
Author lostandlonely Posted April 8, 2005 Author Posted April 8, 2005 Thanks to everyone for the comments, it helps to know that im not the only emotional one out there.
ReluctantRomeo Posted April 11, 2005 Posted April 11, 2005 Originally posted by lostandlonely Thanks to everyone for the comments, it helps to know that im not the only emotional one out there. Actually, I'm beginning to believe that it's the non-emotional, non-messed up break-ups who are the exception. We're the rule
TGC Posted April 11, 2005 Posted April 11, 2005 Originally posted by ReluctantRomeo Actually, I'm beginning to believe that it's the non-emotional, non-messed up break-ups who are the exception. We're the rule Relationships (real ones anyway) are made up of emotion. Love is only emotion, someone who can make you laugh, smile, feel good about yourself. When that person is taken away, of course you will feel extremely emotionally messed up. If a break-up is non-emotional then it wasn't a true relationship... the only ones that do this are either little kids who went out with each other because they thought the other one was cute, or people who mistake their good connection as friends for romantic feelings, and then realise in the relationship that they both only liked each other as good friends, and end it together. (very rare). TGC
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